Sunday, October 16, 2016

My Own Personal Spiritual Battle This Year

It has been so long since I have written from the heart. So much of this year has been difficult to write on. Where does one begin when one is so beaten up? Today I began reflecting on the truth that Jesus did nothing wrong while here on earth and yet so many accused Him falsely and in the end He was crucified, accused of a crime He never committed.

This year has been so hard on me and honestly the two prior have been a trial of trials. This year though has all but kept me from my purpose. I have been accused of having relationships with men that I have never had. I have been accused of things I have never done. These accusations made me stop writing, stop posting on Facebook as I used to. I was asked to unfriend every male person on my Facebook account and I obliged thinking that this act might finally cause this assault to end. It didn't. My accuser wanted more. In the end I have to acknowledge that the true enemy of mine is simply working through this poor soul in order to snuff out my light. While I will continue to pray over this lost person, I can no longer allow them the power over my life's purpose. In the end, I have to Love God above all else and trust that everything else will fall into place.

It is crazy to be placed on trial for nothing. To have someone comb through every snippet of your life, your posts, your pictures, your friend lists, their walls, your cabinets, your children's cabinets and to have crazy notions of supposed activities and desires presented against you. It is enough to drive a person crazy. It has driven me crazy. It caused me to shut down my blog. It caused me to close myself away from the world in almost every way. It caused me to not talk to as many people as I normally would in my walk. I just did not want the fight that these things brought. The crazy thing is, quitting all of these things only seemed to feed the beast. It was as if every thing that I gave up demanded more things be given up. You cannot satisfy the enemy. He seeks your ultimate death. This is what I realized. I am not willing to sacrifice my life for the enemy. For Christ yes. For the enemy no.

Yesterday, I made the decision to get back to the will of God for my life. It was weird how it all came about actually. First, Facebook prompted me to update my profile picture. I was bored and decided to flip through my photos. Crazy enough, I had a picture of myself with my first two books that was taken by a friend of mine at my first public speaking and book signing event. Here it is:


I have received several compliments already and yet from my accuser I received a message that this image was damaging to me. That I should remove it from my profile because in the background was a man with his pants down. I was informed that I was a victim and while it was my life, I should really consider taking down this image. This was the final nail in the coffin. These accusations are once again a big lie but I began to wonder, 'Does this person truly believe what they are saying about what they see?'

If so, this just goes to prove that the enemy can indeed plant false visions and thoughts into a non-believer's head! This is why Paul reminds us that our fight is not against flesh and blood:

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. (Ephesians 6:12, NASB)

In the end, I want nothing more than to give my life to God and have Him use me as He sees fit. I don't have time for senseless relationships with men. Honestly, I am pregnant at 47 and have just now crossed into my second trimester. The last two pregnancies had ended in miscarriage so I was leary of even saying anything about my condition until now. Honestly, I haven't even been to a doctor for I learned in the past when you begin to lose the baby there is nothing they can do to change that. I simply could not put myself through all that again. Now I need to get about the business of scheduling a doctor's appointment. I also need to get about my Father's business and stop putting so much energy into something as senseless as the enemy trying to snuff out my light. I enjoy sharing what God has done in my life. I love sharing the truth of Christ. Why on earth have I allowed the enemy to steal my joy in such things? I don't know the answer to that, but I do know slowly I began to not get fully dressed in my full suit of armor each day. That is a dangerous thing to begin. Today is a new day and I am recommitting my life to the LORD, come what may. I will no longer respond to these negative attacks. I will allow them no power in my life. They are lies, why should they gain my attention? The answer is they should not. From now on, they will not!

Please keep me in your prayers, you will be in mine.

Wendy, mother of many, girl who is back to walking with God!

© Wendy Glidden 2016

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