Showing posts with label steal. Show all posts
Showing posts with label steal. Show all posts

Monday, September 9, 2013

God is Always Good!

Good morning my friends! Today is marvelously magnificent miraculous Monday. What do you consider to be a miracle? For me just this day and the way I can laugh is a miracle. For you see, a small part of me would prefer to be curled up in a corner crying my eyes out. However, I know that that is what the evil one wants for me. His only purpose is to steal, kill and destroy. His desire is to keep me in bondage in the dark buried in misery. Pardon the pun, but I say "Hell no!" to that!! My God came so I could LIVE life and live that life abundantly! He sent his only son to share with us the message of His NEVER ENDING LOVE and GRACE. His only begotten son, doing no wrong, died on the cross and proclaimed, "It is finished." Who am I to say otherwise. I say to you who are down for whatever reason, recognize misery and worry for what they are: Satan's sad attempt to steal your joy, kill your dreams and destroy your purpose.

God is always good. He gave us free will. Satan uses that knowledge against us. He whispers things to us and tricks us into focusing on things of this world. It is miraculous what happens in your life when you change that focus onto God and His kingdom. All of a sudden what is meant to destroy us, loses it's power. Let me see if I can show some examples here from my own life. God knows I've been through one hell of a thirty day storm. Let me recap it all for those of you who have not been following my blog:

July 31, 2013:  My children and mother were having what seemed at the time a battle of wills. She had made a bad decision and in the process my children were removed from her custody by a sheriff and whisked off to the hospital to be examined thoroughly. LONG STORY!

August 2, 2013:  Mike headed off to Florida as his grandfather was on his death bed and Mike, while not close to his grandfather, felt his mother needed him. He had stated, "I've never heard her cry so hard."

August 4, 2013:  By 5:00 pm, Mike had not been heard from anyone. He was driving to Florida on his motorcycle. The last time I had heard from him, he informed me his tire was showing the metal mesh and he was looking for a tire shop. While he was missing in action, I received a call from the sheriff's office. My heart lurched and my mind immediately thought the call was about Mike. However, it was in regards to my 14 year old. ANOTHER long story!

August 5, 2013: While at court with my 14 year old and her father, my phone rang and I was informed that another report had been filed with the department of children. In the process of trying to put all the pieces of this crazy puzzle together, I discovered a great betrayal committed against me by both my mother and my oldest child. Yelp, you know it, yet another long story!!

August 6, 2013: Mike's grandfather was buried. I removed my children from my mother's care permanently. Mike decided he should be back at home and had me wire him money to get back earlier than he had originally planned on.

August 8, 2013: I took the two children in question regarding the 2nd report filed with the department of children for their criminal forensic interview. We were there for three very long hours. I was informed my mother was going to be arrested when all was said and done. I was also informed that the case worker needed to come visit my home and have a safety meeting there with the children, Mike and I. It was scheduled for August 12th, 2013. I left that meeting there leaning on the strength of God.

August 9, 2013: Mike made it back home VERY early in the morning. However, it was quite obvious he would have rather been back in Florida. I enrolled Michael, Marissa, Marie and Delilah into school. My mother was officially arrested and in the process signed a statement saying I knew everything that she had been doing concerning the punishment of my children. I learned about this via a voice mail left on my phone letting me know the investigation was still ongoing and now I was also being focused on for neglect of my dependents.


August 11, 2013: After getting the house in order for the safety inspection, we headed off to Ohio to participate in Faith Day with the Cincinnati Reds and Mercy Me. We had an extra ticket due to Tia still being incarcerated so I brought along a sister in Christ, who witnessed first hand the old Mike. It crushed my heart to witness it myself. I recognized the complete change of heart in him even before she commented on it herself. Not many have seen this Mike in action and those that have always look at me in amazement. Like I said, I have wanted to be loved for so long, I show a ton of grace just to prove what I read about me wrong. (Much of this is in the blog post 'Better off With God')

August 12, 2013: My caseworker called and rescheduled the appointment to August 19, 2013 due to her own illness.

August 14, 2013: The Fantastic Four headed off for their first day of school and I returned to work with my 3 year old at my side. He works with me every day now.

August 18, 2013: I shared at church what I was going through and requested prayers for myself and my family.

August 19, 2013: The caseworker came to my house to interview my children. She was there for an hour and a half. I learned even more about things that had happened under my mothers care. In the end the caseworker said she was not going to substantiate charges against me for neglect but due to the severity of my case, she would have to have that decision confirmed by her superior and the district superior. Five minutes after our meeting ended, it was verified that Tia was being released from custody.

August 23, 2013: The school children rode the bus to school for the first time this year. Because of our late enrollment a bus stop had not been created for them. I praised God for the timing. Mike had scheduled the family car  to be dropped off for a new front control arm and wheel bearing on the driver side. It was supposed to be finished before the end of the day. This did not happen. Imagine a weekend with more children than will fit in one car. Let's just say Sunday morning we drove the house and the jeep to church

August 26, 2013: I injured myself playing with Jeffrey Thomas. I had picked him up and he managed somehow to shove off of me pulling my shoulder out of place.

August 27, 2013: I awoke to not only arm pain, but neck pain. I scheduled an emergency chiropractor appointment and went in to get my shoulder put back in place and realized just what a mess I was. My neck had muscle spasms galore. He managed to make a little headway. I was still in pain.

August 28, 2013: It was becoming undeniable Mike's heart was in Florida. I awoke to pain. It felt like my neck bone was bruised and my arm was on fire like my muscles had been torn.

August 29, 2013: I had come home to find Mike in a mood after bible study and I had had it. In a fit of righteous anger, I got on my knees and prayed, "Dear Lord, either Convict Mike or Remove him from my life. In Jesus name I pray. Amen."

August 30, 2013: I found my Great Banquet Cross Necklace in the process of helping Mike find a sweater. I also had an add for an apartment complex flip on my desk and decided to take it as a sign. I called and reserved myself a 3 bedroom apartment. They thought one would open up in either December or January.  Department of children called to say they were filing their official report and only needed to hear from Mike before they signed off. He of course had left his phone at home but when he got in he called. No one was answering the phones so he left a voice mail saying in a gist, I was told to call, this is my call. As far as I know they never called him again. By nightfall I was in a lot of pain. Typing had not helped my back / shoulder / neck muscles. Mike told me I needed to tighten up.

August 31, 2013: I took the children to play McDonalds and then to the water park. Mike took his defensive driving course. I was waiting for him to finish thinking he'd call me and we'd go have an early dinner together and then I would do laundry. Instead, he sent me a text and took himself out to Broadripple to eat lunch by himself. I was miffed to say the least. The children and I went out to eat alone. Mike called while we were out and informed me he was finally on his way home. The plan was for me to drop off the children and go do laundry by myself. I ended up doing laundry with all the children. I was in immense pain by the time I got home. Mike had promised me a massage when I sent him a text letting him know I was on my way, but ended up yelling at me over some essential oils and the fact that I was not interested in experimenting with them until I took my class with the friend that had introduced the company to me. After that I shared with Mike exactly where I stood.

September 1, 2013: Mike was in one of his moods and decided he was not going to go to church with us. We went without him and then went to the annual cookout with a very good friend of mine. Mike checked on us once around 6pm. I'm sure his only reason for calling was just to get a feel for when I might be home. Amazingly enough my neck began to feel better as the day progressed. The day before it hurt just to hold my head up!

September 2, 2013: The big blow up happened. I left Mike. I was homeless and without transportation due to a broken down car that was running fine just prior to the blow up. This is again another long story and all in my blog.

September 3, 2013: I had my car towed into the mechanic and received the news of what was wrong. (Long story and yes, in the blog.)

September 4, 2013: Mike decided he was going to leave the house with me and move to Florida on Friday. My car was fixed at an amazing low low price. (I also blogged on these blessings)

September 6, 2013: Mike said goodbye when he collected his last paycheck and packed up his Jeep, hooked up his trailer and loaded up his jet ski. He went out to where the rest of our stuff was to finish loading the rest of his belongings, including his motorcycle.

September 7, 2013: Mike went to the Chicago Cubs game with his mother.

September 8, 2013: Somehow Mike had discovered we were at the hotel and he along with his mother showed up after midnight at the hotel I was staying at for the night and surprised everyone at breakfast. He gave me $150 to cover child support for the week. He promised to send me a letter with money every week. He informed me he'd be back in January to ask me to marry him and we parted ways. Me, off to church and him off to Florida. After church I took the children to the store and we bought a wading pool with a slide, a slippy slide that ended in another wading pool, a little air compressor and a 75' foot no kink hose like the one that had burned in the fire pit four years prior. Who'd think a simple hose could cause so many emotions! I think greater understanding regarding why a hose could cause one to cry can be found in the blog "Saved by an Army of Angels". After we set up the pools, I went inside the house and rearranged the furniture and closets.

September 9, 2013: My first day at work knowing I will not be seeing Mike walk through my door anytime soon. I am filled with peace and great sadness all at the same time.

I am here to tell you, this last month would have left someone without belief in shambles. Destroyed. It is my shield of faith, my helmet of salvation, and very much so, prayer that kept me standing. If you don't recognize these articles of clothing, I highly recommend you check out the book of Ephesians!

So, I was looking at my phone the other day, and I was going to delete all my texts back and forth with Mike. I cracked up when I read the oldest text I had sent him. This one from August 4th. I had sent it to him in hopes that he would give me a call. If you have read my blog post 'Suckerpunched' you know about much of this, but I neglected to share the text I had sent him in hopes of getting him to call me before the one I sent asking if he was going to call soon as I was getting ready for bed. I sent it with this picture of the children. I laughed so hard because it happened to be in a somewhat of a poetic form. Cracks me up to see myself in the rear view mirror. Turns out, with Jesus as my guide, I'm turning out to be pretty funny! Here is the picture and text I sent him:


School starts weds.
They got new doos
and new shoes 
and an outfit our two.
Would have gotten a little more
but the police called me while I was in the store. . . 
You could say it's been a fun day
all but you missing and Tia hauled away. 
Seems she ran away from her dad. 
He called the cops on her ... yelp pretty bad.

My point here is simply this. Life happens. Some of it is awesome but a lot of it is filled with the chaos of this world. God does not long for you to focus on all of that junk. He wants you to focus on Him. Read His word. It is full of advice and warnings. Arm yourself. You are in a spiritual battle. Good and evil exist. Within yourself, if you are a believer, you will hear the voice of righteousness guiding you and convicting you when you drift from the narrow road. If you are not a believer, I pray you are simply lost or misinformed, my prayer for you is that you find your way home. To all believers who are being fed the lie that you are no longer worthy of grace or mercy, those of you who believe you have gone to far to ever come back home, read my story. I highly doubt you could be any worse of a sinner than I was. Sin is sin. Today I am a holy redeemed saint. I am a light of hope for others. I am doing my Father's will. He called me to share my life, my story with all who care to read it. I am inspired by much of what I have written and I lived it all! Please, if you are down and depressed or filled with worry, I encourage you to go back to my first post and read my story. I add to it monthly. I think perhaps with less chaos in my life, I will begin to add to it more and more often. There is still so much left to share. May God bless you.

Father, today I come to you with such joy. How clever you are. How blessed I am. Never in a million years could I have put together all you have sown in my life. Thank you for loving me so. In the midst of this brutal storm I felt you by my side. Thank you so much for the artists that sing your praises for the lyrics helped to encourage me through my tears. Songs like, "Whom Shall I Fear" and "Overcomer" just to name two of them! Thank you also for allowing me to see an angel as a child. Thank you for her message. I have clung to that truth more times than you know. Ha as if you don't know! Silly me. I love you Father. Please use me however you like. I am forever your loving daughter, your humble servant. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Here is the song I was led to share with this post. Pretty awesome. I am a lyric girl so of course they are included with this video! Enjoy!


Wendy, walks with God, mom of many

© Wendy Glidden 2013





Saturday, September 7, 2013

Better Off With God!

Super Silly Sing Song Saturday. I have been listening to a lot of songs today. I drove around aimlessly as I waited for my hotel room to open up for the night. Mike and his mom went to Chicago to watch a Cubs game so I know they will be coming through Indiana again to grab his jeep on the way back to Florida.

It breaks my heart that he is going to truly be removed from my life. I know it was the second part of my prayer to have him removed should he not be open to becoming a man after God's heart, but seeing him so at peace about leaving me and his children behind and going on with his life hurts so badly it is all I can do to not fall apart.

In the process of singing with the songs on K-Love earlier, as tears streamed down my face off and on, I heard the greatest song. It is by Sanctus Real. Here is the link to the you tube video I managed to find of it.


I decided to get a hotel room tonight so I could have a place to crash on a real bed and honestly so I could also have a place to lay down where I can finally cry my eyes out. I am human after all. I devoted almost 10 years of my life to loving this man that I once fooled myself into thinking was mine. I watch our children play and I just don't get how he couldn't love our life. It is painful to say the least. I would love to go home and sleep in my own bed, but I am afraid to stay at our home until I know he is not going to be coming back for good. I need to stay strong. He called me last night and asked if I would come spend the night with him. I told him no. I have had countless people come forward and comment how light cannot be with dark. I had several women friends share with me that they knew I was not supposed to be with Mike but mentioned they could not tell me for that type of truth one has to discover for themselves for it to be truly received. Deep inside I have known it for a while. I am stubborn. I thought with enough prayer God would intervene. Sadly there is this crazy thing God granted us with. Free Will. Mike has his own free will and it currently has no desire to listen to God's word.

I have also received messages praising me for my faith. Please know I am just a girl after God's heart. The more I learned about His Word, the more I longed to follow Jesus, the more my eyes were opened to the life I was living with Mike. It was out of a righteous anger that I spouted off my prayer late Thursday night before I went to bed. My grandma always told me, "Be careful what you ask for, you just may get it." Boy did I ever get it. I know this is right. I belong to Christ. I am His. Like this song explains, "Whatever You're doing inside of me, It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace." I would type all the words within this blog for they all hit so right on. It's as close as I can put my feelings into words. I don't think I have ever heard this song before today. I was surprised to see it was uploaded onto YouTube three years ago. 

I am ready for God to open up my world. There is a peace in knowing that Mike is not going to show up with his negativity. In the same breath my heart lurches for I know I will not be with Mike again and that fact hits my heart with such a force it takes my very breath away. How can it hurt so bad to know he will move on as if I never mattered. I guess that is my flesh. For my heart tells me in closing this door I am about to have my world open up in ways only the deepest recesses of my heart have been allowed to desire. I have always longed to be a servant of the Lord. I have always wanted to enhance the lives of others. I have always longed to be a ray of sunshine in the dark corners of the world for others to see. God must know this about me for it says he knows all of your heart. If it is true that the righteous will have the desires of their hearts I can only imagine how blessed my life is about to become. Better than anything I could have ever dreamed up. That is what I am trying to keep my focus on. Peace, Hope, Faith, Joy and Love. 

I had this back flash hit me yesterday as I was in the office. It was a memory from two decades ago of me reading a very detailed horoscope book. In a gist my horoscope claimed I would be better off alone as I was difficult to please, love and live with. It claimed I demanded too much out of a partner and few would be able to withstand me. It recommended I stay alone and never marry!

I realized yesterday that there was truth to what that book claimed but there was also a very big lie with it. This book was put together without God's word. It is another reason one should not dally in such things. The lies stick with you for decades. You see, I have come to understand that I may be difficult for those who are separated from God to love but those that live in his truth will always find me lovable enough. The sad thing is there are less and less men interested in being followers of Christ. The majority that are, are already taken. I feel I will be without a human partner for the rest of my life and I am okay with that now. I have given my life to Christ. I belong to him. He is sufficient. He loves me the way I deserve to be loved. The way I have longed to be loved all this time. I have spent so many wasted years showing man after man after man the love I have to offer only to have it be unappreciated almost as if it were unseen. I know with my desire to be loved, I have gone to lengths other partners would refuse to. I felt I had to, being so unlovable. I spent countless years of my life wondering what it was about me that made me so unlovable. Now I know, it is not me, it is the broken empty men that have been thrown into my path to keep me from fulfilling my purpose. My fellow brothers and sisters in Christ love me. God loves me. Jesus loves me. That will have to suffice for I have no desire to devote another minute to another male partner that needs a ray of hope. I will forever show them the love of Christ but nothing more. I will not be snared in a trap again. I will not be waylayed from God's promises ever again. My horoscope may have claimed I was better off alone but today I know I am better off with God!

Father, I do feel as if a tornado is whipping around inside of me. How is it possible to be at peace and feel like my heart is being crushed in the same breath. It is absolute chaos and I ask you to remove the pain. Take away this ache for I know it is aching for what never was. It is aching over the loss of time. It is aching due to being fooled for I have been a most foolish girl thinking I could fill the hole in my heart with a man. Only you can give me my hearts desires of my heart. I am tired of keeping busy trying to keep a man. Fill my life so full of your work that I have no desire to be sidetracked. Keep my focus on you Lord. Keep my hands busy and fill my life with work. Use me for what you created me for. I am ready Father. I am your humble servant. Prepare me for all you have for me. Reveal it. Put me to it. Please do not allow me to be idle. Thank you for removing the obstacles that satan has attempted to use to steal my joy, kill my dreams and destroy my purpose. Thank you for always having me. Thank you for my beautiful babies. I am so sorry I stumbled in my faith and did not accept three of those blessings. I have often wondered would I already have been fulfilling my purpose had I just trusted in you all along. Thank you Father for never giving up on me like I gave up on you. I wish I had known about your word in my younger years. I am blessed to have been enlightened now. Thank you for not allowing me to continue to wander in the dark. While I hurt today, I trust it will not last long. I love you Father. Thank you. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Wendy, walks with God
Mom of Many 

© Wendy Glidden 2013