Dashing Deals

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

If You LOVE Someone YOU MUST be WILLING to LET Them Go!

I joke around with keeping things simple in my forties for fear I may lose my mind as I get older! Memories get dusty when we don't look at them for decades. This was the case for me when it came to Danny Joe. It was on my 41st Birthday that God convicted me and it was due to Danny. I was forced to dive deep and recall things I had stuffed away and pretended were non-existent. I apologize for the hazy recall . . . I have come to believe since there is still a little haze around the fine details that those are NOT the most important and I finally moved beyond them to the main gist of my story.

Something happened before the 8th grade. I don't know if it was that he was going to go live with his mom because his dad and him were not getting along. It's just the last time I saw him until the next time I saw him again, this is what I said to myself as I walked home, "When you LOVE someone you MUST be willing to Let Them Go. If they LOVE YOU they will return and that is when you will know they are truly yours." As I read that to myself I know in my heart those words came from God.

It was okay I assured myself. This next school year was going to be so full I wouldn't have time to just hang with Danny Joe after school anyway. I was going to be on the basketball team again. I REALLY wanted to win "The Best Christian Award" that they had held out like a golden carrot to all of us in the 7th grade so NOT being focused on my friendship that had soared to great heights would be a good thing. Danny Joe had taught me how to kiss over the summer and I never felt so loved in all my life as I did in his arms. I can still see him smiling down upon me. The Loss of him, of the friendship we had, makes my heart hurt something awful. It swells so big inside of me I fear it may explode right in my chest. He WAS my Best Friend. He was for all time my best Loving relationship with the opposite sex. Danny Joe never pushed for more than holding my hand and kissing me. He honored my wishes. I Loved him all the more for it.

So, here I was in the 8th grade at a private catholic school going for "The Best Christian Award". The irony makes me laugh today. Why didn't they call it "The Best Catholic Award"? I studied hard. I impressed my teachers. With my teammates we were having an incredible basketball season. I even received a handshake from the coach of the another team! He told me he had never seen a girl play ball like me! I did after all have a brother that played basketball who I practiced with. My brother was pretty amazing with that ball!  I was elected to be on the committee that was going to write who we were all going to become when we grew up. Hands down everyone knew I was going to be a famous writer. I talked in Rhyme all the time . . . you could say I was a female version of Dr. Seuss only I did not make up silly words to rhyme, I told complete stories in rhyme. You can always tell when I am in tune with the Holy Spirit. If I'm not writing and rhyming something is wrong! At this time in my life I was completely focused!

It was in the spring of that school year when a couple of boys on bikes were racing around our school. Like school kids we all rushed to the window to see what the racket was all about . . . one of the boys was yelling, "I've come back for you! Do you see? I've come back for you!" I knew that voice! It was Danny Joe! How I kept my feet on the floor when my heart was soaring so high is beyond me. Danny Joe loved me. He had come back! I shot off a quick prayer for his safety . . . it was announced that we needed to get back into our seats they were sending someone out to grab the trouble makers! I was elated and worried at the same time. Getting over to see him was not going to happen today. I had a basketball game after school and it would be dark before I got home. I prayed that Danny would understand when I didn't show up after school. It wasn't like he had my phone number to call. I was not allowed to give it out. My mom was only allowed 25 calls a month due to her phone plan. I was allowed none! I assured myself he would know in his heart I wanted to be with him. How could he NOT know how much I loved him. I did not get over to his side of Keystone until the weekend. When I went by his house no one was home. I hung around the neighborhood just walking where we used to walk with each other and that is when I met Debbie. We only knew each other for a few short weeks before school let out. When opportunity struck over the next 6 weeks I crossed under Keystone Avenue and hung out with her always secretly hoping I'd run into Danny Joe. It never happened that summer.

The school year was finally at a close. My brother had been shipped off to live with my father in the last couple of months of the school year due to being kicked out of school . . . or the massive threat of that happening. I was so excited. A whole summer with Danny Joe and no brother following me everywhere I went. At my graduation I won so many awards it was crazy. Amazing what you can accomplish when you are focused! I also won the one award I was going for. "The Best Christian Award " was mine! Who knew it also came with a $35? Bonus!!

When I went over to meet Debbie that day Danny Joe was still nowhere to be found but the weekend was coming and I just knew he'd be at his dad's. With Debbie's ingenious help we formed a plan for me to be able to stay the weekend together without either of us being accountable to our parents! I knew it was wrong, purposely deceiving my mother. It was the only sin I had to offer at confession for the last couple of years! Regardless, lie we did. I asked my mom if I could spend the night at Debbie's house and she asked her mom if she could spend the night with me. Not the greatest plan in the world. I took my $35 with me and Debbie and I convinced an adult to purchase us two little bottles of Canadian Mist and a six pack of beer. I had never drank before then but Debbie assured me it was the best! We hung out with friends, played some kind of ball game in the street. I'm a little fuzzy on how the whole drinking thing got started. The beer was nasty. Debbie assured me I wouldn't even notice the taste once I'd had a little Jack. I took a sip. "OH! Nastier!" I exclaimed. I don't know who's idea it was for us to race each other by drinking our bottle in one attempt but we did. We were so drunk that night I don't know how I lived through it. By 5 am we were ready to crash. No way could we go to my house. Debbie said her mom would never notice when we came in so we went there. I was worried her mom would smell the alcohol on our breath. I knew that smell came from your stomach and not your mouth so we ate an entire box of Oreo cookies as well as a little mouthwash and toothpaste. I promise you it was NOT easy on the stomach! We checked out each others breath and we were sure we'd never be discovered. We went to lay down. I don't know how long we were asleep when Debbie's mother came into her room and informed us that the neighbor had busted us. In a gist she had called my mom. The game was up. Debbie's mom dropped me off at my house. She apologized to my mom informing her that she was sure it was Debbie who had been the leader. I wasn't that worried until my mother informed me that my father was on his way to come get me. She was sending me to live with him for good. I couldn't believe it. One mistake and I'm gone I thought? My brother pulled stunts like this time and time again before she sent him off! Things were just about to change dramatically in my world. My sifting was about to begin!

I must get ready for my day ahead. Can you believe I was woken up at 5:00 am this morning. . . I laid awake for 30 minutes praying to God for direction and that is when the title of this chapter came to me. I had and have had no idea how and what I was going to write about next . . . how I was to proceed and again here I am at the end of another chapter of my life! I hope I am not boring you with the details I think it's important for you to know I'm no better and no worse than anyone. I too have been stumbling through this thing we call life. It is my job to help you see the Glory of God. If I accomplish that I will have fulfilled my purpose and nothing in the world could be better than that!

Wendy, Mom of Many!
Post a Comment