Stretching, Shrinking, Growing, Thinking ~ Are You Ready to be Renewed?

Marvelously Magnificent Miraculous Monday. Mike Lincoln has come under the realization that he is madly in love with me. He is speaking a language I have never before heard him utter before. I know he is being stretched. I know he is growing. He is in the process of waking up, of allowing himself to be convicted and my heart soars because of it. God is AMAZING in how he works. During our separation we have both begun changing. God will never work on just one of you. No if you think it is all your partner, probably better take a deeper look into that mirror. Just being honest. Not one of us is perfect. I think that's the whole reason Jesus said, "Let he who has not sinned cast the first stone." I'm sure it's where the saying, "Those that live in glass houses should not throw stones.", came from. It is what it is. I'm happy I don't have to pretend to the world that I am perfect. Wow. What a prison that would be!!  This brings me to K-Loves encouraging word of the day: 

I will walk in freedom, for I have devoted myself to your commandments. ~ Psalm 119:45, NLT

Freedom. My father always quotes Janice Joplin and says, "Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose." There is a ton of truth in that. When you become a follower of Christ there is nothing you can lose. You have salvation. True freedom that never goes away. I am a follower of Christ. I am blessed beyond measure for I was shown the truth. You see just like gaining or losing weight, it doesn't happen over night. Oh we all want it. Instant success, instant understanding, instant solutions. Life just doesn't work that way. I do know this though it all begins with a renewing of something. To lose weight it begins with a new diet and exercise routine and when it comes to following the Lord, well, that begins with a renewing of ones mind. Which I truly think stems from a desperate call from the heart for change. At least that is how it worked for me. When my heart truly longed for a relationship with the Lord, when I banged on that door and said, please, help, your will not mine, I don't have a clue how I will do this but I do know if I'm going to do it, I'm going to need your help, well, He spoke to me. He told me to get off my knees and then shared a few things with me. You could say that was a pivotal moment in my life. After that he worked on my faith a little further by stretching me through a house fire that by all rights I should have died in. You'd think that would totally wake a person up to God's love and grace and mercy but no. I was still thinking I was unworthy. Next I was on my knees praying again and again and again over my relationship with Mike and God sent a human messenger to me. That honestly rocked my world. I was in awe of what had happened and I shared this story with all who would listen, but I myself still did not understand salvation, grace or any of that. I was beginning to search for it though. A renewing in me had begun. It was through finding Moody radio and then through the death of my first love, finding fellowship and studying the word that the renewing has continued. Speaking of Moody radio, finding that station is a story all in itself. I must tell it soon. I have so much work to do. So much to share. Stories about wisdom being bestowed upon me through prayer, and so much more.

This Sunday our talk was on finding your passion. Mine is for sure my love for the Lord. He called me forth to tell my story and I have been sidetracked and am now committed to getting back to it this week. I am ready to 'bust a move' where my writing is concerned. 

I started this blog out by saying that God works on both partners when He is asked for help involving a marriage He was asked to bless in the beginning. He has stretched Mike and He also is stretching me as well as helping me shrink. My grandma always warned me be careful what you pray for, you just might get it. With Mike being removed, which my prayer was, 'convict this man or remove him from me.' I needed to focus my pent up energy on something. What better something than exercise. After all, I had also prayed for God to give my health back to me which included my body before my twelve pregnancies. Through fasting due to what I went through this summer with my mother and my children, as well as the turmoil I was in over Mike and I separating after almost ten years, I was prepped for diet and exercise. So, I began a diet and a workout on September 15th, Tomorrow is my thirty day mark but for fun, I am going to share my results after just 29 days of renewing my body with both better nutrition and a devoted workout. I must admit, I have not paid one bit of attention to the scale. I believe the evil one likes to use this evil device to torment you, so I avoid it. Instead, I pay attention to what I see in the mirror and I take measurements. Something you can truly track progress with. I am thrilled to announce that in twenty nine days, I have lost the following:

4 full inches off my chest!
1 1/2 inches off each arm!!
5 1/2 inches off my waist!!!
5 full inches off my hips!!!!
3 full inches off each thigh!!!!!

That is a total of 23 1/2 inches in the major places. We all know you shrink around these zones as well. I still have two full weeks of this diet and exercise before I hit my six week commitment mark. The only thing I'm changing is busting a move with a little more umph for my endurance, strength and determination have grown massively over these first four weeks. It is amazing what you can change in a mere 30 days if you truly decide to 'renew yourself'. 

My challenge to you, start with your mind. It is the most powerful part of your human side. It is the place that Satan attacks so put on your fighting gear and join my army. I'll help you in every way I can by sharing what the spirit leads me to share. I will fully reveal my wellness secrets and anyone wanting to truly know exactly what I have done to rock this diet of mine, send me a message. I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to help you get results like mine. I Love my Life. God truly set me free and He is wanting to do the same for you. All that you need to do is start out by giving Him 30 days. That's it, 30 days. If you're up to it, write me and let's do this together!!

Father, today I come before you with laughter and praise you are so Amazing. I love you. I giggle like a child over how you are changing me. No wonder you sent a lovely angel to tell me I am beautiful! I am beginning to see what you see and I want nothing more than to resemble to the world how you see me. Let me be a mighty light Lord. Help me shine to the darkest corners. Let my story be heard. Let others see your Glory. Oh it is so breathtaking my Lord. Thank you for allowing me to see what life is without Mike. I truly love him Father. Thank you for not allowing me to be deceived from this truth. Through our separation we have become wonderful friends again and for the first time since I fell on that ledge Father, I feel Mike's love for me. Thank you for working on him and stretching him. Thank you for our time apart where you have stretched and strengthened both of us in the ways we each needed work on. How do you do it Father? Oh to know your ways. To be able to implement them. Thank you for all my blessings, so numerous I don't know where to begin in thanking you for them. You know my heart father. I love that. I truly do. Please lift all my lost brothers and sisters Father. Send them your hand and foot servants to touch their hearts and open their eyes. Allow me to serve you in greater ways Father and help me with time management. I have so many more God stories I must get to sharing. Help me be more efficient. I love you in Jesus name I pray. Amen.

** Footnotes: Previous blogs that are touched on in this post:
(1)  Face to Face with an Angel (being told I was beautiful by a true angel) 
(2)  Saved by an Army of Angels (The house fire I should have died in)
(3)  On my Knees (Praying over a pregnancy I was not ready for)
(4)  Show me a Sign ( Praying about Mike and I where I received the message from God from another believer) 
(5) Unpacking Treasure, show me a sign Part II ( The believers letter to me almost a year later ) 

Wendy, walks with God,
Mom of Many


© Wendy Glidden 2013

If You LOVE Someone YOU MUST be WILLING to LET Them Go!

I joke around with keeping things simple in my forties for fear I may lose my mind as I get older! Memories get dusty when we don't look at them for decades. This was the case for me when it came to Danny Joe. It was on my 41st Birthday that God convicted me and it was due to Danny. I was forced to dive deep and recall things I had stuffed away and pretended were non-existent. I apologize for the hazy recall . . . I have come to believe since there is still a little haze around the fine details that those are NOT the most important and I finally moved beyond them to the main gist of my story.

Something happened before the 8th grade. I don't know if it was that he was going to go live with his mom because his dad and him were not getting along. It's just the last time I saw him until the next time I saw him again, this is what I said to myself as I walked home, "When you LOVE someone you MUST be willing to Let Them Go. If they LOVE YOU they will return and that is when you will know they are truly yours." As I read that to myself I know in my heart those words came from God.

It was okay I assured myself. This next school year was going to be so full I wouldn't have time to just hang with Danny Joe after school anyway. I was going to be on the basketball team again. I REALLY wanted to win "The Best Christian Award" that they had held out like a golden carrot to all of us in the 7th grade so NOT being focused on my friendship that had soared to great heights would be a good thing. Danny Joe had taught me how to kiss over the summer and I never felt so loved in all my life as I did in his arms. I can still see him smiling down upon me. The Loss of him, of the friendship we had, makes my heart hurt something awful. It swells so big inside of me I fear it may explode right in my chest. He WAS my Best Friend. He was for all time my best Loving relationship with the opposite sex. Danny Joe never pushed for more than holding my hand and kissing me. He honored my wishes. I Loved him all the more for it.

So, here I was in the 8th grade at a private catholic school going for "The Best Christian Award". The irony makes me laugh today. Why didn't they call it "The Best Catholic Award"? I studied hard. I impressed my teachers. With my teammates we were having an incredible basketball season. I even received a handshake from the coach of the another team! He told me he had never seen a girl play ball like me! I did after all have a brother that played basketball who I practiced with. My brother was pretty amazing with that ball!  I was elected to be on the committee that was going to write who we were all going to become when we grew up. Hands down everyone knew I was going to be a famous writer. I talked in Rhyme all the time . . . you could say I was a female version of Dr. Seuss only I did not make up silly words to rhyme, I told complete stories in rhyme. You can always tell when I am in tune with the Holy Spirit. If I'm not writing and rhyming something is wrong! At this time in my life I was completely focused!

It was in the spring of that school year when a couple of boys on bikes were racing around our school. Like school kids we all rushed to the window to see what the racket was all about . . . one of the boys was yelling, "I've come back for you! Do you see? I've come back for you!" I knew that voice! It was Danny Joe! How I kept my feet on the floor when my heart was soaring so high is beyond me. Danny Joe loved me. He had come back! I shot off a quick prayer for his safety . . . it was announced that we needed to get back into our seats they were sending someone out to grab the trouble makers! I was elated and worried at the same time. Getting over to see him was not going to happen today. I had a basketball game after school and it would be dark before I got home. I prayed that Danny would understand when I didn't show up after school. It wasn't like he had my phone number to call. I was not allowed to give it out. My mom was only allowed 25 calls a month due to her phone plan. I was allowed none! I assured myself he would know in his heart I wanted to be with him. How could he NOT know how much I loved him. I did not get over to his side of Keystone until the weekend. When I went by his house no one was home. I hung around the neighborhood just walking where we used to walk with each other and that is when I met Debbie. We only knew each other for a few short weeks before school let out. When opportunity struck over the next 6 weeks I crossed under Keystone Avenue and hung out with her always secretly hoping I'd run into Danny Joe. It never happened that summer.

The school year was finally at a close. My brother had been shipped off to live with my father in the last couple of months of the school year due to being kicked out of school . . . or the massive threat of that happening. I was so excited. A whole summer with Danny Joe and no brother following me everywhere I went. At my graduation I won so many awards it was crazy. Amazing what you can accomplish when you are focused! I also won the one award I was going for. "The Best Christian Award " was mine! Who knew it also came with a $35? Bonus!!

When I went over to meet Debbie that day Danny Joe was still nowhere to be found but the weekend was coming and I just knew he'd be at his dad's. With Debbie's ingenious help we formed a plan for me to be able to stay the weekend together without either of us being accountable to our parents! I knew it was wrong, purposely deceiving my mother. It was the only sin I had to offer at confession for the last couple of years! Regardless, lie we did. I asked my mom if I could spend the night at Debbie's house and she asked her mom if she could spend the night with me. Not the greatest plan in the world. I took my $35 with me and Debbie and I convinced an adult to purchase us two little bottles of Canadian Mist and a six pack of beer. I had never drank before then but Debbie assured me it was the best! We hung out with friends, played some kind of ball game in the street. I'm a little fuzzy on how the whole drinking thing got started. The beer was nasty. Debbie assured me I wouldn't even notice the taste once I'd had a little Jack. I took a sip. "OH! Nastier!" I exclaimed. I don't know who's idea it was for us to race each other by drinking our bottle in one attempt but we did. We were so drunk that night I don't know how I lived through it. By 5 am we were ready to crash. No way could we go to my house. Debbie said her mom would never notice when we came in so we went there. I was worried her mom would smell the alcohol on our breath. I knew that smell came from your stomach and not your mouth so we ate an entire box of Oreo cookies as well as a little mouthwash and toothpaste. I promise you it was NOT easy on the stomach! We checked out each others breath and we were sure we'd never be discovered. We went to lay down. I don't know how long we were asleep when Debbie's mother came into her room and informed us that the neighbor had busted us. In a gist she had called my mom. The game was up. Debbie's mom dropped me off at my house. She apologized to my mom informing her that she was sure it was Debbie who had been the leader. I wasn't that worried until my mother informed me that my father was on his way to come get me. She was sending me to live with him for good. I couldn't believe it. One mistake and I'm gone I thought? My brother pulled stunts like this time and time again before she sent him off! Things were just about to change dramatically in my world. My sifting was about to begin!

I must get ready for my day ahead. Can you believe I was woken up at 5:00 am this morning. . . I laid awake for 30 minutes praying to God for direction and that is when the title of this chapter came to me. I had and have had no idea how and what I was going to write about next . . . how I was to proceed and again here I am at the end of another chapter of my life! I hope I am not boring you with the details I think it's important for you to know I'm no better and no worse than anyone. I too have been stumbling through this thing we call life. It is my job to help you see the Glory of God. If I accomplish that I will have fulfilled my purpose and nothing in the world could be better than that!

Wendy, Mom of Many!

The Boy and My Plan to Outwit God!

Dec 7th, 2012 . . . More of my Journey!

It was the summer of my 12^th year when I decided that maybe God did NOT have the best plan when it came to Me and My Life. I really had no desire to be a mother. Just that year my mother had said some hurtful things to me and while she had apologized to me for them it was my fear that I would do the same thing to my children. My mom had me when she was 16 years old. She conceived me when she was only 15! She did the best by my brother and me as she could. Funny enough she is my biggest champion now and I don’t know how I’d get along without her. Just goes to prove to you that we all live through seasons!

So I was beginning to question WHY I had to be a mother to many. I did not want children at all in this moment of my life. I now had a baby sister who was 2 and babies while cute were a lot of work! I did not know if I had it in me to be a good mom. If I couldn’t be a good mom I didn’t want to be a mom at all! My daily talks with God had become more of questioning . . . bargaining sessions. I needed answers and I felt like there was no better place at the time to get those answers than a church. Funny isn't it? There were quite a few around where I lived and one day on our way to biking to the Rivi Club I saw one that had a sign out front advertising a youth group. I told my brother the pool could wait. I wanted to check out this youth group.  We rode up into the parking lot and came face to face with a group of three boys on their bikes. The leader of the group of course was the only one brave enough to actually speak . . . the others just giggled at what he said.

“You can’t go inside.” He informed me, “This group is not for you.” His crew chuckled.

Well obviously he did not know who he was messing with! “I looked at him and said and who are you to tell me I cannot go into Gods house?” I was not frightened.

Just then the leader came outside.  I chuckle to this day for I think she was surprised to see 5 of us there outside the door sitting on our bikes.  She informed us that we could come inside. I parked my bike, looked over my shoulder and stuck my tongue out at the “boy” who obviously did not have that much power after all! Before the study was over I knew his name and he knew mine and I must admit I was enamored with his green eyes, dark brown incredibly curly hair and the gap in his front teeth.  When we were dismissed we all went back out to our bikes. I don’t think Danny Joe’s friends were too happy at all when he asked if my brother and I’d like to hang out with him and his friends. I on the other hand felt my heart pull . . . I was becoming quite smitten on this boy and it was more than obvious that he was feeling something for me. We walked and talked all day long. My brother and I had to be home at a certain time and I was not into getting into trouble . . . yet. So, home we had to go. My brother liked Danny Joe so agreeing to come back the next day was no issue.

That night while I was floating on a cloud I also had my looming future ahead. That is when I became a genius! I reasoned there was only 1 Mary. With that in mind as long as I refrained from sex I would not have a baby at a young age. Resolved in my decision, my plan was formed . . . keeping it safely guarded from God, I would have to let Danny Joe know everything. I needed him to agree to my proposal or I could never see him again.

I have to stop now. Reliving all of this is not going to be fun or easy but it is most necessary. I will continue late tonight after my children are asleep. I hope that you realize I am human. Through the chapters of my life . . . as I share those with you . . . try to stay away from judging me. It is in my own judging of others and their choices that I have landed in some of the hottest water!

Wendy, Mom of Many