My grandma gave me a book for my birthday somewhere around age 27 give or take a year or two. On the inside of the book, she had written a message to me. “May you learn to live before you die, Love, Grandma Rosie.”
I cannot remember for the life of me what the book was, but I never forgot her words.
This morning I awoke and wondered what God had in store for me. Since my computer is down, I found my so called smart phone and opened my email account and searched for K-loves encouraging word of the day. When I opened it up, I read this;
Your laws are always right; help me to understand them so I may live. ~ Psalm 119:144, NLT
When I read that, so many things flashed into me all at once. This is how I am led to write what I write. These flashes of insight are why even when I begin to doubt that this is my path, I remember the conversations God and I had about me writing one day and I know to my very core, this is what I am meant to do. I am a ghost writer for the greatest writer of all. He communicates things and ideas to me via the flashes and talking thoughts. It is my honor to share all he shares with me. I am blessed in doing so. I am humbled to be given such a task.
My wit, my patience, my kindness, my heart, everything that is good about me is due to Him in me. I absolutely love who I am in Him. When I walk on my own, things don’t often turn out quite so well. This is most obvious when you read my life story.
So back to the inscription my grandmother had written me. When I read it I was like; what? Live before I die? I’m living now. What does she mean?
I did not ask her outright that day. Instead, I pondered it over the years though. As I look back over my life and many of the things my grandmother has said to me I am sure that she was moved by the spirit to say them. I believe this to be the case because they have been one liners and they have been deep. Short, sweet and full of meaning. Often the spirit talks to me directly in such a fashion.
When I read that encouraging word, one of the things that flashed to me is that sin is death. When we chose to live outside of Gods laws, we often find ourselves deep in some kind of trouble that was brought on by our own doing. This kind of living is not living at all, it is simply surviving. Sure we are alive. We are breathing, moving, working or whatever but in all honesty we are not living at all.
We allow our actions to hold us in bondage. You see, it does not always feel good to walk outside of Gods laws. If you got real truthful with yourself, much of what you are doing when you are living outside of the law, does not make you proud. Meaning it is something you don’t want the entire world to know about. This is something the evil one relishes. As soon as you yourself are not proud of what you are doing, as soon as you begin to avoid certain people or places for fear others may see you ‘in the moment’, the devil has all he needs to begin shaming you into silence.
So, when King David says help me understand your laws so I may live, this is what he was talking about.
When you are on top of the world, doing what is right in all ways, you can stand proudly and you do. It is like the sun is beaming on you and life is good. It is abundantly good. Most of us have had one of those moments in our lifetime when everything was perfect and worry was not even a passing thought. We had nothing to worry about. We were on the right path.
On this earth it is so very easy to slide off of the right path, the narrow path, because so many temptations are lurking around every corner. Shame is a guilt that will chain you quickly. It truly is enough to keep one from their purpose in life.
If you are afraid of others discovering something from your past or present, you will not be near as bold about things. This is why it is best to come clean of everything. Leave the devil with nothing to shame you with. If you step forward and say; I did that and I did this and it did not feel good but it is part of my history, it is what it is. By doing this, those things lose their power over you. You will break the chains of slavery.
When you sin, you may not fully grasp in that moment that you have supplied the evil one with the tools he needs to enslave you into bondage. He will haunt you later in life with your shames. Don’t allow him that privilege. Don’t hand over that power. There is NO REASON to! Your heavenly father loves you so much; he provided you a way to freedom. He provided you with the law of liberty. Step out of the shadows and allow yourself to bask in the sun. Come follow the son of God and live an abundant life.
The birthday wish my grandma gave me approximately 17 years ago is the same prayer I say for all my brethren today. “May you learn to live before you die.”
My computer is in the hands of a friend. I do not yet know if it can be saved but I do now have in my email both of the chapters from book III that I feared may be lost. I still have 4 chapters to polish off to finish my book and I am certainly behind schedule at this point but I am not going to stress over any of it. This is Gods book. He put it on my heart to share with the world. It will hit the shelves right when it is supposed to.
Should I need a new computer, then a new one I will find this weekend! I hear there is a mighty storm headed our way. I wondered when I heard it was on its way for sure if it was perhaps going to be enough to allow me to stay home toasty warm and finish this third volume God put on my heart to write. We will see won’t we?
Father, today I come before you with such gratitude. As I read all of King David’s 119th Psalm I found myself crying. I am so thankful that he too was willing to share all you put on his heart to share. His words and songs to you have lifted me so many times lately. I find him and his love for you very inspiring. To know that I am not alone in any way. To know that you love us regardless of anything we may do. It is such a gift to understand the depth of your love. I thank you for never giving up on me and for sending others my way to minister to me over the years. May I be a hand or foot for you as well. May my words lift and encourage and shine light into the darkest corners of the world. I have so much to be thankful for my Lord. Please fill my heart with your love so that I may reveal your glory to all I manage to touch in my lifetime. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.
Wendy, walks with God,
Mom of Many
© Wendy Glidden