Fantastically Fun Filled Friends and Family Friday . . .
Today with friendship in mind, I was reflecting on relationships in general and it was pressed upon me that all relationships have their ups and downs; moments that could be deal breakers even. Sadly, more often than not, deal breakers take place between husband and wives, best friends, and families, including church families. This made me reflect on the statement Jesus made in Matthew, Mark and Luke:
"Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child; children will rebel against their parents and have them put to death. (Matthew 10:21, NIV & Mark)
From now on there will be five in one family divided against each other, three against two and two against three. They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law." (Luke 12:52-53)
Now in all honesty, if one were to trace back things to just before the division occurs, you can almost always find the moment where one person finds offense by the actions or words of another. Rather than talk things out, a fire is ignited, walls are put up, and too often, wood is thrown back and forth causing the fire to grow.
Why is it that followers of Christ get hung up in the area of forgiveness? I mean honestly, even the disciples took issue with how many times they were required by God to forgive their fellow brother:
Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?”
“No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven! (Matthew 18:21-22, NIV)
So watch yourselves. "If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying 'I repent,' you must forgive them." (Luke 17:3-4, NIV)
In life I have learned that holding grudges only hurts me and others I love in the long run. Taking offense is easy, being the bigger person, walking the walk, is more difficult for falling to the flesh is our nature. It takes both prayer and discipline to remain obedient to the word of God.
There is a real thing as “Church Hurt” going on in our nation; honestly it has been going on for a long long time. It has been known to divide churches and the true enemy behind all of this is Satan.
If you find yourself unable to forgive another, the enemy will use that to manipulate you into taking action on that grudge. It could be something as innocent as gossiping about another to as big as slandering another behind their back. This type of behavior only leads to more division among members, whether they are family by blood or family by Christ.
It is the statement that Christ makes about “watching ourselves” that always gives me pause. It is almost as if He is urging us to reflect upon the conversation God had with Cain in regard to his emotions:
So Cain was very angry, and his face was downcast.
Then the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must rule over it.” (Genesis 4:5-7, NIV)
So, you may be wondering what God meant by doing what is right in the instance of Cain. In that story, Cain was the one in the wrong and what he needed to do was come to grips with his actions and repent with a godly sorrow.
It is when you don’t face facts about your wrong doings, but instead justify them, that the enemy is able to move you like a puppet against your brother. Hopefully your story doesn’t end as tragically as Cain’s did.
For the person who is offended, should your friend, family member or even fellow church member not repent and ask for forgiveness, it is still in your best interest to forgive them and then immediately begin to pray for the one who has offended you. Take that hurt to God. Don’t stew in it or you too may find yourself victim to sin!
In the end, when we follow Christ, we need to follow his lead in all ways. With that being said, one of my favorite passages in the Bible is the one where Christ gives his disciples the right to dust off their feet should they come to a crossroad with another, having done their due diligence in sharing the gospel of peace to no avail:
If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, leave that home or town and shake the dust off your feet. (Matthew 10:14, NIV)
I pray should you find yourself struggling in the area of forgiveness today that God’s word speaks to you, helping to heal your wounds, allowing you to see the bigger picture. In Jesus name I pray. Amen!
Wendy, Mom of many, girl who walks with God
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