It is totally Terrific Testimonial Tell All Tuesday and what a Tell All Tuesday it is! I sit here looking at the screen wanting to both laugh and cry hysterically at the same time.
Those of you who have read my story know that I was approached by God as a pre-teen and told that I would be a mother to many. Today, I have the following announcements:
Those of you who have read my story know that I was approached by God as a pre-teen and told that I would be a mother to many. Today, I have the following announcements:
- 1. Mike and I are 100% over. His heart belongs to someone else. A first love he never got over. He is searching for her on Facebook as of last night.
- I'm pregnant.
This morning I am of course in the midst of a turbulent emotional storm within my heart. It is crazy the waves of emotions that are hitting me. It is almost too much to take.
I know the only true thing I can armor my heart with is with Words from my father in heaven, so I grab my phone and pull up my email account in hopes that the crumb I find from K-Love's encouraging word will be the one I need. This is my substance this morning:
Don't let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. (John 14:1, NLT)
I wept with gratitude." Don't let my heart be troubled! TRUST in God, and trust also in me." I cannot begin to tell you how those words strengthen me. I KNOW my God. I KNOW He loves me. I KNOW babies are blessings. While I have not a clue of what on earth He is thinking in blessing me at this time in my life, upon reading the encouraging word of the day, I recalled the first verse I clung to:
Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. (Proverbs 3:5, NLT)
I am so thankful that I can trust in the LORD today. In times past, I didn't even turn to the LORD while in crisis. I leaned on my own understandings; of course you know that if you read "You Are Worthy Too: The Proof is in the Pudding"
You can bet your bottom dollar that even fully armored today, I will laugh and I will cry. Twelve years is an interesting number and that is exactly how many years I have known Mike. I felt our relationship had come to its end on Sunday and I ended up going to the first Sunday service.
I arrived late as I had originally planned my morning with the intention of going to the second service. It is my favorite as there is no rush for it to end at an exact time. It is my belief that this allows the Holy Spirit to work more freely. Anyway, after the singing part of Sunday worship ended, a man with a message was asked to come forward and share.This is mostly what he said:
"A relationship full of strife has come to a close today."
I sat in the pew truly believing that was a confirmation for me that Mike and I were indeed over. Full of strife described our relationship to a "T". The man went on to explain that the type of relationship was like Ruth and Naomi and he mentioned another relationship that I can't recall at the moment. I know the story of Ruth and Naomi so I questioned if the message was for me. He then went on to explain that is was more of a mentoring relationship that they were looking for, and I was like, "Oh. That kind of describes our relationship too." Next he mentioned that he believed that this was going to be a new person. That made me question if the message was intended for me again. You see, I am new to first service but not second and I just began going here this summer. He went on to mention that this message was intended for the prayer team so they would be on the lookout for this person. It was his belief that they would be in need of healing. With that I decided the message was for someone else. I reasoned that I would be elated if that message were for me and healing would be the last thing on my 'needs list'.
Today as the realization that Mike has been in love with another girl for our entire relationship smacked me upside the head, the evil one began whispering awful lies to me and I was quickly sliding down a slippery slope of overwhelming heart break. Here I am pregnant with another child and this family is the last thing in the world that he wants.
I've known it for a long time. I think anyone who reads my blogs may have thought the same thing a time or two. Some silly part of me thought, "One day. . . " Ugh!
Yes. I am sad and relieved. Worse, I am pregnant. I resent the hormones that make it that much harder for me to stay focused on the truth. God LOVES me. Christ also LOVES me. I am a redeemed child of God. I have a purpose. I need to set my mind on things above. Just what does my oh so humorous Father have in store for me next? Mom of Many indeed!
I am going to need prayers for healing and strength and I ask for all who are intercessory prayer warriors to pray for me. I need prayers for provision as well. May my books flow off the shelves encouraging countless others to seek the LORD themselves. May the desires of my heart be fulfilled. May the LORD use me to the largest extremes. Expand my purpose. Fill my life with light. Allow my story to touch hearts across the globe. Let me be an expression of hope that brings knowledge of your glory into the darkest corners of the world. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.
Wendy, Mom of Many, walks with God.
© Wendy Glidden 2015
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