Are Your Prayers Awkward?

Hello! Today is Simple Sincere Seeking Sunday! Have you taken any time to sing praises to Our Heavenly Father today? Perhaps you don't even realize He enjoys such devotion.  I never really thought of it as devotion when I was younger. God was my best friend. I would chat it up with Him like a girl would chat it up with her best friend. Today, often this is how I turn and pray to God. When I'm in a desperate place however, I find myself on my knees. Yes, literally on my knees. Praying one on one with God is one thing. Praying out loud for others to hear, well, that's another!

Somewhere along in life, I developed a fear of  speaking in front of others. As I began hanging out in groups where people asked for others to pray out loud, my fear expanded to prayers. I began silently praying that no one would ask me to pray out loud. I felt my prayers would be juvenile. I began searching for a good prayer book. For a moment I had one. 31 days of prayer. I only got to read 4 of those 31 days before my book vanished into thin air. Unlike my study bible, it has never been found. Mike thinks a drink got spilled on it and it was thrown away. He's not positive about this, but I'm thinking it was the case. I love Goodwill and one Sunday, while searching their book shelves, I found another great prayer book, entitled Intercessory Prayer by Doug Sheets. AWESOME book! I was reading it and I am telling you this book had me laughing and crying all in the same day! This book has too vanished. I was about half way through it when I realized I had not seen it for three days. I at least know it is available via E-Book format. I must get a kindle. The old kind. I need to consolidate. When I carry more than one devotional and my study bible, things have a way of disappearing.

Regardless, I recognized my fear of praying was an indicator that Satan sees me as someone he does not want praying. For he is the source of fear. When you are full of trepidation over something, I encourage you to turn that fear into awe and ask God, what is your plan for me where this pertains? How can I best serve you in this way. For if the Devil is frightened by what you are capable of doing through me, then I want some of that action!

Honestly, I was afraid of praying out loud enough so that I confessed it to my life coach. I knew she would push me. It's why I go to see her. She loves me and she wants to help me reach beyond my wildest dreams. Never in a million years did I expect her to have me pray for her right then and right there. I confessed to her that I had committed to fill in for another woman I admire at our monthly meeting. When I hung up after saying I would be honored to fill her shoes, I panicked realizing I would be in charge of at least one prayer. I confessed this to Cathy. She laughed and said, "Oh Wendy, that fear is not from God, you know where it comes from." I laughed with her for I do know where that comes from. Knowing and overcoming are two VERY different beings!

I was so nervous but Cathy calmed me down. By listening to her gentle direction, I soon found myself praying for her from my heart. Asking God to fill her with more boldness and give her clarity in how to best direct those she serves. I honestly don't remember what all I prayed for for her but I do know when I got done praying it was not viewed as a childish prayer. I know if I can do it once, then with God I can do it again and again.

I knew I was going to be blogging on prayers soon. It has flashed across my mind too many times to not be a repeating topic. I have heard this one song that I heard recently 3 times today and it is so perfect when it comes to the topic of prayers. I am going to find it and place it here. Before I do that though, as part of my "Renew Your Mind Challenge", I read a devotional every day. Yesterday's topic covered prayer a little bit. The gist in the closing made me grin so big I can't even tell you. It said something along the lines that while your prayers may be awkward, it is not the person praying or how they phrase the prayer that matters. The power of prayer is in the One who hears it. Not the one who says it. I love that because it takes so much weight off my shoulders. The only thing I have to do when it comes to prayer is speak from my heart and listen to the voice that reminds me of my righteousness.

I recently read the following passage in the book of James found in the New Testament portion of the Bible: Chapter 5, verse 13 and it says this about prayers and their power:

Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.

Anytime you see a word like "Therefore" it means some details of what is about to be said and why it is about to be said can be found prior to this verse. Chapter 5 is full of wisdom. As I often do, I am going to share it here in it's entirety using my study bible, beginning at verse 1:

verse 1:    Come now, you rich, weep and howl for your miseries which are coming upon you.

verse 2:    Your riches have rotted and your garments have become moth-eaten.

verse 3:    Your gold and your silver have rusted; and their rust will be a witness against you and will consume your flesh like fire. It is in the last days that you have stored up your treasure!

verse 4:    Behold, the pay of the laborers who mowed your field, and which has been withheld by you, cries out against you; and the outcry of those who did the harvesting has reached the ears of the Lord of Sabaoth.

verse 5:    You have lived luxuriously on earth and led a life of wanton pleasure; you have fattened your hearts in a day of slaughter.

verse 6:    You have condemned and put to death the righteous man, he does not resist you. 

verse 7:    Therefore be patient, brethren, until the coming of the Lord. The farmer waits for the precious produce of the soil, being patient about it unit it gets the early and late rains.

verse 8:    You too be patient; strengthen your hearts, for the coming of the Lord is near.

verse 9:    Do not complain, brethren, against one another, so that you yourselves may not be judged; behold, the Judge is standing right at the door.

verse 10:  As an example, brethren, of suffering and patience, take the prophets who spoke in the name of the Lord.

verse 11:  We count those blessed who endured. You have heard of the endurance of Job and have seen the outcome of the Lord's dealings, that the Lord is full of compassion and is merciful. 

verse 12:  But above all, my brethren, do not swear, either by heaven or by earth or with any other oath; but your yes is to be yes, and your no, no, so that you many not fall under judgment.

verse 13:  Is anyone among you suffering Then he must pray. Is anyone cheerful? He is to sing praises.

verse 14:  Is anyone among you sick? Then he must call for the elders of the church and they are to pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord;

verse 15:  and prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is sick, and the Lord will raise him up, and if he has committed sins, they will be forgiven.

verse 16:  Therefore, confess your sins to one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. 

verse 17:  Elijah was a man with a nature like ours, and he prayed earnestly that it would not rain, and it did not rain on the earth for three years and six months.

verse 18:  Then he prayed again and the sky poured rain and the earth produced its fruit.

verse 19:  My brethren, if any among you strays from the truth and one turns him back,

verse 20:  let him know that he who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save his soul from death and will cover a multitude of sins.

 Because all of our prayers for healing are not answered the way we long for, many doubt the power of prayer. I would like to encourage you to search your heart when you pray and to always pray for others before your self. When praying for yourself seek the fruits of the spirit. There is no magical formula for getting your prayers answered.

I leave you with this song I was telling you about. Enjoy. I love when he sings, "Father, I'm in a desperate place." Been there. Talk about belting out a song with heart felt emotion! Without further delay, I introduce to you "Pray" by Sanctos Real:

Father, today I come before you asking for more courage. Let me not be kept silent by fear of speaking out loud. Fill me with your wisdom and your strength. Fill my heart with love for others. Strip me of impatience, fill me with a peace so deeply that the angry cannot penetrate causing me to stumble from talking through love. Father, lift those in dark places into the light and fill their hearts with your love. No matter how fleeting their minds may turn toward you for an answer, answer them father. Let them feel your presence in such a way they cannot deny you Love them right where they are. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.


Wendy,
Mom of Many


© Wendy Glidden 2013

Show Me a Sign!

Chapter 7

Show Me a Sign (Out of the trilogy: You Are Worthy Too: The Proof is in the Pudding!

This actually happened to me on December 26, 2010. It is one of the things God urged me to share again. As his humble servant I have promised to listen to his direction! I hope this true story helps you with your faith!

Boy oh boy do I have a story to share! I am a real believer in not getting into debt. If I don't have the cash, I can't afford it.  So I pay all of my bills in cash. This is why on December 26th, I was walking around with approximately $1300.00 in my wallet. It was all earmarked for bills that I needed to pay and a whopping $240 to play with that my kids and I had received from family for Christmas.

Now you should know in my house we don't put up a tree and do the whole Santa thing. I just really think the whole world has gone a little crazy in the Christmas area. So, we bake a cake and sing happy birthday to Jesus even though we know December 25 is not the day he was born.

I tell my kids that they need to pray to God to for wisdom, protection, and for kinder hearts. I tell them to ask for help when dealing with their brothers and sisters. I tell them they can also ask that He help me find things they have wished for throughout the year. I go to Goodwill's and Thrift stores to shop. With 7 kids in the house, it is honestly the only way I can afford to do anything special at all!

On a short list, I did find a Tonka remote control dump truck for Michael for $4.00 and a Fisher Price Digital Camera for Marissa for a whopping $3.00. I also found a Barbie computer learning game for Marie that was the exact same one her cousin had gotten the year before that Marie LOVED and had asked for about a million times priced at $2.99! For my littlest one and my two-year-old, I found some awesome toys all wonderfully priced. You know God loves his babies! Tia and Travis were just as lucky with items they had asked for. Goodwill is also the greatest place to buy books for kids and since we have what we call library time at night. I wanted some new kid books to read and boy oh boy did I score there!

After breakfast I asked who wanted to help me in the bonus room with laundry and of course everyone offered as they were still on their best behavior knowing that God was watching.

I had spread all the gifts out on the floor and as we walked out the door they were all overwhelmed with joy over the items God had led me to for them. Needless to say for the rest of the morning everyone was wonderful, sharing their toys, reading the books, taking pictures, and driving the dump truck. It was a truly pleasurable morning. I sipped on my coffee and smiled to myself as my kids all thanked God for helping me find what they had wanted.

From there we went to my Grandma's house and then off to my sister's house for the remainder of the day. Worn out and looking forward to a shopping trip to Value World on 52nd and Keystone where I had been blessed enough to score a 50% off coupon for the entire thrift store, the kids and I all fell into our beds and were fast asleep.

The next day around 11:00 AM we were officially on our way to go shopping. I had seen some bird cages at a local goodwill when I had gone shopping prior to Christmas. My Uncle Bob loves birds and I had asked if he’d be interested in these cages. He had said yes so we stopped there first. I grabbed the cages and then saw a high chair that was marked $10 but was also 50% off so I grabbed it.

Mike lost patience while standing in line and left me in the store with 5 children and a full cart along with the high chair.

This was a time in my life where my pain level was off the charts. Mike felt that he was doing me a favor by making me struggle. He claimed it kept me strong.

All I really longed for was him to help out more or for him to be gone. What good is a partner who doesn’t do his part?

Anyway, my back was pretty bad and I was hurting something awful. I paid for our stuff and then fought my way out the store with the children, the highchair, and my cart. Mike was in the van waiting for us.

I was so mad I didn’t trust myself to speak. I loaded the children and the items into the van while Mike watched me struggle. I climbed up into the passenger seat and requested we stop off at home first to unload all of our items.

When we got home he did help carry in the high chair at my request. I stopped him in the garage and said, “Look. I’m really bad today and I don’t want to get angry with you. So, if you can’t be a gentleman today, I’d rather you stay here.”

He looked at me with this blank look. I continued, “Opening that side door on that van kills me. Having you walk off leaving me with everything makes me insanely angry. I don’t want to be angry so if you can’t do this for me today, it would be best for you to not join us.”

He grinned at me and asked me to clarify what I wanted. I said this, “Every movie that you have ever seen where a man treats a lady like a lady, that’s what I need from you today. If you can’t do that then don’t come.”

He assured me he was capable of that. I tried calling Tia and Travis one more time as they were at their Grandmother’s for Christmas morning but they were still not answering the phone. I told Mike I wanted to drive since I knew the best route to go and giving him directions usually ended up with me being upset.

We headed out and had made it to 80th and Keystone when Jeffrey, my youngest child was losing his mind. Mike suggested we pull over and switch drivers so I could tend to Jeffrey Thomas. When I pulled over, I got out and walked around to the side door of the van and waited for Mike to open the door from the inside. All of a sudden the side window rolled down and he yelled, “Are you going to get in or what?”

I can’t even tell you the anger I felt in that moment. It took everything I had in me to get that door opened and then closed. I was so mad I was crying silently. He so didn’t get it! No sooner than I got buckled in, Tia and Travis called. I had Mike head over to Allisonville to go back and get them. Not five minutes into our ride Mike began berating me over the amount of gas we had in the car.

Somehow I managed to calmly say, “Mike if the level of gas is a problem, pull into the next gas station and we can fill up.”

Like most children do, when we pulled up to the pump, they all suddenly needed to go to the bathroom. I unloaded them and told Mike I’d pay inside. Once in the store, I reached into my coat to get my money out. That is when I realized I did not have my wallet on me anymore. I told myself even though I was already beginning to panic, it’s in the console.

I ran to the van and asked Mike if my wallet was in the console. It was not. "What about on the floor." I suggested, "Maybe it fell."

Again he said, "No."

I was sick. Every dime I had was in that wallet. I was crying pretty hard on the inside and praying to God silently to please help me.

I called the Goodwill I had gone to first to see if by chance I had left my wallet there. No. They did not have it but they did take down my number just in case someone found it and turned it in.

When we picked up Tia and Travis I told them the bad news.

Just as we were getting ready to turn around and back track our steps, my phone rang. Now, bear in mind, my cell number is listed on our voice mail message at work just encase someone needs something after hours so I was not sure who was calling. Even though the last thing in the world I wanted to do was talk about was fence, I answered my phone trying not to let on to the fact that I was crying. "Hello." I said as calmly as I could muster.

The voice on the other end asked if they could talk to Wendy.

I wasn't sure I could pull off a long conversation at the moment without giving away the fact that I was crying so I asked who was calling.

They said, "Well I am someone who might have found something she has lost."

I replied, "Oh my! Did you find my wallet!"

She said, "Yes and I can’t wait to meet you.”

We arranged a place to meet and described our cars to each other. (It turns out I had actually lost the wallet when we had pulled over into an apartment complex on 80th street between Keystone Ave & Dean Rd to switch drivers so I could calm down the baby.)

When we arrived, I got out of the van. The most beautiful woman I had ever seen was standing there to greet me. She took my hands and said, "I have to bear witness to you."

She proceeded to tell me the unusual journey she had taken, completely out of her way, but led in that path by God's voice when she came upon my wallet. This angel of God had to look me up on the Internet and she found me through Glidden Fence!

The most amazing thing to me, is she gave me a direct answer to a prayer. There is NO way she could have known what I had been asking God for over the last six months. She told me as if it were no big deal, "Oh, God told me to tell you that you are one of his favorite people and to let you know not to worry, he has heard you. In me returning your wallet, you have your answer to your prayer."

Now, to many of you that most likely is vague, but to me, she was right. That message did answer my prayer. I could not have asked for a bigger sign. Just so you know, my prayer for the last six months had been. “God, I have failed at this relationship thing so many times. I have 5 children with Mike. I want these children to grow up with their father in their lives but I'm not sure I can continue with him. I need a sign. If I leave Mike will I be able to make it financially on my own?”

So, to all of those of you, who have questioned whether God is with us or not, I assure you He most definitely is!

Wendy, Mom of Many

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