Thursday, December 6, 2012

I Will NEVER!


Me and My Oh So Righteous Self . . . or not!

Be careful when you exclaim you will Never do something! More than I care to admit I have found myself doing the exact thing I was so righteously convinced I would NEVER do!

Just off the top of  head:
  1. Spite God
  2. Have an abortion
  3. Give a baby up for adoption
  4. Smoke
  5. Drink
  6. Do drugs
  7. Be one of those girls who was the show at bachelor parties
  8. Stay in an abusive relationship
Impressive list don't you think! Oh you know I have to address each and everyone of these because in all honesty I have done all of them and we all know there are many more lurking out there in the background . . . I'm sure the evil one will try to taunt me with any that remain! I'm amazed as I see the ink on the paper . . . am I really going to share all of this . . . I know the answer . . . Yes. I am. For you see it is all of my sins that I have committed that make it that much more amazing that God has called me to share my story. I pray for guidance and protection as I proceed. It is my focus to show you that all of us ARE WORTHY of God's grace.

I want you to realize I did all these things AFTER receiving the knowledge I received when I was young. Can you for one minute imagine being told you would be a mother to many when your own mother was the saddest darkest most negative person you knew on a daily basis? I wanted nothing to do with her life's path. I was told my first child would be a girl and I was informed that I would be young when I had her. I cried for I don't know how long. I wrote in my journal of what I was told and I began an outline of what kind of parent I would be. How I wish I had that journal to this day. I long to know what all I wrote down about that experience but my journal perished in a fire in the 15th year of my life. Regardless . . . sin number 1 was accomplished the year I met my first love. With his help I was going to outsmart God! I laugh about it now . . . but trust me when I say my sifting was just getting started! 

I must publish this before I lose my nerve . . . I hope you figure out how to find my posts . . . I am not the most brilliant with all of this tech stuff . . . I see that there is a share button and I trust I will get that education as I continue . . . as I have come to believe ~ God will give me all I need as I need it! Again, may your day be blessed.

Wendy, mom of many 

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