Yesterday I went to a clinic to confirm what I already knew. I'm pregnant at 46. On top of taking another pregnancy test, an ultrasound was performed to ensure all was well. The heartbeat was found, a picture of my 'diamond in the rough' was taken:
According to the measurements taken, my blessing will arrive toward the end of March.
I've looked at this crazy picture more times than I can count. The reality is beginning to sink in. I really am pregnant again. Last year at this time, as some of you know, I miscarried around 6 weeks. Today I am only 6 weeks and 4 days but I know this baby has a heart beat and appears to be developing as it should be. While I certainly don't understand what God has in store for me, I am comforted by His promises, especially ones like this:
Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7, NLT, courtesy of K-love)
The one thing I have going for me is that God does care for me. I know He is my real provider. Mike had originally promised to give me $200 a week in child support. Today is the second day he has called in sick because he is trying to find a way to make a side income. I tried explaining that he should go to work and get his paycheck and do side work on the side, not during working hours. Anything I say to him only makes him angry and he has begun making repetitive comments about how stupid I am.
I originally thought that I would try to stay here in the RV and survive. Now I know I cannot stay where he can easily swing by. He has become my tormentor. I told him it is not easy to be around him as he searches for other women in front of me. He is not only looking for Heather, it has now been brought to my attention that he is registering on multiple dating websites in search for another partner or at least someone to hang out with.
Today he informed me that I am taking all of this too personally! What can I say, I'm dumbfounded by him. I have to believe that he has drifted so far from God that his view is what is messed up; not me.
Personally I am a little messed up. It is difficult to come to terms that the person you have spent the last twelve years of your life was never truly in love with you! It is crazy for me to listen to him talk about how he is going to strike it big in the next couple of months and then move to either Alaska or Hawaii. I don't know how he can have a baby on the way and not even be interested in that one tiny bit. All of these "Why's?" will not be answered for me and it is not healthy for me to ponder them either. Those questions keep me trapped in emotional turmoil that is not only unhealthy for me, it is also unhealthy for the baby inside me.
I did a little math today and discovered that if I were to sell 1000 books this month, I would be able to move back home and pay for a place to live. If I continued selling books, God would provide for me by allowing me to have the desires of my heart. So, if you are wondering what gift to buy a loved one this year, I would like to suggest my consolidated book "You Are Worthy Too: The Proof is in the Pudding"
With one simple purchase of only $13.00, not only will you gain a great gift that will bless someone, you will also be helping a single mother provide for her children! I know God has blessings in that book for just about everyone that reads it. I have walked in a lot of shoes. When I first began blogging, something close to this was my ad:
"I was called out to tell my story; from running away to dropping out of highschool, to being a teen mom, married and divorced, living through an abusive marriage, having an abortion and giving a child up for adoption, giving birth to 10 babies and so much more. I'm pretty sure I've lived in your shoes at some point! Please come seek the message God has for you!"
The link above is the YouTube video for 'Big Daddy Weave's' newest song "My Story". Here are the words as well:
I've looked at this crazy picture more times than I can count. The reality is beginning to sink in. I really am pregnant again. Last year at this time, as some of you know, I miscarried around 6 weeks. Today I am only 6 weeks and 4 days but I know this baby has a heart beat and appears to be developing as it should be. While I certainly don't understand what God has in store for me, I am comforted by His promises, especially ones like this:
Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7, NLT, courtesy of K-love)
The one thing I have going for me is that God does care for me. I know He is my real provider. Mike had originally promised to give me $200 a week in child support. Today is the second day he has called in sick because he is trying to find a way to make a side income. I tried explaining that he should go to work and get his paycheck and do side work on the side, not during working hours. Anything I say to him only makes him angry and he has begun making repetitive comments about how stupid I am.
I originally thought that I would try to stay here in the RV and survive. Now I know I cannot stay where he can easily swing by. He has become my tormentor. I told him it is not easy to be around him as he searches for other women in front of me. He is not only looking for Heather, it has now been brought to my attention that he is registering on multiple dating websites in search for another partner or at least someone to hang out with.
Today he informed me that I am taking all of this too personally! What can I say, I'm dumbfounded by him. I have to believe that he has drifted so far from God that his view is what is messed up; not me.
Personally I am a little messed up. It is difficult to come to terms that the person you have spent the last twelve years of your life was never truly in love with you! It is crazy for me to listen to him talk about how he is going to strike it big in the next couple of months and then move to either Alaska or Hawaii. I don't know how he can have a baby on the way and not even be interested in that one tiny bit. All of these "Why's?" will not be answered for me and it is not healthy for me to ponder them either. Those questions keep me trapped in emotional turmoil that is not only unhealthy for me, it is also unhealthy for the baby inside me.
I did a little math today and discovered that if I were to sell 1000 books this month, I would be able to move back home and pay for a place to live. If I continued selling books, God would provide for me by allowing me to have the desires of my heart. So, if you are wondering what gift to buy a loved one this year, I would like to suggest my consolidated book "You Are Worthy Too: The Proof is in the Pudding"
With one simple purchase of only $13.00, not only will you gain a great gift that will bless someone, you will also be helping a single mother provide for her children! I know God has blessings in that book for just about everyone that reads it. I have walked in a lot of shoes. When I first began blogging, something close to this was my ad:
"I was called out to tell my story; from running away to dropping out of highschool, to being a teen mom, married and divorced, living through an abusive marriage, having an abortion and giving a child up for adoption, giving birth to 10 babies and so much more. I'm pretty sure I've lived in your shoes at some point! Please come seek the message God has for you!"
The link above is the YouTube video for 'Big Daddy Weave's' newest song "My Story". Here are the words as well:
"My Story"
If I told you my story
You would hear Hope that wouldn't let go
And if I told you my story
You would hear Love that never gave up
And if I told you my story
You would hear Life, but it wasn't mine
If I should speak then let it be
Of the grace that is greater than all my sin
Of when justice was served and where mercy wins
Of the kindness of Jesus that draws me in
Oh to tell you my story is to tell of Him
If I told you my story
You would hear victory over the enemy
And if I told you my story
You would hear freedom that was won for me
And if I told you my story
You would hear Life overcome the grave
If I should speak then let it be
Of the grace that is greater than all my sin
Of when justice was served and where mercy wins
Of the kindness of Jesus that draws me in
Oh to tell you my story is to tell of Him
This is my story, this is my song
Praising my savior all the day long
This is my story, this is my song
Praising my savior all the day long
For the grace that is greater than all my sin
Of when justice was served and where mercy wins
Of the kindness of Jesus that draws me in
Oh to tell you my story is to tell
For the grace that is greater than all my sin
Of when justice was served and where mercy wins
Of the kindness of Jesus that draws me in
Oh to tell you my story is to tell of Him
Oh to tell you my story is to tell of Him
This is my story, this is my song
Praising my savior all the day long
It is my belief that this is exactly what you will find in my story. Please support me today by purchasing my book. Bless this mother of many as you bless those you purchase my story for. Thank you to all that find it in your heart to support this not well known author called forth by God! If you missed it above, this link takes your directly to my store where you can purchase 'You Are Worthy Too: The Proof is in the Pudding"
Father today I pray that my story that you called me forth to share truly does inspire those it was written for. May the talents you blessed me with provide for all the needs my family has. May my blessings be so abundant that I am able to bless countless others as well. Explode my territory LORD, give me the desires of my heart. You know since childhood I have wanted to be one who helps the lost find their way back home. Please Father, set me free from this prison that Mike is trying to keep me in and help me shine my light so brightly it can be seen across the globe! I love you and thank you for the depths of my faith. In Jesus name I pray. Amen!
Wendy, Mom of Many, walks with God
© Wendy Glidden 2015