Today I am also thankful that I put God in the middle of my marriage to Mike right from the beginning. You see, if you have previously read the blog "A shotgun wedding" you know I never wanted to marry Jeff. I felt like I was robbed. Once divorced, marriage no longer held as much significance to me. So much so that I married my next two husbands for all the wrong reasons. I divorced them without guilt. I had never gone before God and requested his blessing on any of those unions. I never prayed on or over any of those marriages.
When it came to Mike, he was the first man I WANTED to marry. So much so that it caught me off guard. I wanted to be good with God where we were concerned. I remember standing with him, holding hands, looking at each other as we asked God to bless our union and said our vows to each other. We were in his mother's condo. It was February 14th. The same day Michael was conceived. While it may seem weird, I had never felt more married in my life. There was no license involved. There was no witness in the room other than God and the twins. When we finished our vows, my heart soared.
I truly believe Mike and I were meant to be together. I feel blessed to be loved by him. The major factor in me seeking God for help when it came to our marriage honestly has to do with the lack of love Mike was showering me with. It's not that he stopped loving me, it was that his heart was hardening. At one point in our relationship you could say he was so miserable, living with him was overwhelming. I saw so many blessings in our life. I would often ask him, "Why are you so miserable. Look at where we are, what we have together. We are blessed. How can you not see it?" He would all but snarl at me.
At one point I put his oldest son's picture in a collage on our wall. I thought his hardening of the heart was connected to the loss of that relationship. Having his son taken from him had hardened his heart so much so I feared Mike would never find his way to to Faith, Hope and Love. I encouraged him to get in contact with the mother of his child again. Due to how things had abruptly ended between them, Mike's entire family had honored the agreement between Mike's step-father Larry and Sarah. They all felt Mike did not deserve to have any contact with his son. His brother refused to give Mike any contact information. Knowing what I did about Mike's parent's pasts, I was astounded by the judgement and lack of love and understanding from Larry more so than Marie, Mike's mom. Mike's brother refused to give Mike any contact information. He and Mike have a unique relationship for brothers. Mike then begged his mother for a number or an address to write them. His mom, after having Mike promise he would not cause any problems, provided him with a number for a parent or a step parent of Sarah's. She reminded Mike to stay civil in all conversations. Mike called a couple of times and left messages saying he just wanted a chance to build a relationship with his son. No one ever called back. I encouraged him to not give up, but Mike was more negative in those days. He felt defeated in the matter. This greatly impacted everything. When all seemed hopeless, I turned to God for help. I prayed fervently over it. If you have read my blog, "Show me a sign", you know a little about where our relationship was heading a few years ago. By keeping my focus on Jesus, I was shown how to handle things with love.
This weekend, Mike is going to get to meet his son for the first time since he wrecked his car while in a high speed chase with the police. At that time John was a mere 18 months old. He was in the back seat, strapped in his car seat when that event took place. I find it ironic that he was arrested close to independence day and he will be reunited with his son a few days before independence day 12 years later.
I pray this will bring things full cycle for Mike where his heart is concerned. I know how deeply Mike loves John. He may have an inkling himself, but just like after the birth of our first son Michael, (one of the stories God inspired me with this week), Mike is going to be hit with emotions he has never experienced. All I pray is he feels God with him when the damn breaks and the water rushes forth.
Today Father, I come before You and pray that everyone realizes a marriage without your blessing is nothing more than a legal document. That is it. Nothing less, nothing more. I know this as truth for I have been married to 3 different men with a license to do so. All three marriages failed and in the same manner I was divorced by man's laws. However when I was at my wits end with Mike, I sought out Your blessing to leave him because I sought your blessing to be married to him in the first place. Having you in the middle truly makes all the difference. I pray you open the eyes of all who have curiosity regarding this matter of marriage. I also pray for protection over our trip and Mike's reunion with his son. May the evil one be kept at bay. May he find no entrance to enter into the situation. Fill both Mike and Sarah with a calm that cannot be denied comes from You Father. Allow John to see the love his father truly feels for him. I truly believe it is Your will for these two to be united again and I thank you for again always being Faithful Father. Your Grace is such a gift. Only you can pull of such miracles when it comes to the healing of hearts. Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! In Jesus name I pray. Amen!
I end with a song that touches my heart every time I hear it for the truth it reveals. Enjoy!
Wendy, Mom of Many
© Wendy Glidden 2013