Jesus and John The Baptist

Jesus and John The Baptist:

Recently I heard on Moody radio a snippet of a discussion. I listened long enough to learn another young black man had been shot and killed by a white police officer. I also listened long enough to discover that the verdict was fresh in acquitting the officer of any wrong doing.

I didn’t listen much longer because I wanted to focus on something bigger than what the world had to say on such a subject. You see, this year while taking an English composition class, I had to write a thesis paper. I chose to write mine on media and the effects it has on your mind and your mood. What I learned was truly scary. Especially when you understand that we are in a spiritual war.

So, here I was, hoping that I would catch a great bible teaching and instead I found myself in the midst of media taking my mind and emotions in a direction that would be sure to ensnare me. I keep a CD in my car for such times. It is full of words that make me remember the big message: “Love God above all and Love one another” Every time I get too far in a direction off of the path that I am to walk with Christ, this song, “People Matter” by Rick Stump, helps me pull myself back in.

As proven by the research I had discovered for my paper, this news story grabbed my mind again and again. This morning I awoke and within the first forty five minutes, this was once again front and center in my thoughts. The coolest thing about my mornings is the few moments I manage to squeeze in with God, our Heavenly Father. Your mind is a really cool thing. The closer you draw to God the more natural and open you become with your thought conversations with Him. I call them thought conversations because that is truly what they are. So I pondered, “What would Jesus do if one of His friends were killed for absolutely no reason?”

Instantly God filled my head with the story of Jesus and John the Baptist! I now know without a shadow of doubt, just how Jesus would handle this situation if He were here.

Some of you may think of Jesus as docile. Some of you have heard the stories of Him getting righteously angry and turning over tables in the temple. Some of you think of Him as a great teacher. Many people in the world say He was a good man. Others say He was a prophet. In the words of CS Lewis: “He didn’t leave that open to us. Jesus is either the Son of God or a lunatic!” As for me, I have no doubts when it comes to who Jesus is.

With that being said, I think before any of us take action in this war, we should arm ourselves with the knowledge of truth and the wisdom of God’s word. There are many examples of how Jesus handled situations involving death. My mind sought for a closer type of death for this situation. That is when God pointed me to John the Baptist.

John was related to Jesus. He baptized Jesus and he was prophesizing about the coming Messiah in the wilderness as foretold by the Old Testament prophets. You cannot deny that John was more than a stranger to Jesus. They were the same race and they were related. During the beginning of Jesus’ ministry, John was imprisoned by King Herod, who later beheaded John at the request of his step daughter. Talk about a wrongful death! Prior to John’s beheading, this is what Jesus had to say about John the Baptist after he was visited by the disciples of John:

When the messengers of John had left, Jesus began to speak to the crowds about John, “What did you go out into the wilderness to see? A reed shaken by the wind?” Luke 7:24, (NASB)

I imagine He spoke these words because John was facing a very certain death. To the end John wanted to ensure that He had lived and done the will of God. Jesus was pointing out that even as events of the world came against John and his disciples, John had remained firm in his faith, not easily swayed by the wind.

We do not read of Jesus rallying troops against the gentiles once John was put to death. He did not point out major differences between the gentiles and the Jews based on their races. When it came to the two races, He only stated that God was the God of both the gentile and the Jew. Just as God is the God over all races of humanity.

When it comes to our differences, our problems with each other, our anger, bitterness, any iniquity we face, God gives us this advice: Forgive one another.

Never once does Jesus tell us to get angry. Never does He teach that we are to take a stand against others or point to examples of how to drag up past history full of hurts and unfairness or to hold onto past events that only have confusion and anger to offer. Rather, He warns us to forgive our enemies and to keep our focus on the truth.

Instead of pointing to past examples of unfairness, for they are never ending in all situations, we should focus on the truth. Jesus came for us and our children. My biggest question is did this boy know who He was in Christ. Had he accepted Christ as His Lord and Savior? I pray He did. I pray all of our children do. I pray we all begin praying for our children to accept Christ. I pray all the children in the world realize that their future days are not promised and that they begin to seek the truth and in turn find Christ, have an abundant life here on earth and live eternally once they pass from here.

Let us not dwell on the past. Tragedies take place every day. Innocent lives are lost every day. With this truth facing us so boldly, we, as the body of Christ, should go forth sharing the message of the Gospel, not the message of bitterness and unfairness. Yes this could have been someone we knew. This could easily happen to our own child. Because those statements are so very true, it should be our mission to share the Love of Christ with as many people as we can every day. Do not forget for one moment that the evil one came to steal, kill and destroy. He will attempt to do that daily by any means possible. Do not get caught up in the schemes of the devil! Put on your armor and fight with the weapons God gave us!

Be blessed my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ, be a light for others, pray for the broken angry hearts of those who are held in bondage. May they feel the love of the Lord. May they be filled with a sense of peace. May those of us who are following Christ, find our faith strengthened today and all the days of our lives. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.

In ending, I am leaving you with the link to the song "People Matter" by Rick Stump. I took the time to type out all the words ~ I pray you listen and love and listen each time you need a boost in your day <3 Be blessed my friends and be a blessing to others <3 

Wendy Glidden, walks with God, mom of many

© Wendy Glidden 2014

No Giggling Allowed!

Today is Totally Terrific Testimonial Tell All Tuesday. My tell all would be this:

I have an issue with the basket being passed at church. I do. I might not have ever found it as weird of an event today as I do had I not belonged to a church that did not pass the basket each Sunday or any Sunday for that matter. As a matter of fact I cannot find one reference to Jesus passing a basket when he taught the multitudes. I do believe in sharing the wealth as led by the Holy Spirit. I just have a problem with the pomp and circumstance of the basket ceremony during worship.

This past Sunday, I tried out another church here in Reno. I won't mention the name because I don't feel it is my place to badmouth a church by name, but I will say this; I will not be going back to this one nor will I personally recommend them. As Mike suggested after we left, I dusted off my sandals and that is that. I will however share my experience as that is what I do.

We arrived 30 minutes early and as we were sitting on a bench outside where others were mingling, we noticed a sign on one of the doors that said, "Sunday School" and there were children already in the room. We sent our children in and discovered that this particular room was for third graders only. The teacher's assistant was kind enough to point us in the right direction for our youngest and she personally offered to escort Delilah to her class.

When I knocked on the door of the preschoolers, I received a somewhat chilling welcome being slightly scolded for being so late. I explained to the woman that we did not realize that Sunday School took place prior to Sunday Service as a whole and she allowed Jeffrey to attend the last 20 minutes of class. He went in happily so I decided to ignore my own feelings at the moment.

When the students were let out, our doors were opened and the family as a whole was permitted to enter the church. It started out great. A prayer, a word of encouragement and a couple of songs. The first one was "Yes Lord, Yes Lord, Yes Yes Lord" and the children were up and grooving to the tune quite joyfully as was I. The next song was one I had not heard before. One of its lines said, "Holy Spirit please come." and me being me, I know that the Holy Spirit walked in with me because the Holy Spirit is in me so I changed the words to reflect that. I was enjoying myself and did not notice that the very lady that had informed me how late I was in delivering Jeffrey to her classroom was now glaring at me. I only discovered this when Mike shared it with me on our way back home.

After the songs, they gave a little word and called the ushers forward. Bear in mind, my children have never been present at the passing of the basket so this was new to them. When the usher arrived at our row, he promptly handed the basket to Michael whose face lit up at the sight of all the money. I could just see the wheels turning in his head and I quickly said one word out loud, "NO!" To which he looked at me and I motioned for him to give the plate like metal basket back to the usher. Sitting right behind Michael was a row that was void of any adults. Only six year old Delilah and her nine year old sister Marissa were occupying that row and yet the usher handed Delightful Delilah the plate full of money. In comparison to Michael's face, Delilah's lit up like the fourth of July. I quickly told her to give the plate back to the man to which Delilah began giggling nervously. As I was shaking my head at her mouthing for her to please stop, I was tapped on the shoulder by someone. When I turned to see who wanted me, I realized it was Jeffrey's teacher. She whispered, "Is this your first time in church?" to which I answered, "This is our first time here but not our first time to church."

She then looked at me and said, "Well, here we expect the children to sit still and be quiet."

Before I even knew I was going to do it, I stood up and said, "Everyone, it is time to go." She seemed genuinely surprised by my reaction and said in a rush, "Oh my God! You don't have to leave!" to which I replied, "Oh yes, yes I do!" and then I stated a little louder to my group, "Get up. We are leaving now!"

There is little question to when I am serious and when I mean move it and move it out of there my family did. I watched this busy body rush to another member in the church and begin gossiping. I felt sorry for her. How happy I am that I don't just 'show up' on Sunday. This lady showed no love in any interaction I had with her and this is the chilling thought; she is teaching the youngest children about God!

One day I pray that I can have my own church like the one that helped me grow spiritually by leaps and bounds without shoving a basket in my face week after week reminding me that it is my duty to donate to them for such teachings. I want my members to recognize the tug at their heart to give as they are directed to by the Holy Spirit. I don't ever want anyone to give out of guilt for that is not how we are meant to do things. I think many people are turned off by the basket and the guilt teachings that go along with the ceremony. Perhaps I am alone in this thinking but I somehow think I might not be. I am still searching for a home church and I will continue to search until I start my own!

This week I am beginning another college course. For the next five weeks I am taking a deep dive into understanding the Psalms and I am truly excited about it! This weeks discussion was on
Psalm 1: 1-3:

PSALM 1:1-3 (NASB)

How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked,

Nor stand in the path of sinners,

Nor sit in the seat of scoffers!

But his delight is in the law of the LORD,

And in His law he meditates day and night.

He will be like a tree firmly planted by streams of water,

Which yields its fruit in its season

And its leaf does not wither;

And in whatever he does, he prospers.

We were asked to share our thoughts regarding what we thought the psalmist was trying to say, as well as to how we thought the psalm applied to today's time. We were urged to think about something that might need clarified as well as asked if there was anything that stood out to us. This was my response to the reading:

To me the psalmist is sharing how blessed one is when they meditate on the Law of the Lord day and night, constantly feeding their mind with God's truth and wisdom. God's word is a VITAL part of our armor. I believe when a person constantly renews their minds with God's Word, they are able to see through the 'unwise counsel of the wicked'. This is why he who delights in the Lord and his law is strengthened and able to stand firmly like a tree planted by streams of water, yielding fruit. 

The world is full of worldly things as well as worldly people. It is easy to get caught up in the glamour of it all and be pulled into the wake of sinners or to be lulled in by the scoffers of the world. This is why we are advised to put on the full armor of the Lord. Never once are we told it is going to be easy but we are reminded of the treasure we will gain in being devoted to giving God the best part of us each morning and going to Him throughout the day as well as never forgetting to close each day out with a final conversation. In doing so we will prosper because we will always know day by day and minute by minute who we are in Christ and our eyes will always be open to the schemes of the devil.

How does this apply to today? Today is no different than any day since the beginning. Satan is in this world. He wants to keep you out of a relationship with the Lord and he certainly does not want you to discover who you are in Christ. I walked with the Lord as a child but I knew nothing about reading His word. You could easily say I was without a vital part of my armor and I was easily swayed. We all need to study the Word of God; those of us in days gone by, those of us in the world today and those of us yet to come. 

Does something need clarified or refined? Maybe if the Psalmist had switched up the order of His Psalm beginning with He who delights in the law of the Lord and meditates on His Word morning and night, will find himself strengthened and He will be able to stand firmly yielding the fruit of the Spirit despite being surrounded by the doubters and lost of the world. Through it all, he will prosper no matter what the world throws in his direction. 

The phrase that stands out to me is "But his delight is in the law of the Lord and in His law he meditates day and night." This is due to a couple of reasons:

(1) We read in God's Word that the Lord delights in us so it only makes sense that we should delight in Him.

(2) Without beginning and ending your day with God's Word (The Law) one is left open to the fiery arrows that the evil one constantly launches.

Wendy

Today I am thankful that I know who I am in Christ. I am thankful I know that the Holy Spirit is in me and I am thankful that my children think it is okay to giggle in God's house. Had they been laughing during prayer or when someone was talking, I could have understood this woman's reaction. However, they were giggling at each other and the fact that they had thought that they were being given money when that was not the case. I am thankful that I am confident in God's love and don't have to rely on 'playing church'. 

Father today I pray that you continue to teach me your truth. I pray I am successful enough in my studies to one day be an ordained minister. I pray that I always teach the truth and share the Love of God in all I do. In Jesus name I pray! Amen!

Wendy, walks with God, Mom of Many.

© Wendy Glidden 2014

Guard You Mind!

While media will always have its benefits, as a whole, society is reaping more harm than good from it. This is why we must pay close attention to not only how much time we are spending watching and engaging in media; we must also pay close attention to the content we are viewing and allowing our families to view.

One cannot deny the truth that what we put into our minds affects our thoughts, emotions and behavior. This truth is proven through advertising campaigns alone! This is most easily witnessed through children. Having raised 9 of my own, I can attest to the difference there is in walking through the cereal aisle with children who are not exposed to television ads and those that have been exposed to them! The majority of food advertisements found on television are for presweetened cereal, sweets of all kinds including soft drinks, and fast food establishments. Adults are just as easily swayed by what they are told is hot and what is not. This type of marketing along with the extended time spent sitting still either watching television or engaging in some form of social media or game play is wreaking havoc with our overall health. Obesity in both children and adults is increasing at an alarming rate. (Influence on the health and well-being of children and youth, 2003)

The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) believes that children 2 years old and younger should not be exposed to television at all. Their reasoning stems from the fact that the first two years of life are when a child develops critical thinking skills. According to an article they published, they explain that “electronic media can get in the way of exploring, playing and interacting with parents and others, which encourages learning and healthy physical and social development.” (AAP)

When it comes to children who are 2 years and older, the AAP feels that it is important to not only limit the time spent in front of television; parents must pay close attention to the content. Too much television as well as negative content has been proven to be detrimental to children. The AAP also states that when children spend 4 hours or more watching TV, they are more likely to become overweight. They also found that children who view violent content not only tended to be more aggressive themselves, they also had a higher fear that something bad might happen to them; proving that violent content affects children mentally and physically. (AAP)

In a study looking at the psychological effects of viewing negative news items, the research team involved discovered that the participants that viewed the negative news items were significantly more anxious and sadder than those who viewed either the neutral news or the positive news. On top of that, they were also more likely to enlarge their worries. (Graham C.L. Davey, The Psychological Effects of TV News, 2012)

A more recent study of the social media platform, specifically having been focused on Facebook, shows that Facebook has the power to affect a person’s mood. According to a study where the research team focused on weather patterns and the effect they played on people’s moods, they discovered that where it rained, people tended to feel down. When this happened, the people who were dealing with rain, tended to write more negative posts. This had a trickle down effect. Friends of negative posters, tended to be pulled into their own bad mood even when their own weather was nice. Interestingly, they also found that people who had a majority of positive posters were more positive themselves! This proves that what you see and read has an affect on how you feel. Recently, I discovered this truth for myself. Due to required reading for a college class, I had to not only view disturbing articles, I had to think deeply on them and then write reports. One particular essay disturbed my thoughts and affected me mentally for over two weeks! (physchcentral.com)

Another study found that platforms such as Facebook can actually cause people to become miserable. Through the study it was discovered that the amount of use had a direct effect on the user’s state of mind. The results showed that the more time a person spent on Facebook, the more their state of well being declined. (physchcentral.com)

Another study showed that Facebook tends to increase the anxiety levels of its users; so much so that their sleep patterns were being affected. The increase is credited to the constant need for posting updates as well as the increasing need to know what might have been recently posted by others. This desire can cause one to begin thinking it is necessary to constantly check their accounts. With time constraints already pressing on most people, the need to spend more time on Facebook as well as other social media platforms can overwhelm its users. (Physchcentral.com)

A follow up study found that using social media such as Facebook tends to make people feel inadequate. This feeling of inadequacy contributes to higher levels of anxiety. Additional studies have found that programs such as Facebook can increase the amount of social anxiety. They originally thought that by getting to know someone on social media and then meeting them in person would decrease this type of anxiety, but the research has proven otherwise! (physchcentral.com)

If all of this were not alarming enough to our own personal well being, through media of all types including music, studies show ample evidence of the sexualization of women. Further research ties sexualization to eating disorders, low self-esteem and depression or depressed moods. With so much exposure to media images, girls believe that what they see is how they should look and act to be desired or worthy of a man’s attention. There is even evidence from studies showing that men being exposed to a very narrow aspect of what the world sees as attractive, may find it hard to be pleased by any partners that don’t fit into the current media projection of what makes a women worth fighting for. (American Psychological Association)

According to research by Patricia Greenfield, UCLA distinguished professor of psychology and director of the Children’s Digital Media Center, Los Angeles, our analytical and critical thinking skills are on the decline because technology is playing a bigger role in our lives. (UCLA Newsroom)

It is true that media has been around long before our generation ever came to be. There is historical proof of advertising dating back to Ancient Greece. (wikipedia) There really is no way you can completely avoid media. The Holy Bible in all honesty is a form of media. Everyone has to recognize that there are indeed positives that we can gain as a society from the various sources. When we search out what the Word of God has to say when it comes to what we put in our minds, we find advice such as this:

Romans 12:2 NIV: Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is ~ his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Not only does this verse enlighten us that this world has a pattern and that pattern is not a good thing for us to follow, we are told that one can indeed renew their mind. With the knowledge of how we can be affected negatively by all media, we must pay close attention to what we allow ourselves to focus on. This truth is highlighted in the following book of the Holy Bible:

Philippians 4:8-9 NIV: Finally brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable ~ if anything is excellent or praise worthy ~ think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me ~ put into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

With so much evidence proving beyond a shadow of doubt that media as a whole can be detrimental to our well being, we need to use our critical thinking skills to analyze what is good for us and what is not.

References

AAP, reviewed by: Steven Dowshen, MD, October 2011, http://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/family/tv_affects_child.html

1Department of Psychiatry, Children’s Hospital of Eastern Ontario, Division of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, Department of Psychiatry, Department of Pediatrics and School of Psychology, University of Ottawa, Ottawa, Ontario;

2The Hospital for Sick Children, Bloorview Children’s Hospital, Department of Psychiatry, University of Toronto, Toronto, Ontario;

3Department of Family Medicine, Ottawa Hospital Civic Site, Department of Family Medicine, University of Ottawa, Ottawa, Ontario;

4Alberta Children’s Hospital, Rockyview General Hospital, Department of Pediatrics, University of Calgary, Calgary, Alberta;

5Media Awareness Network, Ottawa, Ontario Correspondence: Ms Jan D’Arcy, Media Awareness Network, 1500 Merivale Road, 3rd Floor, Ottawa, Ontario K2E 6Z5. Telephone 613-224-6892, fax 613-224-1958, e-mail ac.ssenerawa-aidem@ycradj,  2003, Pulsus Group Inc. All rights reserved

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2792678/

Graham C.L. Davey, The Psychological Effects of TV News, 2012, http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/why-we-worry/201206/the-psychological-effects-tv-news;

Maldonado, M. (2014). The Anxiety of Facebook. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 22, 2014, from http://psychcentral.com/lib/the-anxiety-of-facebook/

Stuart Wolpert, January 27, 2009, http://newsroom.ucla.edu/releases/is-technology-producing-a-decline-79127

The Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV, 2011, Zondervon Publishing

Wikipedia, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advertising

What is Your Purpose?

Wild Wacky Wonderful Wednesday What Whimsical Wonders Will you remind me of today? I could hardly believe it when I looked out my window and saw snow on the ground and the car! Seeing how it's not even November yet I would certainly count that as both wacky and wild however wonderful and snow don't go together in my book anymore. My children on the other hand were super excited about it all. Just goes to show you it is indeed the way you view things that affects your attitude toward outside circumstances!

Yesterday I went in for my monthly adjustment at Dr. Woods in Westfield. He is the chiropractor that God put in my path. I know this for sure for when I found him in all reality it was his office that had found me. It was around May of this year and while my back has been in major pain since my fall it was at this time that my feet were beginning to swell and swell bigger than they ever had. I knew it was pressure on my spine and I knew things were getting bad by the size of my feet but we were so busy at the office there was simply no way I was going to have any time to look for a chiropractor I could afford. I went to bed both crying and praying for my pain ridden body. That week we received a call from Dr. Woods office offering a free assessment and adjustment in exchange for a can of food. Amazingly enough Dr. Woods is right in Westfield by the Kroger on SR 32 & Carey Road. A mere ten minute drive from my office! I set up an appointment with him that evening after work right before bible study and silently prayed that he would have the hands to help me. Up to that point I had been to several doctors and even massage therapy and at one point I saw a chiropractor for six months but never got better so I stopped going. So the two girls I drive to bible study with met me at Dr. Woods office as we were pushing time with my appointment. When Jean, one of the girls arrived she began telling me she wished I could see her Chiropractor for he was amazing. Right then Doctor Woods walked down the hallway. As it turns out, he was Jeans chiropractor. She was right, he has a gift. Without any equipment, he showed me what was going on with my spine and in an instant I knew I had found my doctor. You could see that the way I had fallen in November 3 years ago was exactly what had caused all this twisting and hip displacement. He put together a plan for getting me back in place and gave me my first adjustment. I was a mess. Jean said she could not believe how much I moved as he adjusted me on the table. Now a few months later with his help I was able to begin lifting my feet up off the floor and slowly my pain level decreased and my agility improved. I knew the only way it was going to get even better was for me to begin some type of physical therapy. I needed to drop some weight, lengthen my muscles again and get my body back. I am amazed as I look in the review mirror and fully see the pieces that God put into place for me. The people that he added to my life and I love how He works. Sure He could have healed me in a moment but this way has been a much more fulfilling process. I have met countless believers in Christ along my walk and my life has been enriched in so many ways.

Those of you who read my posts last week already know I had lost some serious inches and you also know that I do not step on a scale every day or even every week. I believe the scale can kill your momentum. But I do check my weight at the doctors office. So the last time I had stepped on the scale was in August and I tipped the scale at 241 pounds. Yes. It is true. Last night when I stepped on the scale I was hoping for a maximum of 220. I about fell over when the scale balanced itself at 211 pounds. I almost cried. I have not been this light which is still 50 pounds above my goal weight in six years! SIX YEARS!!! I know now that I can make it to my goal weight. I have the formula for success and I have a great team supporting me. I don't even care that the world knows how fat I was, it's not like you couldn't see I was extremely overweight by looking at my picture. If anyone seriously wants to know how I have shrunk or any element of my wellness journey, I would be thrilled to tell you what ever it is you want to know. Write me an email. Friend me on Facebook or like my Facebook fan page and send me a message. Here is the link to my fan page if you are on Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/YouAreWorthyToo I'm almost to 500 likes in my first year! Just know I am here if you need a friend or a partner to support and encourage you along the way. And that counts for not just health and weight loss, but mindset and faith and hope as well. Just saying. My purpose is to give others hope.

I too need hope and encouragement. We all do. I turn to God now for my daily inspiration. I get my first dose via Moody Radio and then a follow up with an encouraging word from K-Love in my email. I keep my study bible on me at all times and look up things often. Here is today's encouraging word form K-Love:

Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. ~ John 15:5, NLT

I love that. I mean it really does not get any more simple than that. Apart from Jesus we are not going to produce fruit. I don't care what else you manage to get done in this life, if you are not producing fruit you simply are not living an abundant life. There is a big difference in being successful in this world and producing fruit in this world. Not that the two can't go hand in hand, but sadly we often see successful people and they are producing no fruit. To me they are not truly successful for I know in my heart when they close the door and are alone, they are empty and void and most likely know they are missing something. Sadly because we have shoved God and Jesus to the back of the room and honestly right out of the entire picture, people aren't even aware that this is what they are missing. Their disconnect from their creator is the cause of their depression, worry, anxiety, fears and everything else that is not good. They are in need of prayers for sure. 

Father I come to you with joy in my heart. You are such an amazing creator. I love your ways. I love all you have done for me. I love how even when I have strayed you have remained faithful. I shake my head with absolute wonder as I look in the review mirror and see how you have always been there. I love how you are stretching and growing me in ways I didn't even know I needed. You are so wise in the way you work. I love everything about my life today. I love the relationship I have with you. Amazing how that changes everything. Just knowing that I am yours. I am forever thankful. Today I ask that you help those who are blind or lost or fumbling in the dark in search for what may cure their problems, their aching hearts, their fears. Lift them Father. Help them feel your presence. I pray they open their hearts and eyes and minds to you, your wisdom and your love Father. May more of us begin to wake up and get to work! In Jesus name I pray. Amen

Wendy, walks with God,

Mom of Many

© Wendy Glidden

Landing on a Ledge

Isn't life funny. So much to do in a given day let alone a week. I have yet to blog on Mike and I. Takes a special moment to be able to drift back in time. I know everything is in God's timing and since that is perfect I do not let not getting something done in my time cause me stress. The words will come just as God wants them to.

I have opened but not had time to share K-Loves encouraging words the last few days. I find it fitting that they perfectly blend well together so I am going to share them in order beginning with Saturdays here all in a row on this Terrific Testimonial Tell All Tuesday. Let's see where the Spirit will lead!

Saturday 10/19/2013

I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd sacrifices his life for the sheep. ~ John, NLT

Sunday 10/20/2013

Jesus told her, "I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying.

~ John, NLT

Monday 10/21/2013

Jesus told him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.

~ John 14:6, NLT

Tuesday 10/22/2013

I tell you the truth, those who listen to my message and believe in God who sent me have eternal life. They will never be condemned for their sins, but they have already passed from death into life.

~ John, NLT 

When you read the four in order doesn't it just make your heart soar? This last Sunday was an emotional one for me. We had the most incredible speaker. Just a humble servant of the Lord, but I believe she moved the entire room. I know she moved me. After already beating a cancerous tumor entangled with her spinal cord, she is now battling brain cancer and smiling about it. She would say something like maybe it is not cancer, maybe it is marital problems or teenage issues or whatever it is, it is not your biggest battle. That one was already taken care of for you on the cross. When you take that and combine it with those 4 quotes of scripture, what she was saying makes perfect sense. Sure what we walk through may be tough but if we keep our focus on the Lord we will make it through the valley and we will soar once more. Should we be at the end of this life and it is not planned for us to continue in this earth suit, it was always the end and we should not morn that, we should rejoice for the best is yet to come. When you truly wrap your mind around grace and eternal life everything truly changes. You can begin to live the abundant life that God intended you to live. 

I just heard an awesome song on the radio. As promised prior for those that cannot see the video on their device this song is titled "My Help Comes From The Lord" and it is performed by Chris Tomlin. 

My morning started out with a text from Mike expressing his love for me and that he longs to be married to me. That he never wants to be apart again and he is very sorry for not thinking before. I don't believe his problem was with thinking or not thinking. I believe his problem was with letting go and accepting that Jesus was Lord over his life. Mike giving up power to anyone was overwhelming to him. I just know it was. Then God striped everything out of his life in one fell swoop. Suddenly, he was without his family, his job and perhaps even his freedom. Now, even though he wants to, he cannot return. It is one thing to be behind bars and miss your family, it is another to be out walking the streets, working your new job, eating meals and be so far away from family you'd see them more were you in jail in your home town than where you are each day. Within his first week in Florida, he was picked up on a violation of probation stemming from 2006. Turns out when we left Florida with permission from his probation officer, with the condition to complete a class prior to May 6th, his probation officer did not get a copy of the class, so he filed a violation on him. Mike did do the class and amazingly enough even though seven full years had passed, I remembered where he had taken the class and they indeed still had his file available. You would think with proof of the completed class prior to May, 2006, the charges would have been dropped, but again no, he goes to court on October 29, 2013. His original probation officer wants 60 days in jail from Mike. That's what happens when you have to leave the state is what he has been told. I refuse to fret no matter what happens. If he has to serve 60 days I know it is because God needs some serious alone time with Mike and that is where they connected the first time. That is where Mike prayed to win my heart before he ever saw or met me. Sometimes you really do go full circle. All I know is with each passing day that we are apart Mike grows a little more and ironically while I too am growing, I am also shrinking. I just imagine how much better in all ways we both will be in the end. We had planned to get married for real on January 18th of next year, the ten year anniversary of our very first kiss, before everything seemed to go haywire. I love how we have come to realize what was truth and what was an attack from the evil one. What Satan intended to destroy has grown stronger. It very much reminds me of the story in Acts of the first church. Time and time again the evil one attacked and out of evil, every time, good was produced and things flourished. I know God uses all evils for good and I have come to love His ways. I could never change Mike or make him grow up myself, but God can do all things. I am thrilled that I had enough Faith in Him to finally let Mike go completely. Look at the fruit that is being produced in the end. 

With that being said, I am reminded of how I fell on that ledge the first time where Mike is concerned. If you have read my first two chapters regarding us, 'How I Fell In Love With Mike' and 'Dissed, Disowned, Disgraced and Darn Near Destitute' you know at this point in our relationship I was madly in love with Mike and was seeming to fall down this never ending mountain day after day and then Wham, it happened. I had a warning that trouble was ahead. The same voice that warned me I would lose my money, asked a simple but gigantic question as I unlocked the doors of the van after I had just walked out of a W.I.C. appointment in Grand Junction Colorado, "What are you going to do when Mike runs into Heather?" It came out of nowhere and literally stopped me in my tracks. I had Tia, Travis and the twins with me at the time and I just halted  in the process of getting everyone loaded up into the car. I asked the question out loud myself and instantly I knew the answer. I would have to let him go. I couldn't shake the feeling or the thought that Mike might not truly be mine after all. But that night, as he wrapped me into his arms, I let that voice fall to the back of my head and tumbled down the mountain side once again deciding I was going to lavish up this love for as long as it was mine. A mere month later I was in the same building with everyone and we were applying for job assistance. Mike said he had to go to the bathroom and he went off on his own. When he returned he was clasping a white piece of paper in his hands. He sat down beside me looking almost ill and when I asked him what was wrong, he said, "I ran into Heather. She gave me her number." I didn't breath. He handed me the paper. I feebly laughed and said, "As if you don't have the number memorized already." He said, "No, I didn't even look at it. She told me I was welcome to come to her as long as I left you and the twins. She is not into children." I was surprised to say the least. I took the number and threw it in the trash hoping silently that that was the end of it. 

** Pausing for a moment to play catch up. The twins were born in Florida. From a heartbeat of almost living on the street, Mike landed a job and through it I landed a babysitting job. The owner of his restaurant had four children needing to be cared for and that fell to me. I never got paid, but we were provided a one bedroom condo in exchange. Sadly shortly before the twins were born it was discovered that this man was corrupt. The restaurant closed and Mike and I quickly managed to get into a two bedroom trailer a few weeks before the twins arrived. Mike found another job as a cook at another restaurant but it was obvious he was not happy. When the twins came, Mike's mom was out of the state so, a friend of Mike's had his wife help us out by staying at our home when we had to go to the hospital so that Tia and Travis were taken care of. Mike let me down a little by getting drunk the night the twins were born. He barely made it back to the hospital that night. He claimed the surgery was too awful for him to stomach and he had to drink to get over it. As I lay recovering from a C-section where I was literally cut and then ripped apart due to the doctor needing more room to get the babies out, Mike was in my bathroom throwing up. He did not have the proper identification to be allowed to sign the girls birth certificate so, to this day he is not listed as their father although they both have his last name. We only stayed in Florida through October. Mike quit his job, we sold all we had, packed up all we could and headed off to Grand Junction, Colorado to go live with his best friend from his childhood, Mike Stark, and that is how we ended up in Colorado. Back to the story.

Less than a week after Mike had his run in with Heather, Mike's best friend who I will call Stark and his girlfriend began arguing over trust issues and somehow it came out of the closet that Mike had all but cheated on me the night the girls were born. Turns out the girl I entrusted to care for my children and drive Mike around as he did not have a valid license at the time and I did not want him getting in trouble in Florida thought they deserved a little fun. She got him drunk and attempted to have sex with him in my van right outside the hospital in the parking lot. No wonder Mike was so sick. As the details came out I found myself barely able to breath. This is when I landed on that ledge and had the air smacked right out of me. My world was spinning so fast I wanted to puke myself. Suddenly I understood what was going on. Like a light was flashed in my head. I looked at him and said, "You are trying to start a fight with me so that you can go to Heather. There is no need for that. Call her, Go to her. I will be okay." It was all I could do to hold myself together and even in reliving, it is so very very very painful. Thinking he might leave me for Heather, his first love was one thing. Thinking he let me lie crying for him in a hospital bed while he considered sleeping with just another girl with no meaning behind her at all had rocked my world. I wept for real that night as he slept. 

Things at his friends house were falling apart rather quickly with the fighting and we moved out of there and ended up in a homeless shelter when they had room and on the streets when they did not. Life was rough to say the least. Tia and Travis were acting out badly demanding they get their dad back. Mike was miserable torn between old and new loves. I could feel his heart was not completely mine and it hurt. As night dawned in the homeless shelter and the children were asleep he reached for me. He pulled me into his arms and attempted to kiss me. I turned my head from him. I know he was surprised by my move. I simply said, "You love someone else, I cannot kiss you." Again I wept myself to sleep. 

The next night Mike insisted we stay out of the shelter so we could talk things out. We did. In the end he decided he did not want to be without his babies and he decided he loved me and Heather had been nothing but a girl who played games with him through out their relationship and he decided he wanted to stay with me. Regardless, looking back, so much damage had been done to my heart. Within one month, I had a pretty good wall built around my heart. So much for someone praying for you meant they would do everything in their power to show you their love every day and would never stray. I no longer felt secure in Mike's love for me. It was a very big pivotal point in our relationship. 

The words have stopped flowing and that may be due to these crazy tears streaming down my face. Mike and I truly are back at the beginning. I am by myself in Indiana raising ironically five children again on my own just like I was when Mike and I finally got together. He is in Florida and praying for me again. He may even come back to me from behind bars like the first time. Ten years later we get to start over only this time we have the best foundation. Our love is built with Christ as our Center, our foundation. Who could pull off something as unbelievable as that but God Himself? Of course He has been involved in our love affair from the very beginning. 

As I wipe my eyes, I am happy to have this chapter behind me once and for all. Mike knew I was going to write on it. He asked the other night, "No way around it eh?" I laughed and said, "No" In sharing there will be healing and indeed there is. Love truly is the greatest of all:

1 Corinthians 13:13: Faith, Hope & Love. The Greatest of These is Love

Father, today I come before you and ask you to lift all those in a relationship that are struggling with Faith and love and hope and hard times. Let them see and feel your love. Help them see that to survive and flourish they must invite you in. When you keep your focus on Jesus it will change the way you talk to and treat one another. Even if only one of them is openly seeking you Father like I was, lift them and fill their faith like you did me Father. Help them be so bright their partner will seek your light as well. Should their be children in the mix Father fill these babies with your love and guidance. Shelter them under your wings. Let them know it's not about them at all father. Be the parent that we hurting parents are not able to always be. In Jesus name I pray. Amen

Wendy, walks with God

Mom of Many

© Wendy Glidden 2013

Super Silly Sing Song Saturday! Are you Smiling?

K-Loves Encouraging word on Saturday 7/20/2013

Your laws are always right; help me to understand them so I may live.

~ Psalm 119:144, NLT 

Good afternoon everyone! I usually don't do much with my blog or my facebook groups on Saturday. I made a promise to my children that the weekends are for family not business. We do the needed mundane daily chores of course, but we focus mainly on God and enjoying our time together as during the week we don't get quality time. 

Many of you have seen various posts about Fantastically Fun-Filled Family Friday, but I have yet to title a blog titled Super Silly Sing Song Saturday! Today that changes! 

My 5 year old starts school this year and I was looking for her birth certificate when I ran across the school box. You know, that box that you put really rememberable things from your child's school years in. I had forgotten about the poem and creative writing folder I had created for Travis when he began the second grade a few years ago. It was the first time as a parent I had been assigned with homework when receiving my child's information packet for the next school year. 

In the sealed packet that Travis brought home was a letter from his  2nd grade teacher. Inside was a request for a decorated binder for creative writing. The instructions asked for us to create it in a way that would inspire our child with ideas they could write short stories about. 

It was my desire to have Travis remember all the fun things we did together as a family. It seemed back then he focused more on what he had not been able to do rather than reflect on the good times. This just made me try to get him to lighten up even more! When he used to get mad at me, I would sing this song to him:

Travis, it's a travesty.
Why are you so Mad At me?
I don't know what I did
You're just a little kid
Travis, it's a travesty.

Sometimes the song worked, other times it did not. The funniest Travis moment for me was when he was in kindergarten. He went in the morning and in the afternoon he ran calls with me. One day we ran home between school and my first estimate that afternoon only to discover Mike and the other children were not home and they had left the play room in shambles. I stopped short and exclaimed, "Travis! It's a travesty." He looked up at me as serious as a kid can and as he shook his head he said, "Oh no it's not!" He exclaimed, "It's a Marrisaty, a Marieity or a Michaelty but it is NOOOOOO travesty."  I laughed so hard I was on the floor in absolute stitches over it. You know what they say about "Out of the mouths of babes"!

When it came to this assignment, I thought long and hard about what might inspire Travis to find the silver lining in situations. I was drumming up ideas to help him find laughter in life. I wanted to provide him with a way to remember all the fun we had had that summer. I began with going through the pictures I had taken over the last year. Then, as I sometimes am, I was inspired to include a poem for him. Travis loves to build and create things and I thought if I gave him an idea of what he could do with pictures and words he might really enjoy learning how to express himself this way. 

So here I am 4 years later looking for Delilah's Birth certificate and I stumbled upon this: 

Reading, writing and arithmetic.

School is fun when you're not sick.

I won the award for going home first.

But being sick is the worst!

This summer I did a lot of stuff.

I still told my mom it was not enough!

I went camping and swimming and to the fair!

I had my mom shave off my hair!

I made a toolbox and rode a train!

I played outside in the rain!

I learned how to swim on my own!

Over the summer how I've grown!

I went down a water slide at Forest Pool

And jumped off the diving board ~ Very Cool

My grandma took me to the Zoo!

There was still so much I wanted to do!

I rode on a jet ski and got lost on the lake!

A map sure would have been wise to take!

Everywhere I went I would meet a new friend!

I wish that the summer was not at the end!

But the seasons they come and they go.

With each passing month I continue to grow.

With determination, I will learn something each day.

And with the spirit of childhood I will continue to play!

Good Luck in the 2nd Grade, Love Mom

2009-2010

There is a reason I renamed the weekends as well as the days of the week. I am sure I am not alone as the only parent who realizes being a parent is hard. You deal with little personalities and trust me many trials and tribulations over the years. I find focusing on Jesus not only helps me be a better person, it helps me be a better parent. It was in the process of me trying to renew my mind daily that I renamed the days of the week.

On Saturday I am reminded that singing praises helps my attitude when the house is falling apart. I try to remember to smile and remain calm through the chaos and to pray for help with what to say. I still find myself calling for order at times in a manner that is louder than I would care to admit, but I'm flesh. I'm human. The difference is I hear the holy spirit convicting me of my righteousness and I am reminded of who I am in Christ. I am sure I will be better at staying calm and getting order faster as well as softer over the next year. I know this will happen for daily I renew my mind with God's word. 

Today I encourage you to take the time to enjoy your family, your parents, your children, your friends and your loved ones. Live life abundantly. Enjoy the good times and be there for each other always. One of the best sounds in the world is laughter. 

Have a Super Silly Sing Song Saturday Everyone! On a side note here is the link to some children stories I wrote back when my oldest two were my only two! http://storiesiwrote4mychildren.blogspot.com/

If you find one you like, share it with others you think might enjoy them too. Have a blessed day everyone!

Father, today I pray that parents strive to pay attention to the wisdom you have shared through your word. I pray more parents share you with their children. I know helping my children build their relationship with you is the best gift I can provide them with. I pray I get better at parenting and encouraging. I am off to enjoy the day you have blessed me with. May the world take the time to smell the flowers, bask in your Love and learn more about You and Your promises so that they share the good news with their children as well as all they know. May we all enjoy more laughter.  In Jesus name I pray! Amen.

Wendy, Mom of many.

© Wendy Glidden 2013

Keeping Jesus in The Middle!

Today is Tremendously Thankful Thoughtful Thursday. As I say it's full name, it makes me inhale deeply as I close my eyes and send a virtual hug to my Heavenly Father. Perhaps it is the word Thankful I placed in it that causes the surge in my heart. I will forever be thankful to God for everything. It's where I am at. I think it's referred to as rest. I am so much better about not fretting. I KNOW my God has it. Whatever ails me, or haunts me, I give it to Him now and it is my Faith that allows me to see the mountains placed in front of me turn to dust. I am blessed for such visions.

Today I am also thankful that I put God in the middle of my marriage to Mike right from the beginning. You see, if you have previously read the blog "A shotgun wedding" you know I never wanted to marry Jeff. I felt like I was robbed. Once divorced, marriage no longer held as much significance to me. So much so that I married my next two husbands for all the wrong reasons. I divorced them without guilt. I had never gone before God and requested his blessing on any of those unions. I never prayed on or over any of those marriages.

When it came to Mike, he was the first man I WANTED to marry. So much so that it caught me off guard. I wanted to be good with God where we were concerned. I remember standing with him, holding hands, looking at each other as we asked God to bless our union and said our vows to each other. We were in his mother's condo. It was February 14th. The same day Michael was conceived. While it may seem weird, I had never felt more married in my life. There was no license involved. There was no witness in the room other than God and the twins. When we finished our vows, my heart soared.

I truly believe Mike and I were meant to be together. I feel blessed to be loved by him. The major factor in me seeking God for help when it came to our marriage honestly has to do with the lack of love Mike was showering me with. It's not that he stopped loving me, it was that his heart was hardening. At one point in our relationship you could say he was so miserable, living with him was overwhelming. I saw so many blessings in our life. I would often ask him, "Why are you so miserable. Look at where we are, what we have together. We are blessed. How can you not see it?" He would all but snarl at me.

At one point I put his oldest son's picture in a collage on our wall. I thought his hardening of the heart was connected to the loss of that relationship. Having his son taken from him had hardened his heart so much so I feared Mike would never find his way to to Faith, Hope and Love. I encouraged him to get in contact with the mother of his child again. Due to how things had abruptly ended between them, Mike's entire family had honored the agreement between Mike's step-father Larry and Sarah. They all felt Mike did not deserve to have any contact with his son. His brother refused to give Mike any contact information. Knowing what I did about Mike's parent's pasts, I was astounded by the judgement and lack of love and understanding from Larry more so than Marie, Mike's mom. Mike's brother refused to give Mike any contact information. He and Mike have a unique relationship for brothers. Mike then begged his mother for a number or an address to write them. His mom, after having Mike promise he would not cause any problems, provided him with a number for a parent or a step parent of Sarah's. She reminded Mike to stay civil in all conversations. Mike called a couple of times and left messages saying he just wanted a chance to build a relationship with his son. No one ever called back. I encouraged him to not give up, but Mike was more negative in those days. He felt defeated in the matter.  This greatly impacted everything. When all seemed hopeless, I turned to God for help. I prayed fervently over it. If you have read my blog, "Show me a sign", you know a little about where our relationship was heading a few years ago. By keeping my focus on Jesus, I was shown how to handle things with love.

This weekend, Mike is going to get to meet his son for the first time since he wrecked his car while in a high speed chase with the police. At that time John was a mere 18 months old. He was in the back seat, strapped in his car seat when that event took place. I find it ironic that he was arrested close to independence day and he will be reunited with his son a few days before independence day 12 years later.

I pray this will bring things full cycle for Mike where his heart is concerned. I know how deeply Mike loves John. He may have an inkling himself, but just like after the birth of our first son Michael, (one of the stories God inspired me with this week), Mike is going to be hit with emotions he has never experienced. All I pray is he feels God with him when the damn breaks and the water rushes forth.

Today Father, I come before You and pray that everyone realizes a marriage without your blessing is nothing more than a legal document. That is it. Nothing less, nothing more. I know this as truth for I have been married to 3 different men with a license to do so. All three marriages failed and in the same manner I was divorced by man's laws. However when I was at my wits end with Mike, I sought out Your blessing to leave him because I sought your blessing to be married to him in the first place. Having you in the middle truly makes all the difference. I pray you open the eyes of all who have curiosity regarding this matter of marriage. I also pray for protection over our trip and Mike's reunion with his son. May the evil one be kept at bay. May he find no entrance to enter into the situation. Fill both Mike and Sarah with a calm that cannot be denied comes from You Father. Allow John to see the love his father truly feels for him. I truly believe it is Your will for these two to be united again and I thank you for again always being Faithful Father. Your Grace is such a gift. Only you can pull of such miracles when it comes to the healing of hearts. Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! In Jesus name I pray. Amen!

I end with a song that touches my heart every time I hear it for the truth it reveals. Enjoy!

Wendy, Mom of Many

© Wendy Glidden 2013

The Aftermath

I know it has been a minute since I blogged about my past. The last chapter totally wiped me out. Who knew a heart could hurt so massively 22 years after the original heartache? For those that are just jumping in, my last blog ended with me going back to the hospital to hold Amanda Rose, the only baby I ever planned, one last time. It ended with me being told she had already been picked up by the couple I had chosen to be her parents and me in shambles. I would highly encourage you to start back at 'In the Beginning' if your interest is peaked.

**

I managed to make it back out of the hospital to my mother's car. I know today that it was by the strength of God that I was able to do so. When I got home I went to my room and bawled until I fell asleep from exhaustion. When I woke the next morning, I was instantly in tears again. I got up and walked into Cassy and Billy's room. I stood there for a moment and then I began tearing their room down. I dis-assembled their bunk bed. Ripped out the rest of the furniture and toys and then the carpet. It had never been tacked down in place so I rolled it up and took it out of the room as well. I then began painting the walls. By the time my mom got home from work, I had put the room completely back together. All of this 3 days after giving birth. I could not stand to sit still for then my mind went straight to Amanda and then I would begin crying all over again. I must have thought about  contacting the adoption agency and telling them I changed my mind a million times. That night I cried myself to sleep again.

The next day, I decided it was time for me to find a job. I had no car so I walked. First I went to Kroger and put in an application. I also stopped off at the Liquor store on the corner and filled out an application. After that I walked and walked and walked. I ended up at Glendale Mall and went to the bookstore. I gazed at the covers of a lot of books but I don't think my eyes actually read any of them. I was trying everything in my power to NOT think about Amanda and I was not having the greatest success. I walked back home before the sun set.

The next day I decided to walk in another direction and I ended up seeing a sign at a Dairy Queen asking for help. I went in, filled out an application and was lucky enough to score a job interview. The owner hired me saying it was based mostly on my smile. I thought that was so ironic because it was a fake smile. It never reached my eyes or my heart. Regardless, I was hired. I told him I could start immediately so I was scheduled to come in the next evening. I was happy to have something to help keep me busy so I didn't have to think.

Within two weeks of starting at Dairy Queen, I had an interview at Kroger. I had also had an interview at the Liquor store. I even went and took their test and got my Liquor License. I was hired there before Kroger but decided something about that job did not feel right so I called in to let the company know I had changed my mind and did not want that job. They ended up getting robbed the night I was supposed to work. I call that divine intervention. I did end up getting the job at Kroger. Now I had a job during the day and one at night. I offered to work as much as they could schedule me at both places. Cassy and Billy were staying with their dad for another 4 weeks so this was my chance to get ahead financially.

By the time Cassy and Billy were back home, I had purchased a bicycle for me to travel back and forth to work. My mother worked during the day so I had located a daycare I could afford. My mother agreed to watch the children in the evening when I worked. Everything was going according to plan. I was keeping myself so busy I did not have a lot of time to dwell on the emptiness that was enveloping me. Within a couple more weeks I ended up moving from Night manager to Store Manager at Dairy Queen. Ironically at the same time I was moved from Deli to 2nd Baker at Kroger. Now I was working from 10 AM to 10 PM at Dairy Queen. I would bike home, take a shower and get into my Kroger uniform and bike there. The next day I began my routine all over again. Up with the children, feed them breakfast, and take them to their daycare. I would then return the car to my mom, jump on my bike and go to work. I worked 6 days a week at Dairy Queen. I Baked 3 times a week at Kroger. I was keeping busy and that was the way I liked it. Within a month of holding the 2nd Baker position, the Head Baker quit at Kroger and I was moved up to her position. Now I was working three nights on, one night off and 3 nights on again at Kroger and still 6 days at Dairy Queen. At Kroger I was 3 day on . . . 3 days off. I began taking a drug for energy that I found in a magazine. The pills I ordered were called Black Beauties. They helped me stay awake on that 3rd night. I liked being so overworked for the mere fact that when I finally got the chance to sleep, it did not take me long to get there. I kept up this routine for almost 3 months! That was when my 2nd baker quit and instead of sleeping after working 72 hours straight, I had to go in to Bake. I don't know what I was thinking that night, but I ended up taking six black beauties that night. By the time my shift was over all I could think was how badly I wanted to go to sleep. I had that day off from Dairy Queen so it was my intention to go home and crash! I have to laugh because there is NO way I would have been able to go to sleep that morning.

I clocked out and headed out into the sunny morning. I jumped on my bike and headed home. I was speeding so hard on the black beauties that I was flying on my bike. I never saw that pot hole, but it stopped me in my tracks. I flew over the handle bars and landed in Keystone Avenue. The last thought I had was, "Man this is going to hurt". When the lights came back on, I found myself staring up at a man who was leaning down into my face. He asked me, "Do you hurt anywhere?" I managed to say, "My face." and tears began flowing from my eyes. He said, "It's bad but I have seen worse." My whole body hurt. In the distance I heard a women hysterically telling someone, she just knew I had broken my neck. I tried to turn to look at her but I could not move. I realized I was on a stretcher and was already strapped down. I could see a fire ambulance and channel 8 news out of the corner of my eye. The fireman got my attention again and said, "I am going to start touching you starting from your shoulders. Let me know what hurts." As soon as he touched my arm I winced. Without hesitation he cut the sleeve on my shirt. I also winced when he got to my hip and again, an article of clothing was cut. I could not believe I was in the middle of the street in basically my panties and bra with a news crew filming away. I lived 3 doors down from the firehouse. They knew who I was and my mom arrived within a minute of my coming too. They loaded me up in the ambulance. I told them I just wanted to go home and sleep but my mother agreed I needed to be checked out. They thought I had several broken bones.

I ended up having ex-rays for almost every part of my body on the right side. Turns out I only had taken a chip out of my skull above my eye socket, given myself a major concussion. Other then that I just had severe bruising. My eye ended up swelling shut and remained that way for over 10 days before I could get it to open a sliver. My face was so black and blue it was bruised for over a month. It is funny how many women will tell you, "You need to leave that man!" when you look like I did. I tried at first to tell them there was no man. I had done this to myself in a bike wreck. They would look at me with pity and say, "Honey, we've heard it all. You need to leave him." After about a week of this, I would just inform them that I had already left him.

My mom was so mad at me, before I even knew it she had taken my pills out of my room. She told me, "You gave up Amanda so that you could be the best mom you could be to Cassy and Billy and all you have done is work yourself almost literally to death." She was right. She insisted I pick one job and deal with my choice for my reasons had been well thought out.

I have no idea why I am crying again. But I am. I am at Play McDonalds with 6 of my youngest so . . . thinking I need to end this chapter here.

Today I pray for all who have heartache for whatever reason. I pray you turn to God and ask Him to help heal your heart. I pray you are strong enough to lean on others. I also pray for those who minister to the heartaches of others. I pray we always allow the Holy Spirit to work through us. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Wendy,
Mom of Many