And All the People Said, "Amen"

As many of you know, I subscribe to K-Love's encouraging word; it is also one of my favorite radio stations. This morning the song 'All the People Said Amen' by Matt Maher began playing and my heart was overjoyed to have all my children sing and dance to the song. It is a catchy tune you know! If you've never listened to it, click on this link and get ready to bust a move!

The more you get to know God, the more you see Him moving in your life with your 'faith eyes' and the more often you find yourself uttering the praise, "Amen". Psalms is one of my favorite books in the bible; who am I kidding lol. In going to college I have taken so many classes, I have been blessed in reading and understanding parts of all 66 books. Regardless, this is the verse I am sharing today:

Know that the Lord, He is God; it is He who has made us and not we ourselves. (Psalm 100:3, my alphabet picture)

I think one of the most interesting things I have read in the last year came from a book called, 'The Fear of the Lord' by John Beverre. In it he shares the truth that in man are the very elements found in the earth. Seeing how man was formed from the earth, it makes perfect sense that this would be the case. However, until I read it, I had never thought much about it. Today I think about it every time I till the soil.

I bring up God alot in my daily conversations with others. I can't help it. Often when someone is sharing things about their life and why they are stressed or worried, I ask them this simple question, "Where are you in your walk with God?"

When you begin walking with the Lord and building your relationship with Him, the biggest thing you will notice is that you are able to find peace in the midst of turmoil and stress no longer holds you in slavery. This stems from the promises He makes His children:

1. Romans 8:28: And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.
2. Psalm 91:15: "He will call upon Me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him. 

When it comes to worry, Jesus lays this to rest with one simple challenge:

Matthew 6:27: "And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?"

These verses, these truths, speak volumes to me for I have seen them play out in my life. Those of you that have read my book know that I did not create an easy path for myself, however, God, true to His promises, has indeed used all of what I thought was rotten and useless and has in turn allowed me to see others blessed by it. I promise you when stuff like that happens you are often left in utter joyful tears. I blogged on such an instance once. I still cannot read this post without crying! Lost or on a Mission?

When it comes to trouble, I often joke that it is my middle name. I know I am not alone in that thought for I have had others tell me the very same thing. As I have built my relationship with the LORD over the last few years, trouble has come barreling down my door. Through it all I have managed to stay positive and at times I have even flourished through it all by leaning on the promises of God. Indeed, He has not only rescued me, he flipped the situation and I have found myself redeemed if not at times honored. Knowing the LORD is FULL of blessings, I encourage you to join a bible study group or better yet, read my past entries and build your own personal relationship with the LORD. It will truly enhance your life no matter what you get sidelined with.

I still have moments where worry tries to grab hold of me, but I have gotten pretty good at raising my shield of faith. I have found humor helps in the midst of worry and that is what I find in the advice Jesus gives on the subject of worry. When it comes to adding an hour to my life, I know that God alone is responsible for that. I say that because I died in a house fire and I was given breath and brought back to life. It is one of the stories in my book You Are Worthy Too: The Proof is in the Pudding!

I know many people have prayed for something and have not seen it come to fruition, I have been in that boat as well. I have also witnessed my prayers being answered and when I read that when I call on Him, He will answer, I also know that this has been the case. I have several stories about answered prayers in my book. Often I read my own stories because oddly enough, they remind me of who I am to God. They remind me of who we all are to God. We are His children. His creation. You can fight against that truth all you want to but it is a fight you will never win. 

I think the most confusing things about God for many are tied directly to the biggest gift he allotted to mankind; free will. God knows your heart, while He may try to reach you through circumstances that take place in this fallen world, one thing He will not do to reach you is strip away your Free Will. 

So, as I have asked many in person, I ask you today, "Where are you in your walk with God?" If you are in a place of doubt, I encourage you to go to Him with that. As I wrote recently in a post titled Come as You are, But Don't Stay There!, God will meet you right where you are. The true question is, "Are you ready to meet God?"

Today I say for you the same prayer said by Paul in his letter to the church in Ephesus:

Ephesians 1:17-19: that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ the Father of glory, may give to you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of Him. [18] I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, [19] and what is the surpassing greatness His power toward us who believe. Amen!

May you be blessed in your travels with the LORD.

Wendy, Mom of Many, walks with God

© Wendy Glidden 2015

Are You a Doubter?

Wild Wacky Wonderful Wednesday! Yea, from 70 degrees yesterday to snow today! Now that would be wacky if you didn't live in Indiana! For us its something we have seen before. That is why Hoosiers are so hardy lol. We roll with the punches as well as any group!!

 

As I read todays encouraging word, I smiled thinking how wild this event, the resurrection of Jesus, must have been at the time. I know it sounds wild in the reading of it.

 

I love the bible and all of its crazy happenings and recounts. I have crazy stories myself so it is easy for me to believe that such things could have taken place!

 

I am so excited to get this next book out. I was so busy worrying about my front and back matter that I was paralyzed in place once again. Then the day before, as I was working out of all times, God gave me what I needed for my Dear Reader letter. Then one of my bonus chapters came together for me while working on the house. When you chat it up with God, He often speaks when you least expect it! Just another way you know it is Him. I love His ways.

 

Here is the encouraging word I was given courtesy of K-Love this morning:

 

Then he said to Thomas, "Put your finger here, and look at my hands. Put your hand into the wound in my side. Don't be faithless any longer. Believe!" ~ John 20:27, NLT

Thomas is known as doubting Thomas. However the others would have most likely been the doubters had they not seen Jesus for themselves.

 

We are asked to have faith without sight but in all honesty as you draw closer to God your eyes begin to see things that have no explanation other than God had a hand in it. Often we call these miracles.

 

Faith is simply believing that God has you no matter what seems to be going on. It's in trusting that He will work out all things for your good. It can be scary at first until you personally witness events for yourself. Sometimes faith can be born from hearing a story from someone else and the seed of curiosity is planted and you begin seeking. This is all it takes. When you come to the Father, like in the story of the two sons, the Father is joyous and welcomes you home with open arms.

 

Keep seeking and He will continually show up in countless ways. Trust in Him, pray to Him, talk to Him, share your heart, your fears, your dreams. He loves to have a relationship with His children. All relationships take a little work. Building your relationship with your Heavenly Father will actually improve all of your relationships! Well worth the effort!

 

I have much to get finished today so that I can work on my next book. I consider myself very blessed to have so many stories to share with the world. We are meant to share our stories for it strengthens not only our faith but others as well. I love when Paul says in one of his letters that he looks forward to encouraging others when he sees them again but also looks forward to being encouraged by them. 

 

Satan is always on the prowl. He longs to destroy your Faith. When we come together and share our stories and encourage one another, we in a way protect ourselves from the enemy. This is always a good thing. While at times it may be scary to share your story and the truth of who you once were, we are actually encouraged to share for it is in the sharing of our testimony that others will be saved. 

 

Be blessed and Be a blessing!

 

Father I come to you today with joy in my heart. I am so grateful for my story. I pray it brings many to you. As you know I have always wanted to be a part in saving lives. While as a child I did not fully understand what, why or how, I love what you have done through me. I am so blessed by messages I receive from others. I could not imagine a better life. Thank you. I pray also for strength and time and peace and protection so that I may finally sit down and finish this third book you placed on my heart to write. I pray that it causes countless sleeping children to wake up and clear the sleep from their eyes. May the too hear the calling Father. May they become bold and willing to share their own stories. Use me to my fullest potential Father and thank you for giving me large signs as I pray for them. Thank you for loving me just as I am and thank you for all your many daily blessings. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

 

Wendy Glidden, walks with God

Mom of Many

 

© Wendy Glidden 2014

Landing on a Ledge

Isn't life funny. So much to do in a given day let alone a week. I have yet to blog on Mike and I. Takes a special moment to be able to drift back in time. I know everything is in God's timing and since that is perfect I do not let not getting something done in my time cause me stress. The words will come just as God wants them to.

I have opened but not had time to share K-Loves encouraging words the last few days. I find it fitting that they perfectly blend well together so I am going to share them in order beginning with Saturdays here all in a row on this Terrific Testimonial Tell All Tuesday. Let's see where the Spirit will lead!

Saturday 10/19/2013

I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd sacrifices his life for the sheep. ~ John, NLT

Sunday 10/20/2013

Jesus told her, "I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying.

~ John, NLT

Monday 10/21/2013

Jesus told him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.

~ John 14:6, NLT

Tuesday 10/22/2013

I tell you the truth, those who listen to my message and believe in God who sent me have eternal life. They will never be condemned for their sins, but they have already passed from death into life.

~ John, NLT 

When you read the four in order doesn't it just make your heart soar? This last Sunday was an emotional one for me. We had the most incredible speaker. Just a humble servant of the Lord, but I believe she moved the entire room. I know she moved me. After already beating a cancerous tumor entangled with her spinal cord, she is now battling brain cancer and smiling about it. She would say something like maybe it is not cancer, maybe it is marital problems or teenage issues or whatever it is, it is not your biggest battle. That one was already taken care of for you on the cross. When you take that and combine it with those 4 quotes of scripture, what she was saying makes perfect sense. Sure what we walk through may be tough but if we keep our focus on the Lord we will make it through the valley and we will soar once more. Should we be at the end of this life and it is not planned for us to continue in this earth suit, it was always the end and we should not morn that, we should rejoice for the best is yet to come. When you truly wrap your mind around grace and eternal life everything truly changes. You can begin to live the abundant life that God intended you to live. 

I just heard an awesome song on the radio. As promised prior for those that cannot see the video on their device this song is titled "My Help Comes From The Lord" and it is performed by Chris Tomlin. 

My morning started out with a text from Mike expressing his love for me and that he longs to be married to me. That he never wants to be apart again and he is very sorry for not thinking before. I don't believe his problem was with thinking or not thinking. I believe his problem was with letting go and accepting that Jesus was Lord over his life. Mike giving up power to anyone was overwhelming to him. I just know it was. Then God striped everything out of his life in one fell swoop. Suddenly, he was without his family, his job and perhaps even his freedom. Now, even though he wants to, he cannot return. It is one thing to be behind bars and miss your family, it is another to be out walking the streets, working your new job, eating meals and be so far away from family you'd see them more were you in jail in your home town than where you are each day. Within his first week in Florida, he was picked up on a violation of probation stemming from 2006. Turns out when we left Florida with permission from his probation officer, with the condition to complete a class prior to May 6th, his probation officer did not get a copy of the class, so he filed a violation on him. Mike did do the class and amazingly enough even though seven full years had passed, I remembered where he had taken the class and they indeed still had his file available. You would think with proof of the completed class prior to May, 2006, the charges would have been dropped, but again no, he goes to court on October 29, 2013. His original probation officer wants 60 days in jail from Mike. That's what happens when you have to leave the state is what he has been told. I refuse to fret no matter what happens. If he has to serve 60 days I know it is because God needs some serious alone time with Mike and that is where they connected the first time. That is where Mike prayed to win my heart before he ever saw or met me. Sometimes you really do go full circle. All I know is with each passing day that we are apart Mike grows a little more and ironically while I too am growing, I am also shrinking. I just imagine how much better in all ways we both will be in the end. We had planned to get married for real on January 18th of next year, the ten year anniversary of our very first kiss, before everything seemed to go haywire. I love how we have come to realize what was truth and what was an attack from the evil one. What Satan intended to destroy has grown stronger. It very much reminds me of the story in Acts of the first church. Time and time again the evil one attacked and out of evil, every time, good was produced and things flourished. I know God uses all evils for good and I have come to love His ways. I could never change Mike or make him grow up myself, but God can do all things. I am thrilled that I had enough Faith in Him to finally let Mike go completely. Look at the fruit that is being produced in the end. 

With that being said, I am reminded of how I fell on that ledge the first time where Mike is concerned. If you have read my first two chapters regarding us, 'How I Fell In Love With Mike' and 'Dissed, Disowned, Disgraced and Darn Near Destitute' you know at this point in our relationship I was madly in love with Mike and was seeming to fall down this never ending mountain day after day and then Wham, it happened. I had a warning that trouble was ahead. The same voice that warned me I would lose my money, asked a simple but gigantic question as I unlocked the doors of the van after I had just walked out of a W.I.C. appointment in Grand Junction Colorado, "What are you going to do when Mike runs into Heather?" It came out of nowhere and literally stopped me in my tracks. I had Tia, Travis and the twins with me at the time and I just halted  in the process of getting everyone loaded up into the car. I asked the question out loud myself and instantly I knew the answer. I would have to let him go. I couldn't shake the feeling or the thought that Mike might not truly be mine after all. But that night, as he wrapped me into his arms, I let that voice fall to the back of my head and tumbled down the mountain side once again deciding I was going to lavish up this love for as long as it was mine. A mere month later I was in the same building with everyone and we were applying for job assistance. Mike said he had to go to the bathroom and he went off on his own. When he returned he was clasping a white piece of paper in his hands. He sat down beside me looking almost ill and when I asked him what was wrong, he said, "I ran into Heather. She gave me her number." I didn't breath. He handed me the paper. I feebly laughed and said, "As if you don't have the number memorized already." He said, "No, I didn't even look at it. She told me I was welcome to come to her as long as I left you and the twins. She is not into children." I was surprised to say the least. I took the number and threw it in the trash hoping silently that that was the end of it. 

** Pausing for a moment to play catch up. The twins were born in Florida. From a heartbeat of almost living on the street, Mike landed a job and through it I landed a babysitting job. The owner of his restaurant had four children needing to be cared for and that fell to me. I never got paid, but we were provided a one bedroom condo in exchange. Sadly shortly before the twins were born it was discovered that this man was corrupt. The restaurant closed and Mike and I quickly managed to get into a two bedroom trailer a few weeks before the twins arrived. Mike found another job as a cook at another restaurant but it was obvious he was not happy. When the twins came, Mike's mom was out of the state so, a friend of Mike's had his wife help us out by staying at our home when we had to go to the hospital so that Tia and Travis were taken care of. Mike let me down a little by getting drunk the night the twins were born. He barely made it back to the hospital that night. He claimed the surgery was too awful for him to stomach and he had to drink to get over it. As I lay recovering from a C-section where I was literally cut and then ripped apart due to the doctor needing more room to get the babies out, Mike was in my bathroom throwing up. He did not have the proper identification to be allowed to sign the girls birth certificate so, to this day he is not listed as their father although they both have his last name. We only stayed in Florida through October. Mike quit his job, we sold all we had, packed up all we could and headed off to Grand Junction, Colorado to go live with his best friend from his childhood, Mike Stark, and that is how we ended up in Colorado. Back to the story.

Less than a week after Mike had his run in with Heather, Mike's best friend who I will call Stark and his girlfriend began arguing over trust issues and somehow it came out of the closet that Mike had all but cheated on me the night the girls were born. Turns out the girl I entrusted to care for my children and drive Mike around as he did not have a valid license at the time and I did not want him getting in trouble in Florida thought they deserved a little fun. She got him drunk and attempted to have sex with him in my van right outside the hospital in the parking lot. No wonder Mike was so sick. As the details came out I found myself barely able to breath. This is when I landed on that ledge and had the air smacked right out of me. My world was spinning so fast I wanted to puke myself. Suddenly I understood what was going on. Like a light was flashed in my head. I looked at him and said, "You are trying to start a fight with me so that you can go to Heather. There is no need for that. Call her, Go to her. I will be okay." It was all I could do to hold myself together and even in reliving, it is so very very very painful. Thinking he might leave me for Heather, his first love was one thing. Thinking he let me lie crying for him in a hospital bed while he considered sleeping with just another girl with no meaning behind her at all had rocked my world. I wept for real that night as he slept. 

Things at his friends house were falling apart rather quickly with the fighting and we moved out of there and ended up in a homeless shelter when they had room and on the streets when they did not. Life was rough to say the least. Tia and Travis were acting out badly demanding they get their dad back. Mike was miserable torn between old and new loves. I could feel his heart was not completely mine and it hurt. As night dawned in the homeless shelter and the children were asleep he reached for me. He pulled me into his arms and attempted to kiss me. I turned my head from him. I know he was surprised by my move. I simply said, "You love someone else, I cannot kiss you." Again I wept myself to sleep. 

The next night Mike insisted we stay out of the shelter so we could talk things out. We did. In the end he decided he did not want to be without his babies and he decided he loved me and Heather had been nothing but a girl who played games with him through out their relationship and he decided he wanted to stay with me. Regardless, looking back, so much damage had been done to my heart. Within one month, I had a pretty good wall built around my heart. So much for someone praying for you meant they would do everything in their power to show you their love every day and would never stray. I no longer felt secure in Mike's love for me. It was a very big pivotal point in our relationship. 

The words have stopped flowing and that may be due to these crazy tears streaming down my face. Mike and I truly are back at the beginning. I am by myself in Indiana raising ironically five children again on my own just like I was when Mike and I finally got together. He is in Florida and praying for me again. He may even come back to me from behind bars like the first time. Ten years later we get to start over only this time we have the best foundation. Our love is built with Christ as our Center, our foundation. Who could pull off something as unbelievable as that but God Himself? Of course He has been involved in our love affair from the very beginning. 

As I wipe my eyes, I am happy to have this chapter behind me once and for all. Mike knew I was going to write on it. He asked the other night, "No way around it eh?" I laughed and said, "No" In sharing there will be healing and indeed there is. Love truly is the greatest of all:

1 Corinthians 13:13: Faith, Hope & Love. The Greatest of These is Love

Father, today I come before you and ask you to lift all those in a relationship that are struggling with Faith and love and hope and hard times. Let them see and feel your love. Help them see that to survive and flourish they must invite you in. When you keep your focus on Jesus it will change the way you talk to and treat one another. Even if only one of them is openly seeking you Father like I was, lift them and fill their faith like you did me Father. Help them be so bright their partner will seek your light as well. Should their be children in the mix Father fill these babies with your love and guidance. Shelter them under your wings. Let them know it's not about them at all father. Be the parent that we hurting parents are not able to always be. In Jesus name I pray. Amen

Wendy, walks with God

Mom of Many

© Wendy Glidden 2013

Better Off With God!

Super Silly Sing Song Saturday. I have been listening to a lot of songs today. I drove around aimlessly as I waited for my hotel room to open up for the night. Mike and his mom went to Chicago to watch a Cubs game so I know they will be coming through Indiana again to grab his jeep on the way back to Florida.

It breaks my heart that he is going to truly be removed from my life. I know it was the second part of my prayer to have him removed should he not be open to becoming a man after God's heart, but seeing him so at peace about leaving me and his children behind and going on with his life hurts so badly it is all I can do to not fall apart.

In the process of singing with the songs on K-Love earlier, as tears streamed down my face off and on, I heard the greatest song. It is by Sanctus Real. Here is the link to the you tube video I managed to find of it.

I decided to get a hotel room tonight so I could have a place to crash on a real bed and honestly so I could also have a place to lay down where I can finally cry my eyes out. I am human after all. I devoted almost 10 years of my life to loving this man that I once fooled myself into thinking was mine. I watch our children play and I just don't get how he couldn't love our life. It is painful to say the least. I would love to go home and sleep in my own bed, but I am afraid to stay at our home until I know he is not going to be coming back for good. I need to stay strong. He called me last night and asked if I would come spend the night with him. I told him no. I have had countless people come forward and comment how light cannot be with dark. I had several women friends share with me that they knew I was not supposed to be with Mike but mentioned they could not tell me for that type of truth one has to discover for themselves for it to be truly received. Deep inside I have known it for a while. I am stubborn. I thought with enough prayer God would intervene. Sadly there is this crazy thing God granted us with. Free Will. Mike has his own free will and it currently has no desire to listen to God's word.

I have also received messages praising me for my faith. Please know I am just a girl after God's heart. The more I learned about His Word, the more I longed to follow Jesus, the more my eyes were opened to the life I was living with Mike. It was out of a righteous anger that I spouted off my prayer late Thursday night before I went to bed. My grandma always told me, "Be careful what you ask for, you just may get it." Boy did I ever get it. I know this is right. I belong to Christ. I am His. Like this song explains, "Whatever You're doing inside of me, It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace." I would type all the words within this blog for they all hit so right on. It's as close as I can put my feelings into words. I don't think I have ever heard this song before today. I was surprised to see it was uploaded onto YouTube three years ago. 

I am ready for God to open up my world. There is a peace in knowing that Mike is not going to show up with his negativity. In the same breath my heart lurches for I know I will not be with Mike again and that fact hits my heart with such a force it takes my very breath away. How can it hurt so bad to know he will move on as if I never mattered. I guess that is my flesh. For my heart tells me in closing this door I am about to have my world open up in ways only the deepest recesses of my heart have been allowed to desire. I have always longed to be a servant of the Lord. I have always wanted to enhance the lives of others. I have always longed to be a ray of sunshine in the dark corners of the world for others to see. God must know this about me for it says he knows all of your heart. If it is true that the righteous will have the desires of their hearts I can only imagine how blessed my life is about to become. Better than anything I could have ever dreamed up. That is what I am trying to keep my focus on. Peace, Hope, Faith, Joy and Love. 

I had this back flash hit me yesterday as I was in the office. It was a memory from two decades ago of me reading a very detailed horoscope book. In a gist my horoscope claimed I would be better off alone as I was difficult to please, love and live with. It claimed I demanded too much out of a partner and few would be able to withstand me. It recommended I stay alone and never marry!

I realized yesterday that there was truth to what that book claimed but there was also a very big lie with it. This book was put together without God's word. It is another reason one should not dally in such things. The lies stick with you for decades. You see, I have come to understand that I may be difficult for those who are separated from God to love but those that live in his truth will always find me lovable enough. The sad thing is there are less and less men interested in being followers of Christ. The majority that are, are already taken. I feel I will be without a human partner for the rest of my life and I am okay with that now. I have given my life to Christ. I belong to him. He is sufficient. He loves me the way I deserve to be loved. The way I have longed to be loved all this time. I have spent so many wasted years showing man after man after man the love I have to offer only to have it be unappreciated almost as if it were unseen. I know with my desire to be loved, I have gone to lengths other partners would refuse to. I felt I had to, being so unlovable. I spent countless years of my life wondering what it was about me that made me so unlovable. Now I know, it is not me, it is the broken empty men that have been thrown into my path to keep me from fulfilling my purpose. My fellow brothers and sisters in Christ love me. God loves me. Jesus loves me. That will have to suffice for I have no desire to devote another minute to another male partner that needs a ray of hope. I will forever show them the love of Christ but nothing more. I will not be snared in a trap again. I will not be waylayed from God's promises ever again. My horoscope may have claimed I was better off alone but today I know I am better off with God!

Father, I do feel as if a tornado is whipping around inside of me. How is it possible to be at peace and feel like my heart is being crushed in the same breath. It is absolute chaos and I ask you to remove the pain. Take away this ache for I know it is aching for what never was. It is aching over the loss of time. It is aching due to being fooled for I have been a most foolish girl thinking I could fill the hole in my heart with a man. Only you can give me my hearts desires of my heart. I am tired of keeping busy trying to keep a man. Fill my life so full of your work that I have no desire to be sidetracked. Keep my focus on you Lord. Keep my hands busy and fill my life with work. Use me for what you created me for. I am ready Father. I am your humble servant. Prepare me for all you have for me. Reveal it. Put me to it. Please do not allow me to be idle. Thank you for removing the obstacles that satan has attempted to use to steal my joy, kill my dreams and destroy my purpose. Thank you for always having me. Thank you for my beautiful babies. I am so sorry I stumbled in my faith and did not accept three of those blessings. I have often wondered would I already have been fulfilling my purpose had I just trusted in you all along. Thank you Father for never giving up on me like I gave up on you. I wish I had known about your word in my younger years. I am blessed to have been enlightened now. Thank you for not allowing me to continue to wander in the dark. While I hurt today, I trust it will not last long. I love you Father. Thank you. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Wendy, walks with God

Mom of Many 

© Wendy Glidden 2013