How to Nourish One's Faith!

It's marvelously magnificent miraculous Monday and it is the last one we'll have this year! What a crazy year this one has been for me. From finally getting it through my head that God forgave me for all my sins way before I was even born and had had the chance to sin, to the truth that He has forgiven every transgression I will commit until the day I die. That in itself was major!

The big deal for me this year would have to have been the testing of my faith. As I begin to put various posts together for my first e-book, I have of course been going back and reading much of what I have shared this year. I am amazed at what all I have witnessed even though it was through Faith that God always has me that carried me through it. Regardless, when you look in the rear view mirror, your faith can sometimes be increased. This is definitely the case for me.

One of the most amazing things I witnessed this last year would have to be the change in my brother. God led me to help him last year. I even blogged about it for I had no idea how I could help him. As it turned out God needed me to pray for him.

You see, back in 1998, my brother went into a stress center and came out diagnosed as bipolar II. I never thought that was the correct diagnosis for my brother but I had no say when it came to him. For 15 long years my brother was not my brother. The medicine they placed him on turned him into a drone. Every now and then, he'd stop taking all that medication and sadly he would always land himself in some type of trouble and find himself placed on even worse medication. The kind of medication that I believe throws a person in a deep dark well that they cannot communicate from. Therefore, when they do come out, they have years of thoughts all trying to come out at once. I knew in my heart that was the case for my brother but finding someone in the medical field willing to take the time to listen and actually figure things out is next to impossible. That is, until you reach out to God for help. I had enough faith that I did as I was led to do by the spirit and I prayed for my brother as well as anyone else that might be fighting the same type of demon. This took place right before Christmas for the details of all of this are in a post where I was trying to view Christmas in a different way. I think I called it Mas Christ in an attempt to add more of the teaching of Jesus into not only that one day but all year long.

Shortly after I prayed for my brother, he was incarcerated for the first time in his life. Personally I hated it, but I knew God is always faithful and I knew he uses anything bad for something good so, I continued to pray for him to receive true help in the medical field. He was released from jail late January of this year and our sister had him move in with her for she lived in one of two counties where they have a medical establishment set up that is designed to truly help a person, not just over medicate them. The only thing we needed was for my brother to comply on his own to go see them. That did not happen so, I continued to pray for him. Within the first month of living with my sister, my brother had a panic attack and called 911. Very quickly the staff knew he needed the help of this facility and they took him there. As it turns out, my brother is not bipolar and he truly was being medicated incorrectly. Today my brother is himself again. He has his own place, he smiles and laughs and is capable of living a normal life. No longer held in the bondage of over medication with no hope out of the dark well he'd been cast into. This was a gigantic reminder for me that God is always faithful and He truly loves all of us.

This morning I awoke refreshed and excited for this next big step I am taking. When I arrived at work and opened my email, this is the encouraging word I found courtesy of K-Love:

Search for the Lord and for his strength; continually seek him. ~ 1 Corinthians 16:11, NLT

If I was to give anyone advice, I think this would be it in a nutshell. I know many people get in a jam, they throw up a half heartfelt prayer, but it has no faith within it. They base their belief in God's power on the results they allow themselves to see and sadly many buy into some lie about God not being for them or not being powerful enough or even worse that He is not good or faithful. My heart breaks for them.

Faith is something that truly grows over time. It can begin with a burst, but it is something you need to nourish. How do you nourish Faith? By feeding it with the Word of God, continually seeking and praying, and opening your eyes a little wider so you can see the silver lining around things. 

Satan will do anything and everything to destroy your faith. I know this for I allowed the father of lies to keep me busy and off track for decades. Read my story and you will quickly see how even those full of faith can be tricked through the evil one's connivery.

Over the weekend, I began a new journey. All year I have been saying I want to write a book, I need to write a book. Now I can actually say, "I have begun the process of having my book edited and prepared for publishing!" I am not going to get it done before the end of this year, but I will have more than one published by this time next year!

How did it all begin? I stepped out in Faith 

Be blessed and be a blessing 

Wendy, walks with God,
Mom of Many

© Wendy Glidden 2013

Revenge is NOT Sweet!

What better day than wild wacky wonderful Wednesday to dive back into ones past. I had been on a pretty good trend of typing out my life events up until the time that I gave a baby up for adoption. I managed to squeak out the next post entitled "The Aftermath" and then one more where I had a back flash on why I believe Bruce left me before we made it to the alter. From there I jumped more to present time and various topics I felt led to write on.

Here lately though God has been flashing things across my brain again. I know it is Him doing it for while what I have to share gives me pause God has been making me giggle about it. Just like he did when I was to the point of having to share when I was molested on the side of the road at a young age of 14.

While that event was something I would have preferred to keep tucked away in the deepest recesses it is nothing compared to what I have to share about things I did of my own accord in my twenties. Free will. You just have to accept that sometimes we make really bad decisions when we cut ourselves off from the Lord.

So, where to pick this up. If you have read my blog entitled, "How I came to know God", you know that I had been caught smoking cigarettes as a child and punished for it. I had prayed to God when it came to facing my punishment from my father and had promised to never smoke cigarettes again as long as I would not be spanked.

So here I was, age 22, still alive but honestly dead inside. After my bike wreck my mother had forced me to pick one job and I had chosen Dairy Queen. I ended up dating a guy from work and within a couple of months he moved in with me. I threw a New Year's Eve party at my home for all my employees and a couple of my friends. I did not know that the guy living with me had made out with another one of my employees until the day he left me for her. Then as often happens everyone steps forward to share what they knew about the situation.

You could say what I learned made me angry as if I needed any help in that direction. I was so tired of being hurt by men I honestly was out to hurt a man myself.

That spring I did some really crazy stuff. Any guy that hit on me, I allowed him to take me on a date. I was not myself. I gave nothing and took what they had to offer. I was even a little mean about it all. I went out to eat, out to movies and then I would simply never answer their call again. I was just out to use them. After all, I figured in the end that was what they had intended to do to me.

All the while my irritation grew at my ex and my ex-friend. Yes, the girl that had taken my man was supposedly a friend. I don't know why I ended up doing what I ended up doing and in no way am I proud of it, but let's just dive into the heart of what went down.

I was on my way down to French Lick to pick my children up from their visit to their dad's when I stopped in at a gas station. I very badly wanted to be out of my head for a moment. I did not do drugs or drink at the time, but I recalled cigarettes would give you a funny feeling. In the heat of the moment I bought a pack and a lighter. I got outside opened them up, got one out and lit it. I remember looking up at the heavens and calling out, "I'm breaking my promise. What are you going to do about it?"

Of course no lightening bolt came down from heaven, so I got a little bolder and continued, "Just as I thought, absolutely nothing. I guess you are as done with me as I am with you." I muttered to myself. A big part of me seriously wished a lightning bolt would have struck me and put me out of my misery but one did not.

I never intended on becoming a smoker when I lit that first one for I hated everything about cigarettes, but I remained a smoker for two decades! At first I only had a couple at night but within that first year that changed to smoking at work, in the car and wherever I was.

Shortly after I began smoking cigarettes, I ran into the so called friend that had stolen my guy and to this day I don't know why I did what I did, but I know I did it. I re-friended her. I pretended that I was happy she and my ex were happy together and planning on getting married.

She invited me over for a hang out and I went. You could say he was surprised to see me. I played very non-nonchalant that first visit. Next, I was invited to a party they were throwing and I went hell bent on breaking them up. I'm not going to beat around the bush here. It was a party with drinking involved. Before the night was over I had slept with her man who was originally my man and then I proudly informed her of what had happened and I left. The next morning I woke up feeling horrible about the situation. I remember walking into the bathroom and clearly hearing the question, "So, tell me, is revenge sweet?"

"No," I answered to an empty room, "Revenge is not sweet, it is very bitter."

This was by far one of my least proud moments. I did not understand then why I had even done something so awful to another human being. Just because she had done it to me first did not make my actions okay.

Today, I know that I allowed my emotions; anger, resentment, jealousy just to name a few, to take over. This is all the evil one needs to use us against each other and use me he did. From here I just sunk further and further into the pit of hell as I refer to it.

I am happy to have told the truth about myself regarding being a home wrecker. While there were no children, these two seemed to be happy with their lives before 'wrecking ball Wendy' came in and knocked some holes into the walls!

My feelings about myself were reeled into even more darkness for this same man showed up at my house crying saying he loved me and wanted me back. He knew I was inside because my car was in the drive way. I know he did not truly love me, but I was freaked out by it all. I did not take him back. I didn't even open my front door.

I almost ended up going back to Jeff after this incident. I was so sure all men were rotten and I was beginning to believe I was under some curse for trying to out wit God and then not staying in my marriage that I thought I was supposed to go back to him and live with him until death do us part. I ended up seeing him a few times and very quickly realized I'd rather be dead then spend the rest of my life un-cherished and unloved than be with someone I did not truly love myself.

I guess this is as good a place as any to share today's encouraging word from K-Love:

Love each other deeply with all your heart. ~ 1 Peter 1:22b, NLT

Sometimes loving others means being kind enough to not lead them on or hurt them. I have not always been the best at this as I have clearly explained. I would like to point out that I did these things in a season of darkness. I am not proud of them but they are truths from my closet. Shoes I wore and stomped around in. Shoes I tried my best to wash off and stash in the back of my closet. No matter how hard you clean some shoes, the only true way to clean them is to come clean yourself. I believe this is what I have done. 

My advice to anyone dealing with rejection, heartache, jealousy, anger, resentment, or any other emotion not tied to Love, give it to God and let it go. Don't allow it to eat you alive, literally. The evil one loves these emotions. He will use you as a weapon. Don't allow that to happen. Trust me, revenge is not sweet at all. Twenty years later, I would love the opportunity to tell that girl I am sorry for my actions. 

Father, today I pray for all hurting hearts. I pray that they come to you and give up those emotions that bring no goodness with them. I thank you Father for taking me back. My outright defiance and rudeness to you would be acts undeserving of forgiveness but that is not the type of Father you are. I am so blessed to be so loved by you. I ask that you hold my hand as I go forward and continue to share more shoes that I never wanted to drag out of that closet of mine ever ever again. I know you are always with me and I know you are always faithful and I am so very thankful for that Father. As I see how far I have come I get choked up for in seeing I also see clearly the love you hold for your children. May more of my brothers and sisters also begin to see that truth about you Father. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Wendy, walks with God

Mom of Many

© Wendy Glidden 2013

Rejoice!

Totally Tripping Tremendously Thankful Thoroughly Thoughtful Thursday! Today I am thankful I was able to keep my wits about me last night and in complete darkness while freezing, along with God's help, solve the mystery of no electricity and was able to get the heat back on. I must admit when I finished, I shot Mike a text and at first I was laughing. I think it would have to be classified as relief laughter which is also known as hysteria and then I immediately burst into tears. I miss him. He is my MacGyver. Had he been home, I could have rested under the warm blankets knowing he would fix the problem. Many might be surprised to know when Mike has a big problem on his hands he calls upon the Lord for help. I have witnessed him be against a wall and then pray and end up doing amazing things and you just know that wisdom to accomplish that task came from the Lord. There is simply no denying it. Not having him here to lean on pains me. I still have to fix the bigger problem because I am only able to run the heat right now. No lights, no TV, nothing but heat. However, when it boils right down to it, heat is the most important of those. I did cry out to God myself for help with getting the heat back on as I crawled around in the dark wondering where a flash light might be. I thank Him for showing me what to do last night for indeed it was as if a light bulb went off in my head and I just tried what came to me out of nowhere. Sure enough it worked. God in one fell swoop showed me both that He would always have me covered yet life is surely easier with a help mate to lean on.

I found an old CD that I had purchased over a year ago after service on a Sunday. A christian folk singer named Rick Stump had led our song worship that morning and I loved everything he sang. I was so thrilled to have stumbled upon it again. I had just wondered where it might be the other day. You see, for the last few weeks I have only had the girls 'One Girl Nation' Cd to listen to for music. I can get Moody radio to come in but that is it in the car. When going to an event at the children's school, I had put Jeffrey on the trunk of the car to put on his shoes and he broke my antenna and promptly yanked it all the way out! Somehow I managed to get it in far enough to pick up one radio station! The only station it will pick up is Moody Radio. I find that so funny because when we bought that car, every station was programmed to Moody Radio and that is how I found and fell in love with them! God gave me that car and through it is how I came to own the RV that I am living in right now. Long stories that I have yet to share. So much writing I need to get to. I keep wondering when God is going to allow me more time to simply write. My life is so busy and if it were not for the Lord I would be so lost right now. That is the biggest thing I am thankful for. My relationship with the Lord. Anyway, when traveling in the car with all the children, listening to a talk program is not always easy. I loved to turn on K-Love during those times but that station will not come in! With another CD to listen to and be it one I hadn't heard for over a year, I was thrilled as we headed off to the laundry mat last night with our new tunes. I love the whole CD. I am hoping I can find some of his stuff on You Tube so I can share. Anyway, half way there, the song, 'Made to Fall' came on and when Mike and I have our reception celebration, this will be the song we dance to. Alas, the songs I want are not on YouTube. I did find him on Facebook. I have liked his page and sent a message. We'll see where that goes.

**** I was sidetracked as often happens, but all of a sudden I knew how to rework things to get my RV chargers going again so my well pump will stay on and my lights will work. I also managed to get the TV running again. Life is good when you give your troubles to God! This morning has been so busy I just now opened my email box and read K-Loves encouraging word for the day. So fitting for Thankful Thursday!

Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again-rejoice! ~ Philippians 4:4, NLT

I am suddenly laughing again for I do feel like rejoicing. My God is bigger. I am kept safe and all my needs are met. I love my Father in Heaven. I cannot imagine a life without faith. Just knowing He always has me is so comforting. Even in the middle of the night when darkness prevails, my God still can turn on the light so to speak! If I never manage to get anything else instilled in my children, I pray they pick up on how awesome our God is and how having a relationship with the Lord and accepting His Lordship over their life is the only true way to live. 

I love Philippians for that is where I get my comeback when my teenybopper says 'whatever'. Allow me to share more of this Book and Chapter as it is so good it deserves a deeper dive. Plus who knows perhaps you have a teenybopper at home too that loves to throw out the 'whatever'. This is the best comeback to that!

With that being shared, allow me to share, straight from my MacArthur Study Bible, Out of the Book of Philippians, Chapter 4 verse 4 through verse 9:

verse 4: Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice!

verse 5: Let your gentle spirit be know to all men. The Lord is near. 

verse 6: Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

verse 7: And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

verse 8: Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell in these things.

verse 9: The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.

Just makes me beam as brightly as the sun when I read such encouraging words. As I typed be anxious for nothing, I saw myself last night as I had to deal with the electrical issues. I was able to keep my head about me because I called upon the Lord and remained calm. I am so thankful for the capability to be able to trust in the Lord with all my heart. I am so blessed to have the faith I do. I truly believe it is due to my seeking and His faithfulness that my faith is as big as it is. That means all who seek truly will find for our Father is a giving, loving Father and his promises ring true. I suggest you take the time to search Him out. It will be the wisest thing you ever do!

Father I come to you with laughter and a song in my heart. You are so faithful. Thank you for keeping my babies warm through the night. Thank you for hope and faith and love. Thank you for your words of wisdom that encourage me to press on even when in my own strength I say 'This mountain is too big!' and I fall to a moment of weakness. Thank you for picking me up and carrying me the instant I call out to you. My prayer today is for all who are without hope or faith and are fumbling in the dark cursing the obstacles in their path. May they come to know that you are there. May they begin to seek you out and lean upon you and discover how faithful you always are. In turn may they share their own stories and become workers that spread the good news. In Jesus name I pray. Amen

Wendy, Walks with God

Mom of Many

© Wendy Glidden 2013

Landing on a Ledge

Isn't life funny. So much to do in a given day let alone a week. I have yet to blog on Mike and I. Takes a special moment to be able to drift back in time. I know everything is in God's timing and since that is perfect I do not let not getting something done in my time cause me stress. The words will come just as God wants them to.

I have opened but not had time to share K-Loves encouraging words the last few days. I find it fitting that they perfectly blend well together so I am going to share them in order beginning with Saturdays here all in a row on this Terrific Testimonial Tell All Tuesday. Let's see where the Spirit will lead!

Saturday 10/19/2013

I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd sacrifices his life for the sheep. ~ John, NLT

Sunday 10/20/2013

Jesus told her, "I am the resurrection and the life. Anyone who believes in me will live, even after dying.

~ John, NLT

Monday 10/21/2013

Jesus told him, "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.

~ John 14:6, NLT

Tuesday 10/22/2013

I tell you the truth, those who listen to my message and believe in God who sent me have eternal life. They will never be condemned for their sins, but they have already passed from death into life.

~ John, NLT 

When you read the four in order doesn't it just make your heart soar? This last Sunday was an emotional one for me. We had the most incredible speaker. Just a humble servant of the Lord, but I believe she moved the entire room. I know she moved me. After already beating a cancerous tumor entangled with her spinal cord, she is now battling brain cancer and smiling about it. She would say something like maybe it is not cancer, maybe it is marital problems or teenage issues or whatever it is, it is not your biggest battle. That one was already taken care of for you on the cross. When you take that and combine it with those 4 quotes of scripture, what she was saying makes perfect sense. Sure what we walk through may be tough but if we keep our focus on the Lord we will make it through the valley and we will soar once more. Should we be at the end of this life and it is not planned for us to continue in this earth suit, it was always the end and we should not morn that, we should rejoice for the best is yet to come. When you truly wrap your mind around grace and eternal life everything truly changes. You can begin to live the abundant life that God intended you to live. 

I just heard an awesome song on the radio. As promised prior for those that cannot see the video on their device this song is titled "My Help Comes From The Lord" and it is performed by Chris Tomlin. 

My morning started out with a text from Mike expressing his love for me and that he longs to be married to me. That he never wants to be apart again and he is very sorry for not thinking before. I don't believe his problem was with thinking or not thinking. I believe his problem was with letting go and accepting that Jesus was Lord over his life. Mike giving up power to anyone was overwhelming to him. I just know it was. Then God striped everything out of his life in one fell swoop. Suddenly, he was without his family, his job and perhaps even his freedom. Now, even though he wants to, he cannot return. It is one thing to be behind bars and miss your family, it is another to be out walking the streets, working your new job, eating meals and be so far away from family you'd see them more were you in jail in your home town than where you are each day. Within his first week in Florida, he was picked up on a violation of probation stemming from 2006. Turns out when we left Florida with permission from his probation officer, with the condition to complete a class prior to May 6th, his probation officer did not get a copy of the class, so he filed a violation on him. Mike did do the class and amazingly enough even though seven full years had passed, I remembered where he had taken the class and they indeed still had his file available. You would think with proof of the completed class prior to May, 2006, the charges would have been dropped, but again no, he goes to court on October 29, 2013. His original probation officer wants 60 days in jail from Mike. That's what happens when you have to leave the state is what he has been told. I refuse to fret no matter what happens. If he has to serve 60 days I know it is because God needs some serious alone time with Mike and that is where they connected the first time. That is where Mike prayed to win my heart before he ever saw or met me. Sometimes you really do go full circle. All I know is with each passing day that we are apart Mike grows a little more and ironically while I too am growing, I am also shrinking. I just imagine how much better in all ways we both will be in the end. We had planned to get married for real on January 18th of next year, the ten year anniversary of our very first kiss, before everything seemed to go haywire. I love how we have come to realize what was truth and what was an attack from the evil one. What Satan intended to destroy has grown stronger. It very much reminds me of the story in Acts of the first church. Time and time again the evil one attacked and out of evil, every time, good was produced and things flourished. I know God uses all evils for good and I have come to love His ways. I could never change Mike or make him grow up myself, but God can do all things. I am thrilled that I had enough Faith in Him to finally let Mike go completely. Look at the fruit that is being produced in the end. 

With that being said, I am reminded of how I fell on that ledge the first time where Mike is concerned. If you have read my first two chapters regarding us, 'How I Fell In Love With Mike' and 'Dissed, Disowned, Disgraced and Darn Near Destitute' you know at this point in our relationship I was madly in love with Mike and was seeming to fall down this never ending mountain day after day and then Wham, it happened. I had a warning that trouble was ahead. The same voice that warned me I would lose my money, asked a simple but gigantic question as I unlocked the doors of the van after I had just walked out of a W.I.C. appointment in Grand Junction Colorado, "What are you going to do when Mike runs into Heather?" It came out of nowhere and literally stopped me in my tracks. I had Tia, Travis and the twins with me at the time and I just halted  in the process of getting everyone loaded up into the car. I asked the question out loud myself and instantly I knew the answer. I would have to let him go. I couldn't shake the feeling or the thought that Mike might not truly be mine after all. But that night, as he wrapped me into his arms, I let that voice fall to the back of my head and tumbled down the mountain side once again deciding I was going to lavish up this love for as long as it was mine. A mere month later I was in the same building with everyone and we were applying for job assistance. Mike said he had to go to the bathroom and he went off on his own. When he returned he was clasping a white piece of paper in his hands. He sat down beside me looking almost ill and when I asked him what was wrong, he said, "I ran into Heather. She gave me her number." I didn't breath. He handed me the paper. I feebly laughed and said, "As if you don't have the number memorized already." He said, "No, I didn't even look at it. She told me I was welcome to come to her as long as I left you and the twins. She is not into children." I was surprised to say the least. I took the number and threw it in the trash hoping silently that that was the end of it. 

** Pausing for a moment to play catch up. The twins were born in Florida. From a heartbeat of almost living on the street, Mike landed a job and through it I landed a babysitting job. The owner of his restaurant had four children needing to be cared for and that fell to me. I never got paid, but we were provided a one bedroom condo in exchange. Sadly shortly before the twins were born it was discovered that this man was corrupt. The restaurant closed and Mike and I quickly managed to get into a two bedroom trailer a few weeks before the twins arrived. Mike found another job as a cook at another restaurant but it was obvious he was not happy. When the twins came, Mike's mom was out of the state so, a friend of Mike's had his wife help us out by staying at our home when we had to go to the hospital so that Tia and Travis were taken care of. Mike let me down a little by getting drunk the night the twins were born. He barely made it back to the hospital that night. He claimed the surgery was too awful for him to stomach and he had to drink to get over it. As I lay recovering from a C-section where I was literally cut and then ripped apart due to the doctor needing more room to get the babies out, Mike was in my bathroom throwing up. He did not have the proper identification to be allowed to sign the girls birth certificate so, to this day he is not listed as their father although they both have his last name. We only stayed in Florida through October. Mike quit his job, we sold all we had, packed up all we could and headed off to Grand Junction, Colorado to go live with his best friend from his childhood, Mike Stark, and that is how we ended up in Colorado. Back to the story.

Less than a week after Mike had his run in with Heather, Mike's best friend who I will call Stark and his girlfriend began arguing over trust issues and somehow it came out of the closet that Mike had all but cheated on me the night the girls were born. Turns out the girl I entrusted to care for my children and drive Mike around as he did not have a valid license at the time and I did not want him getting in trouble in Florida thought they deserved a little fun. She got him drunk and attempted to have sex with him in my van right outside the hospital in the parking lot. No wonder Mike was so sick. As the details came out I found myself barely able to breath. This is when I landed on that ledge and had the air smacked right out of me. My world was spinning so fast I wanted to puke myself. Suddenly I understood what was going on. Like a light was flashed in my head. I looked at him and said, "You are trying to start a fight with me so that you can go to Heather. There is no need for that. Call her, Go to her. I will be okay." It was all I could do to hold myself together and even in reliving, it is so very very very painful. Thinking he might leave me for Heather, his first love was one thing. Thinking he let me lie crying for him in a hospital bed while he considered sleeping with just another girl with no meaning behind her at all had rocked my world. I wept for real that night as he slept. 

Things at his friends house were falling apart rather quickly with the fighting and we moved out of there and ended up in a homeless shelter when they had room and on the streets when they did not. Life was rough to say the least. Tia and Travis were acting out badly demanding they get their dad back. Mike was miserable torn between old and new loves. I could feel his heart was not completely mine and it hurt. As night dawned in the homeless shelter and the children were asleep he reached for me. He pulled me into his arms and attempted to kiss me. I turned my head from him. I know he was surprised by my move. I simply said, "You love someone else, I cannot kiss you." Again I wept myself to sleep. 

The next night Mike insisted we stay out of the shelter so we could talk things out. We did. In the end he decided he did not want to be without his babies and he decided he loved me and Heather had been nothing but a girl who played games with him through out their relationship and he decided he wanted to stay with me. Regardless, looking back, so much damage had been done to my heart. Within one month, I had a pretty good wall built around my heart. So much for someone praying for you meant they would do everything in their power to show you their love every day and would never stray. I no longer felt secure in Mike's love for me. It was a very big pivotal point in our relationship. 

The words have stopped flowing and that may be due to these crazy tears streaming down my face. Mike and I truly are back at the beginning. I am by myself in Indiana raising ironically five children again on my own just like I was when Mike and I finally got together. He is in Florida and praying for me again. He may even come back to me from behind bars like the first time. Ten years later we get to start over only this time we have the best foundation. Our love is built with Christ as our Center, our foundation. Who could pull off something as unbelievable as that but God Himself? Of course He has been involved in our love affair from the very beginning. 

As I wipe my eyes, I am happy to have this chapter behind me once and for all. Mike knew I was going to write on it. He asked the other night, "No way around it eh?" I laughed and said, "No" In sharing there will be healing and indeed there is. Love truly is the greatest of all:

1 Corinthians 13:13: Faith, Hope & Love. The Greatest of These is Love

Father, today I come before you and ask you to lift all those in a relationship that are struggling with Faith and love and hope and hard times. Let them see and feel your love. Help them see that to survive and flourish they must invite you in. When you keep your focus on Jesus it will change the way you talk to and treat one another. Even if only one of them is openly seeking you Father like I was, lift them and fill their faith like you did me Father. Help them be so bright their partner will seek your light as well. Should their be children in the mix Father fill these babies with your love and guidance. Shelter them under your wings. Let them know it's not about them at all father. Be the parent that we hurting parents are not able to always be. In Jesus name I pray. Amen

Wendy, walks with God

Mom of Many

© Wendy Glidden 2013

My Savior Lives, My Savior Loves, My Savior's Always Been for Me!

Hello! I hope the day has found you with a smile on your face, a light in your eyes and a bounce in your step! If not, hopefully what I have been given to share today will change that! I was on my way to work this morning listening to K-love and as this song began to play, big as day, I had my alphabet picture blow up in front of my eyes enlarging the next verse I needed to write on. If you have been following my blog you know that I have written on A - H to date. I have read what is under letter I a couple of times over the last few days and wondered when I would be inspired to blog on the verse. Today is that day. I am thrilled to introduce to you first the song that inspired the flash. It is "My Savior My God" by Aaron Shust.

And next, today's bible verse from my alphabet picture above my desk. It is taken from Psalms, Chapter 4, verse 8:

I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord make me dwell in safety.

With the world being in the state it is in, I find much comfort in this verse.  A couple of years ago, when there was much talk about the end of the world as we know it, on a few occasions I found myself in a discussion group with several people.  They were discussing the best ways to ensure their food supply as well as safety should the worst come to pass. In the midst of all these great provisional ideas that were being shared, I would chime in with this: "All that sounds great should we be able to stay close to where we currently are. The likelihood of that being the case is not certain so I'm just going to pray that God throws me some manna from heaven. He's the only true protection I can count on." 

Throughout all the various conversations I have been a part of over the last two years, some have chuckled. Someone once stopped talking and stared at me as if I was speaking in another language. The best response in my mind was when I had a guy high five me and say, "I love that. That's what I'm talking about." He was a fan of Ron Paul. I have been a fan of Ron Paul since I first researched him during the 2008 presidential election. He has written several enlightening books on what goes on behind the curtain. If you are into politics he is hands down someone that should have caught your attention for he stands apart from the majority of representatives we are presented with as candidates especially when you take a deeper look at what he stands for. I find it absolutely hilarious that our news crews called him a kook among other unkind names when he was a Presidential Candidate during the 2008 election. However, once the election was over, they had him on as a knowledgeable source for questions regarding our economy! The irony of the situation did not escape me!

We turned off the TV in our household in April of 2008. Mike and I came to the certain belief that 96% of what came out of the TV had a negative tone to it. Not a good percentage to win 'front and center time' in any household, let alone mine. Today I have no idea how I ever had time to watch it. I know one thing for certain, I don't miss it. You would be amazed at how much your children don't know they 'need' when they are no longer being feed soundbites every day. I often refer to the TV now as white noise. I would encourage you to turn it off for one month and see for yourself if anything changes in your home. 

With all that being said, I end today's post with the acknowledgement of how freeing it is to KNOW 100% that God has this. I don't need to understand everything about God. I don't have to defend his existence. I simply am blessed to have testimonies to share with my brothers and sisters. I too know how dark some of the roads we walk down can be. I've walked many of them myself. I am so blessed to have sought God and His advice, for when you seek, you will always find. The more you seek, the more you find. The more you find the more you seek. Until one day you see things shrouded in Heavenly lights so bright it takes your breath away and leaves you in a state of awe. When you get here, you will experience such a freedom, you will finally understand rest! Brace yourself though for Satan does not want you to remain in that state of mind. He will come at you in ways you have yet to experience. Remember to lean on your Heavenly Father. He is faithful. He will always see you through. 

Today I pray countless begin to seek you Father. I pray they seek you daily. I pray they sing your praises morning, noon and night. I know how faithful you are. May they come to know this as well. How blessed I am to have felt so tangibly your love for me. I thank you for that. I am in awe of your love for me. How I am counted as righteous still baffles my mind. How loving and gracious you are! Thank you. I pray more of my sleeping brothers and sisters awaken and step into action. I pray they hear your voice and recognize the signs you send them. I pray I recognize the signs you flash before me. I pray for more signs! I thank you for past signs. How they caused me to lift my head. I pray for your protection when it comes to those the evil one and those unfortunate souls he has connived, deceived and lied to. As you promise the enemy is crushed under my feet, let me never fall victim to him. Protect my heart and my mind Father as only you can. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Wendy, Mom of Many

© Wendy Glidden, 2013

Walking By The Spirit

Hello everyone! I hope the day has found with with a smile on your face and a song in your heart! Today I find God's love for me miraculous. His desire for me to live overwhelms me some days. In the realm of it all I am here but a moment just like you, yet He sent his son to save us all. What a gift. What a blessing.

I have these flash cards that my church printed up and I flip through them sometimes when I am trying to get in the mood to write. I found these three fitting for the mindset I am in this afternoon. This next weekend is the Women's Cross Roads Great Banquet #45. I attended #44 back in February. My small group is going to attend the send off this week.

Going to the Great Banquet helped me completely get the concept of Forgiveness, Grace and Agape. It is an experience I will never forget. In the simplest form, attending the Great Banquet was Life Changing.

It was while in reflection upon that weekend I found myself reading these flash cards. These 3 spoke to me and I have decided I must share all 3 of them with you.

Beginning with Galatians, Chapter 2, verse 20:

verse 20: I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I that live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.

Next we go to Ephesians, Chapter 4, verse 22 - 24:

verse 22: that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit,

verse 23: and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, 

verse 24:  and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth. 

And we end with 2 Corinthians, Chapter 5, verse 17:

verse 17: Therefore if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation; old things have passed away, and look, new things have come.

It is my opinion that if you are not seeking God with all your heart, you are not reading His word. It is by reading His word that you begin to understand exactly what walking in the spirit feels and looks like.

I think many people believe that once a person accepts Christ for their savior they should no longer sin. It is also my belief that Satan planted that lie to cause confusion within the church as well as separation among believers. After all if you are saved and then you stumble how well does that represent God working in your life?

Satan convinced us to hide our shames and failures from one another. My sisters and brothers, we are flesh. We wake up day after day and go immediately into a spiritual battle. As soon as you spread gossip, as soon as you say something with a sarcastic tone, as soon as you react in anger, you have sinned. I don't know about you, but on occasion these fleshly characteristics have a way of making an appearance in my life.

These actions never leave me with a good taste in my mouth these days. My righteousness convicts me of this behavior. It is not what I desire to be and it does not sit well with me upon reflection.

Walking in the spirit means I try to resemble Christ in all ways. Satan knows this. He also knows my faults as well as my weakness in all areas. I am convinced the more one tries to walk in the spirit the harder the evil one attacks in all forms.  Last Sunday one of our members made mention of how he envisioned Satan checking his database for the best way to attack us. I know he is a smooth operator and quite capable of seeing through the cracks in my armor at any given moment. This alone is why it is so important to dress daily for battle.

My life belongs to Christ. I begin my days with preparation. Some mornings I read out of a devotional first thing. Every morning I listen to Christian radio. Singing praises and laughing will always put you in a more joyous, hopeful mood. Each day I have devotionals I read, I go through my flash cards, I check out my alphabet picture with Bible verses on it, I carry my Bible with me and I pray.

It is my goal to walk by the Spirit always. Jesus is my focus. With that being said, there are days when I stumble. Today I no longer convict myself of being unworthy of God's love. I know that is another lie from hell. Now, I get on my knees and pray for more strength, wisdom and understanding. I thank God for sending Jesus who died Once for All sin, including mine. I know I don't need to pray for forgiveness when I have occasion to stumble for I am already forgiven of all my sins for all time. The evil one wants me to focus on my sin and my fear of my sin being too big to be forgiven. God wants us to focus on our righteousness, understanding forgiveness because in doing so, we will actually improve our walk!
I find it ironic that the perfect song just came on the radio to tie up this post. I have been interrupted countless times and it has taken all day to put these thoughts down on paper. I hope they are an encouragement to you.

Father, today I pray more of my fellow brothers and sisters wake up and begin seeking you. I pray they do not allow the evil one to convince them they are not worthy of your love. I pray they discover what your grace is. I pray they come to realize how special they are to you. I pray more and more of my fellow brothers and sisters begin seeking you in greater more devoted ways. I pray together, strengthened by You, we as the body of Christ become bolder. I pray we begin to move as a body moves when agile and healthy. Father I thank you for the strength and understanding you have blessed me with over my lifetime. I thank you for all I have lived through for living through such trials and tribulations has taught me to find the silver lining that always exists in the midst of all storms. I pray that all my brothers and sisters come to realize there is nothing more special about anyone of us when it comes to you and your love for us all. I pray they realize the difference in the relationship between you and all your children merely lies in whether they are seeking you or not as well as how often they seek you. I pray they come to know in their hearts that You are Faithful. You have provided us with a handbook for survival. Today I pray that more and more and more of us begin to get into Your word Father. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Wendy, Mom of Many

© Wendy Glidden 2013