My Dad (AKA God) is My Hero!

Today is fantastically fun filled friends and family Friday! I was relieved to discover the internet at the RV park was back up and working and I was able to read K-Love's encouraging word of the day this morning.

Honestly I almost grumbled when I saw what it was. The reason for that would be the topic of the word itself and the fact that God has been drumming this message home to me for the last three days and it is a message I need, for I am struggling with it where Mike is concerned. As I have mentioned before, I am truly just a girl! It is only in my seeking Christ that I am able to rise above my flesh more often than not.

As many of you know this year has been a brutal one for me where matters of the heart are concerned. Mike has not been 100% faithful, kind, or even polite to me for that matter. While he has not completely crossed the line where faithfulness is concerned, he has lusted after other women and as we that read God's word know, Jesus said that lusting in itself is the same as committing adultery.

In the last week, Mike has done a few kind acts and has been a little friendlier to me than he has for the last few months. I know he does not walk with God. I know he does not believe that Christ is God's only begotten son and therefore he is not saved. He does not seek God's word at all so how can I expect him to act as if he does? Ugh! I cannot. I can only show him the love of Christ by following the advice of the LORD. With that being said, here are the encouraging words I have been given over the course of the last three days.

Wednesday's: Matthew 5:7, NASB ~ "Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy."

Thursday's: Colossians 3:12, NASB ~ So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience;

Friday's: James 2:13, NASB ~ For judgment will be merciless to one who has shown no mercy; mercy triumphs over judgment.

I know God is Love and I know that Jesus came to save the lost. I know that while Mike should know better, he is simply not capable of quieting his flesh and listening to the Spirit. If he were a complete stranger, I would have an easier time putting on a heart of compassion where he is concerned.

Admittedly I often fall to my own flesh and am unable to walk in the Spirit completely when Mike is rude to me. In those moments I have to walk away and I tell him, I simply cannot listen to you right now for I don't trust myself. I have let him know that he is not healthy for me and that his insults infuriate me beyond all reason! How can I expect him to be curious about Jesus if I cannot show him what Christ does for me? It is all so infuriating at times!

Recently I was given some boy clothes and among them was a shirt that says, 'My dad is my Hero'.

When I put it on Jeffrey and read it to him, he cocked his head to the side just slightly and asked, "It's talking about God, right?"

I smiled and said, "Yes. Yes it is."

He grinned from ear to ear and boldly proclaimed that God was his hero and continued to brag about how much God loved him.

I love that he knows that truth. I truly believe the best thing we can do for our children is help them have a strong relationship with the LORD. It truly is what will pull them through the heartaches, trials and tribulations in life.

I don't know where I would be in life right now if I did not have the faith I do in the LORD. I know my mouth would be getting me in tons of trouble if I was not focused on His Word! Anger has never produced much good in my life. Those of you who have read my story know that I point out just what anger has done for me in my past.

This last week, I have been sharing snippets out of my story in hopes of finally achieving my life long dreams of being an author whose books truly help others out. With that being said, here is today's teaser designed to get you to purchase my book: 'You Are Worthy Too: The Proof is in the Pudding'

Chapter Eight

Too Angry to Process the Assault with Love

I warn you to guard yourself from allowing anger to be the leading emotion in your life. First it blinds you, then, it allows you to become self-righteous. There is a time for anger but it is short lived and rarely sweet. Please, if you get nothing else out of this story of mine, get that.

Anger is one of many footholds the evil one needs to have entrance into your heart. You do not want him even getting close to that! So, when you feel anger coming on, I urge you to get down on your knees and give that to God. That looks different than "Giving it to God."

Let me see if I can somehow elaborate on this through my story. Let's begin with this:

Footnotes and Fill-ins from my previous chapter: Grounded for losing my virginity

1. Yes I was grounded for something I did not do, BUT I did misbehave.

2. My punishment did not fit the crime, BUT I brought the trouble on        myself by disobeying, lying and breaking rules I knew were not meant      to be broken.

3. I was angry at God for allowing such an awful thing to happen to me.

4. As a child and here in my telling, I did not give sufficient praise      for the amazing story Mrs. Compton shared.

# 4 deserves more details. It was while I was losing my mind due to being questioned if I was making this entire assault up by Chris, remember, I couldn't talk, “Guy, guy, guy, gun, gun, gun, me, me, me”, was literally all I could say. I could not say anything else. I could barely form those words; anyway, that is when Mrs. and Mr. Compton came to the door. Mrs. Compton was very worried about me. I could hear it in her voice. She asked Chris if I'd told her what happened. I can't remember what Chris said. The numbness was taking over. I heard her tell Chris she was so mad at herself for not insisting louder that they turn around. When they had pulled in their driveway, she shared the fact that she just couldn't get out. She insisted they go back and make sure I was okay. God told her she must. She had obeyed.

Now I am so thankful that God was watching out for me because that whole thing could have been so much worse. I may not have made it out alive. As it was, I was barely touched. Some women have stories that will leave you in absolute tears over their pain.

When they raced off, I didn't realize it was to get this man. He lost them on a high speed chase on the back roads she informed my step mother. He didn't have a license plate on the car so there was nothing more than a description of the car and my description of the man for the police to go on. I couldn't tell the police anything more than he was old and naked and his hand not holding the gun had a flaw. I didn't tell any of them he'd punched me with the gun. They might want to look at me and there was no way I could bare that.

That is it for this little teaser. I truly believe in my heart that my 36 true life testimonies that God called me forth to share in one complete book will help others with their own life struggles. I have walked in so many shoes that I am certain we have shared a pair or two! I know there are also people out there that you may be friends with who need a dose of hope and that is exactly who my book is written for.

It is my belief that my book will bless all who read it. Please consider purchasing a copy for yourself and then pass it on to a friend! Simply click here to be taken to my personal store where you can purchase your copy today for a mere $13.00. I am certain it will be a wise investment!

Father, I come to you today thankful that I am no longer controlled by anger and resentment. I know neither are healthy for my mind or my heart. Thank you for reminding me daily who you are. Thank you for gently nudging me to reach for the stars and be a shining example of how much you love others even when they are the least deserving. For that and so much more, You are my hero! We all have a story. Mine is not full of the prettiest chapters, but I love what you have done with it! Thank you for never giving up on me. Please help me be more focused on Your Word and less focused on the insults that are launched at me from this world! And please Father, bless my book, increase my sales, enlarge my territory, grant me my childhood dreams of helping others trapped in the bondage of deception. In Jesus' name I pray! Amen.

Wendy, walks with God, Mom of Many

© Wendy Glidden 2015

The House is on Fire!

I don't know a single person who has not at some moment or another either found themselves angered by another or found themselves being the one that stirs up anger in another by mere words that are spoken.

God's Word has a lot to say about anger and its effect. In Proverbs, which are considered to be words of wisdom, we find these three verses:

Proverbs 15:1, NASB says: A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.

Proverbs 26:20, NASB: For lack of wood the fire goes out, And where there is no whisperer, contention quiets down.

Proverbs 26:21, NASB: Like charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire, So is a contentious man to kindle strife.

I have shared them with the children and explained the meanings to the point that when one of them is angry and the others decide it is time to whisper something, I simply say, "Don't throw wood on my fire!" It quickly lets them know to be quiet without me having to say anything else.

The other day though, my entire house erupted into arguments and I yelled out, "My house is on fire!" Instantly I had the children's attention only to have my husband call out from the back, "I don't want to hear stuff like that." To which I called back, "Not literally, metaphorically."

Over the years, by pointing out the fire in the room, I have managed to have quite a success record when it comes to extinguishing fires before they get out of control. However, when it comes to Mike and I, this has not worked quite as well. He does not have understanding regarding these verses and to top that off, he can whip some wood around pretty darn quickly. Recently, he has taken to throwing rotten wood at me and I have truly struggled with my own anger towards him.

He mocks me a lot for going to church, for my faith, for the degree I am seeking in college and for blogging and writing regarding God. It's a lot for a person to take. When you consider all the other things I have on my daily plate, its a wonder I don't combust into flames!

Regardless, I know that the Lord is where I find my strength and I also know there is strength in numbers. I don't go to church to be preached at. I go to church to learn, to be encouraged and to stand in worship with my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. I need that food. I need that time. I need those hugs from my fellow sisters, and I need to hang with others who understand this fallen world!

This Sunday, we had a guest teacher from Detroit come and speak. At the end, they called those of us that felt we were cloaked with something that was keeping us in chains, something we needed delivered from to come forward. I came up. While I have tried with all my might to rid myself of anger and resentment towards Mike, I was still struggling with them both. As I stood in the front praying for help with these, tears began running down my face. Someone put their hands on my head and began praying in another language for me and suddenly I fell backwards and found myself on the floor. Now I have seen this happen on TV, but I have never felt it happen to myself. After a moment I got back up and began praying and thanking God and again someone put their hands on me. It was a lady and she said to me, "Its okay, let it go. He is all over you, just accept all He has to offer." and wham I fell back harder and I truly thought someone had turned the lights on full force for such brilliant light exploded behind my eyes. That time I remained on the floor and basked in the Son's light and wept with gratitude. I truly believe God removed my resentment of Mike from my heart for my eyes see him differently now. It will be interesting to see if he can give me rise to anger with his words in the near future or if they will fall uselessly to the ground. What I do know is this, something inside me changed and for that I am grateful. Anger is a rotten emotion. It only grows much like jealousy grows. It is no wonder our world is in the shape it is in. How many angry people seek God for help with their emotions? Not enough, that is for sure!

Too much has happened in my life for me to lose my faith. Too much has taken place for me to quit writing just because Mike gives me a hard time about it. I have told him more than once that it is God that called me forth to write and I am listening to that call. I also understand that I need to surround myself with others that have true faith in Christ Jesus.

Mike fears the church. After taking both the History of Ancient Israel as well as the History of Christianity, I understand his fear. False teachers abound. We are warned by Paul time and time again to be on the lookout for them. This is one of the reasons that you need to read the Word of God for yourself. As you do, pray for understanding. The Holy Spirit is a wonderful teacher. While the Word of God will help you come to know God, it is in seeking Him directly that you will grow by leaps and bounds. The LORD wants you to get to know Him. He has countless promises for those who seek.

For today, I encourage you to put into practice the advice found in proverbs, "Don't throw wood onto the fire!" and should you find yourself enraged by someone else, kindly utter the phrase back to them. Perhaps it will halt them long enough for you to calm your heart and recognize your own wood throwing skills!

I would like to leave you with this last little tidbit. Satan LOVES for you to become angry. I am fully convinced that he is a whisperer of evil thoughts. From the very beginning, he has been at the root of sibling rivalry and so much more! Most people know that Cain killed Abel, but did you know that before that murder took place, God came to Cain and counseled him? I promise you , this is true. It is in Genesis that we read this:

Genesis 4:1-10, NASB: Now the man had relations with his wife Eve, and she conceived and gave birth to Cain, and she said, "I have gotten a manchild with the help of the LORD." [2] Again, she gave birth to his brother Abel. And Abel was a keeper of flocks, but Cain was a tiller of the ground. [3] So it came about in the course of time that Cain brought an offering to the LORD of the fruit of the ground. [4] Abel, on his part also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of their fat portions. And the LORD had regard for Abel and for his offering; [5] but for Cain and his offering He had no regard. So Cain became very angry and his countenance fell. [6] Then the LORD said to Cain, "Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? [7] If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it." [8] Cain told Abel his brother. And it came about when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother and killed him.

There is a lot to this story that I am not going to get into right now, for today our focus is on anger and the truth that sin is always crouching at our door desiring to capture us. The LORD's advice for us is the same as it was for Cain. We MUST master it!

I have tried myself to bite my own tongue, to calm my own angry heart, to get hold of my emotions and trust me when I say, "It is no easy feat." Even when I have been able to stifle it, I have not been able to fully put out the coals. It was only until I went before God and admitted that I wanted to be rid of it all, that it was taken from me. I pray that this remains to be the case. I know that it is only with the help of the LORD that it will remain so for I am under no disillusions that the evil one will not continue to whisper into the ears of those that are close to me. I know if he can't get my attention directly, he will use others in an attempt to pull my from my 'happy zone'. That my friends is part of Spiritual Warfare. Our nation is at war but the biggest war is the one being waged against humanity as a whole. It is my prayer that more soldiers for Christ wake up and begin helping bring the Kingdom of Heaven here to earth.

Today if you realize you are holding onto anger and resentment, I encourage you to ask God to help you be rid of it all. It is my prayer that you do this. It is my prayer that you feel the change in your heart. When it comes to others, it is my prayer that you begin to recognize your own 'wood throwing skills' and begin to teach yourself to grab a salt shaker instead ;-) ~ blessings to all who do!

Wendy Glidden, Mom of Many, walks with God.

Do You Know Him?

I can hardly believe it is already Friday! I have been so busy this past week, I have not written a 'You Are Worthy Too' blog! Time just moves so quickly some weeks!

This week was a hard week for me in all honesty. Even armed to the hilt, wearing all my armor, a battle almost took me out. Cruel words said by loved ones truly takes it out of me. I was blessed to see how God had prepped me for what was to transpire on this past Tuesday before I knew I needed to be encouraged and reminded where to keep my foucs myself.

Twice I have gone to my archives with the intent to grab a link to a certain post only to have myself drawn to another post. Each time, the meaning of that has not been lost on me, but I am going to specifically talk about the second time that that happened.

This last Tuesday, February 18, 2014, I went into my archives intending to share a post on the fruit of the spirit. When I opened up my blogger, a post titled 'Don't let it get the best of you' was in my feed as one someone had recently read. I was drawn to that post so intensely that I knew it was the one I should share. I thought it was for someone that needed the message in the story. Little did I know I was about to have a repeat of that fateful day only this time I was to be yelled at for writing books instead of blogs. My youngest child was again referred to as a brat and every fiber of my being wanted to shout, "I'm done!" but again I held my tongue.

It was my friend and sister in Christ, Joan who I work with and who heard it all, that came and gave me a hug in the back room. She reminded me the angry words yelled at me had a source and to not take it all to heart. It was then that it dawned on me that God had wanted me to read my old post to help me with what was going to happen mere hours later in my day. He is always ahead of us you know! It's one of the lines I love in the Chris Tomlin Song, "Whom shall I fear". I have it shared alongside this blog in my 'songs I listen too' box.

The closer I draw to God the more I recognize Him working in my life. Always ahead of me, trying to give me what I need for armor. He is faithful. I pray my books I am writing help others see that truth in undeniable ways.

I am truly excited for my third book to be completed and published. I have set aside 4 hours this weekend to work on nothing but that third book. I am hoping God suspends that time for me so I can accomplish all I need to in such a short time.

Here is what I read this morning when I opened up my email from K-Love:

Oh, that we might know the Lord! Let us press on to know him. He will respond to us as surely as the arrival of dawn or the coming of rains in early spring. ~ Hosea 6:3, NLT

Amen, Amen, Amen. I do know this to my very core. I pray if you have any doubts regarding God that my story helps strengthen your faith. I have both volume I and II listed for a free download this weekend only. You can click on one of the conveniently placed links to the side of this blog and get your copies while they are FREE! It has always been my desire to help others. God is helping me accomplish that dream through my books. I wrote them for you, get your free copies today! Hopefully volume 3 & 4 will be out before long!

I must head back to work. Late lunch break. I work my writing in when I can. Be blessed and be a blessing <3 

'What Can Mortal Man Do to Me?'

Good morning! According to my calendar, it is Totally Terrific Testimonial Tell All Tuesday! Here is one of my testimonies: Last night I was assistant coach for my son's 2nd grade basket ball team. I was able to participate in all the drills and it was awesome!

A year ago everywhere I went, I shuffled. Lifting my feet off the ground was something I simply was not capable of doing. Toward the end of summer, I prayed to God to have my healthy body back. I cried out in anguish. After being in massive pain for almost three years, He had answered my prayer for healing regarding my back and had literally placed a wellness doctor in my path. He was delivered to me in such a way there was no denying it was God that was placing me in his care.

Upon my first visit to him, he began putting my bones back in place. I knew I was in bad shape, I just did not realize how bad! I began seeing him late April / early May and now I only see him once a month for an adjustment.

With his help, I had the confidence to begin a workout routine that another friend suggested I try. She had been pursuing me to try one of her companies workout videos and I had told her about the fact I truly needed a 'Physical Therapy' kind of work out video to follow and she knew just what I needed. She excitedly told me about it and I decided to give it a go.

I am so happy I did. In 42 days, which is only six weeks time, I have dropped 36 pounds and 34" of body fat from my skeletal frame and have gained amazing agility and flexibility in the process. I am so happy with how far I have come I could cry tears of absolute joy. I am now one of 'those girls' with a fat loss story that is unbelievable! I have not made it to my goal size or weight but I now know it is 100% possible in the next 42 days to get the job finished!

My goal is to lose 78 pounds. This will also mean losing 4-5 more inches around my waist, 2 - 3 more at my hips and another 1 - 2 off my chest area. With that my arms and legs will also shrink a bit.

I read once that for every pound you take off of your body it is like removing 4 pounds of burden. I know my frame appreciates the lighter weight it must still tote around. I can only dream about how awesome getting back to where I want to be will feel! Only 42 more pounds to shed!

I have promised to reach back and help anyone who is desiring to truly lose weight. It is hard work. It takes determination. However, this works so well and is so healthy, you will secretly enjoy watching yourself melt. If you need a coach or someone to encourage you or whatever label you want to slap on it, I would be thrilled to be that for you. Simply email me at wendyglidden123@gmail.com and indicate what you want help with.

I'm into total wellness so from helping you with your mindset and your relationship with the Lord to losing weight and getting into the size pants you want back into or into for the first time, I am here for you! Nothing would please me more than to reach back and help someone who has tried almost everything and failed.

Recently God has been flashing me things from my past again. As far as my life line goes I managed to get beyond the adoption to the point I almost lost my life in a bike wreck due to literally working myself to death so that I could fall asleep without thinking. Absolute off the charts craziness is what follows that scene and I have once again been dragging my feet.

However, this past Sunday, when we were asked what becoming a believer in the cross and Jesus Christ had changed in our life, I replied, for me it had meant freedom of fear. Fear of judgement from others, fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of anything.

It reminds me of David when he asks, 'What can mortal man do to me?' I love David's Psalms. We are covering 4 different Psalms in November. Last Sunday we covered Psalm 32 and touched on Psalm 56, which is one of my endless favorites. I am going to share David's words here, right out of my MacArthur study bible. I hope you love his trust and enthusiasm half as much as I do! Psalm 56 in it's entirety:

** My study bible highlights this as Supplication for Deliverance and Grateful Trust in God. This took place when the Philistines seized David in Gath.

verse 1: Be gracious to me, O God, for man has trampled upon me; Fighting all day long he oppresses me.

verse 2: My foes have trampled upon me all day long, For they are many who fight proudly against me.

verse 3: When I am afraid, I will put my trust in You.

verse 4: In God, whose word I praise, In God I have put my trust; I shall not be afraid. What can mere man do to me?

verse 5: All day long they distort my words; All their thoughts are against me for evil.

verse 6: They attack, they lurk, They watch my steps, As they have waited to take my life.

verse 7: Because of wickedness, cast them forth, In anger put down the peoples, O God!

verse 8: You have taken account of my wanderings; Put my tears in Your bottle. Are they not in Your book?

verse 9: Then my enemies will turn back in the day when I call; This I know, that God is for me.

verse 10: In God whose word I praise, In the Lord, whose word I praise,

verse 11: In God I have put my trust, I shall not be afraid. What can man do to me?

verse 12: Your vows are binding upon me, O God; I will render thank offerings to You.

verse 13: For You have delivered my soul from death, Indeed my feet from stumbling, So that I may walk before God in the light of the living.

I love the trust King David places in the Lord. I know just how he feels. As I go forth and share more things from my early to mid twenties, I too will trust in the Lord knowing that He is using my stories to inspire and encourage and call others home. All for the glory of God.

I thank the Lord for all He has delivered me from. While I have shared a ton, I have so much more to reveal. I keep saying I am going to get to it and truly I am. I must go back and refresh my memory of where I ended exactly so that I can continue from there.

Should you just be joining me in this journey, I invite you to go back to my introduction post, in my mind humorously titled, 'In the Beginning' and read the personal posts up to 'Saying Goodbye to Amanda Rose' there is one after that where I share my bike wreck, but for the life of me I cannot remember it's title right now.

It is my prayer that my story inspires hope and reveals the glory of God. It is also my prayer that it helps you in building your trust and your relationship with the Lord.

I have missed out on sharing the last couple days encouraging words by K-Love on my Facebook page and I love both Monday's and Today's, so I am going to share both of them now:

Monday 11/4/2013

But the Lord stood with me and gave me strength ~ 2 Timothy 4:17a, NLT

Tuesday 11/5/2013

I promise this very day that I will repay two blessings for each of your troubles. ~ Zechariah 9:12b, NLT 

The Lord has stood with me time and time again and has given me strength. I know this as truth for I have felt myself drained of all strength, yet remain planted on my feet, held up firmly by the mighty hand of our Lord. 

I too am beginning to witness what I would say are more than two blessings for each of my troubles. Perhaps it feels like more for I have had much trouble over my life span! Us saints are not promised an easy life you know!! I hope I have managed to leave you with a smile today! Remember be blessed and be a blessing to others!

Father, today I come to you singing praises for all the miracles you have performed concerning me. I am blessed to call upon you and have you deliver me. I am blessed to have the relationship that I do with you. For decades I called upon you in times of big trouble but turned my back on you in my daily life. What a fool I was to think you were not for me any longer. What a fool to believe the lies that were being fed to me by the evil one. He is clever but not wise for he set himself against you to begin with. Thank you for speaking to me. Thank you for your signs and wonders. I pray I am witness to many more for they tickle me to no end. Father, it is my prayer that more of my brothers and sisters that are today where I have been in my past concerning a relationship with you step fully into the light and draw much closer to you. May their eyes and hearts be opened my Lord. May they begin to seek more of your wisdom and love and may they grow and become workers. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Wendy, walks with God
Mom of Many

© Wendy Glidden 2013

When Anger Rises, What is Your Game Plan?

Fantastically Fun-Filled Family Friday! I awoke today to discover the place I get all my health food and cleaning, laundry, bathroom necessities, first aid, cough, cold, fever relief, and beauty supplies is offering their annual membership for a mere $1.00 . . . all new customers also get $20 worth of free items to try when they come back for more goodness in their second, third, fourth and fifth month!!!! That's $100 worth of free items to try that I already know you will love. I switched to this store in March of 2011 and have been a more than happy customer ever since. As my friends know I'm a penny pinching momma. The money this store has saved me is mind blowing. The best part about shopping here has been the peace of mind knowing this manufacture cares about health and wellness. Also this is where I have purchased my 'weight loss supplies' so tasty my children won't keep out of them and yummy enough that you actually enjoy consuming them yourself! Oh and if teeth matter to you, they have the best tooth polish on the market, and all their dental and skin care is safe for those going through chemo or anything like that! Switch stores, save money, provide better health for your entire family. Let me know if you want more details! This is the best gift one friend can give to another. I already did my shopping this morning and threw in the items I need by next week. Upon checkout I was offered buy one get one free items and two of them are my favorite 'candy bars' with purpose! I am so excited!! I am telling you this company should have been called the Rocking Fireworks Health and Wellness store because their sales are so spectacular!.

I am looking forward to my weekend with the children. Michael has his first basketball game tomorrow. He is so excited. He woke up today thinking it was game day! I had to deliver the bad news that today was another school day.

When I got into the office and was finally able to check my email, I read K-Loves encouraging word for the day.

A gentle answer deflects anger. ~ Proverbs 15:1, NLT

I had to giggle to myself as I read this truth. If the bible is not a handbook for how to best walk through situations in life, I don't know what is! When I have a child that is angry and another child steps in to comment on the situation, I have gotten into the habit of stopping them short by simply saying, "Please don't throw gas on my fire!" Meaning the situation is obviously volatile and I do not need any of them increasing that intensity. Dealing with someone who is angry is almost as difficult as dealing with someone who is intoxicated. Anger, in my belief clouds the mind and keeps us from making wise decisions. I know this is also why we are advised to steer clear of anger. Hands down, anger is one of the evil one's best ways to get a foothold into your heart and have more control over your thoughts. When you find yourself getting angry you need to have a game plan to calm yourself down. You may even have to have a basket full of ways to deal with your emotions. One for when you are in the car may not work so well out in the public eye! In the car I call for a moment of silence or singing, their choice. I tell the children I need a moment to calm down and I turn the Christian music up a little so that they know I'm serious! At home, I have even put myself in a time out! It's amazing how little ones will quit what they are doing when you tell them you don't trust yourself because you are so angry so you are going to put yourself in a five minute time out so that you can have a conversation with your heavenly Father! When getting angry at a spouse I refuse to fight it out in a moment of anger. I openly admit I cannot think rationally and I don't want to say something I can't take back. I also have threatened and followed through with prayer as many of you know from the blog post 'Convicted by God' that I published in September. Should you find yourself curious to see how that all played out, here are the links to the three posts that play that entire scene out: 

1. http://youareworthytoo.blogspot.com/2013/09/convicted-by-god.html
2. http://youareworthytoo.blogspot.com/2013/09/dont-fret-god-is-faithful-he-always-has.html
3. http://youareworthytoo.blogspot.com/2013/09/better-off-with-god.html

As my grandma said to me when I was younger, "Be careful what you pray for you just might get it." To which I asked, "Why would I pray for something unless I wanted it?" Which she replied, "God has a sense of humor Wendy, you never know how what you desire will be delivered!" Boy was she ever right about that! My advice don't pray in a moment of anger!! I will admit God is wonderful and he uses everything to work good. I have witnessed it time and time again. Even what I am going through right now. I am amazed to see the changes that have occurred in my life over the last two months. I'm like, pinch me. Is this really my life? I know it is. Even in the midst of turmoil I am dancing in the rain. This is the major difference in living life with your own strength and only for yourself and giving your life to Christ and following Him. I prefer an adventurous life. Of course if you have read my blog posts from the beginning you know that much about my story already! The crazy thing is my life has been MORE adventurous since I got on my knees and said, "Your will not mine".

I hope I have peaked your curiosity enough to get you to at least read those 3 linked posts and even more so to dive back to the beginning of this blog and read it all. There are miracles and all kinds of crazy stuff inside! I have been blessed to have been allowed to be a witness to God's glory in so many ways. I still have so many things to share. I am excited to get back to it as what the Lord has been flashing to me takes me back to after the adoption and my near death to some seriously crazy events. I was fearful on how to share and as with all the rest God is giving it to me in flashes and has me laughing. This weekend as my children go to bed, I will begin drifting back in time! I hope you decide to stick around and read more of my life journey!

Father today I come to you with childish wonder. What an amazing Father you are. How blessed I am to have woken up and returned home. How blind I was. How far I ran. Yet when I got on my knees crying and wailing you opened the door again and welcomed me home. Since then you have saved my life, sent me a witness, allowed me to see my current home shrouded in crystals and so much more. I love how you work. Even through pain you flourish me. I love who I am in Christ. Thank you for grace and mercy. Thank you for your son whose name I pray in. It is my prayer that many more of my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ also get on their knees and give in to your will. Had I only understood that your plan is so much more for me than I could have designed on my own. I am sure I am not the only rebel in the family! Call my fellow rebel brother and sisters home. Break them down Father. Stretch them until they know they can only make it through on your strength. While the process may at first feel painful, I know the beauty on the other end and I pray they are able to glimpse it early on so they are not hurt and confused by the events that will take place. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Wendy, walks with God
Mom of Many

© Wendy Glidden 2013

Do You Feel Like You Are Missing Something in Life?

Wild Wacky Wonderful Wednesday What Whimsical Wonders Will you bring my way today?! I awoke this morning to an extra child in my bed. Delightful Delilah is under the weather. Currently her and Jeffrey are laying down in the other room watching a movie. Somehow last night I managed to help everyone with their homework, reading and book reports. Yes. Book reports in the second grade. I don't know who school is more stressful on the children or me! It is tough to squeeze in quality time in three hours after work when you have to help with homework, have 3 children read books to you, serve dinner, clean up, make sure everyone takes a shower and put them all to bed after a 9 hour work day with a 3 year old assistant for the entire day and 4 additional helpers for the last hour and a half! I have also implemented a workout routine into my day that I do at night after all of that! It's crazy, it's hectic but I am finally getting into the full swing of it. Or at least I think I am. This morning I discovered one child's homework was not successfully packed away into her folder and it is now sitting on my desk. It will be late. I have no help today so taking it up to school to save the day like a super hero mom is just not going to happen. Life. It is what it is. Thank God I know I am not perfect or something as small as that might put me right over the edge!

Last night I went to my monthly meeting with mom's who are seeking God's heart, so dinner was already prepared for us. I have been getting more and more back into the mentality of a more organized mom. I have turned Sunday into my prepare for the week ahead day. I make sure we have enough folded socks in each drawer. I reorganize drawers and closets as well as shoe and coat bins. The most awesome thing I do to make the week easier is I prep the meals we are going to have for the week. I purchased a little mini oven and have it in my back office. Now at 4:30 pm I take out the meal we decide on that I prepared on Sunday and I throw it in my oven. At Five when I get off work, dinner is done! This simple little change in the way I do things gained me an hour of meal time each day of the week. There are countless things on the Internet to help with this. I just simplified it for myself. I brown all the hamburger I will need for my five meals or cook some chicken, then I divide it all up into the daily portions and prepare the individual meals. I let them cool off and then I pack them up and in the freezer they go. Each day I grab what meal the kids vote on and that is what we have for dinner that night. It truly has made a difference in how smoothly things run through the week. If you too are a single mom in the midst of craziness, I encourage you to try this for just one week and see if you find it helpful at all. If you aren't into this style, I would highly suggest working in a crock pot meal or two each week. I did that when I was younger and only had two children and two full time jobs! Like I said, there are countless moms out there that have taken the time to put up websites full of tips just like this but in much much much greater detail. A friend of mine just sent me a link to a great site the other day. Here is the link:  http://lifeasmom.com/2013/10/freezer-cooking-will-save-you-time.html

As I do each weekday morning, I check out what K-Loves encouraging word of the day is. Here is what I found:

Jesus replied, "I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry again. Whoever believes in me will never be thirsty  ~ John 6:35, NLT

I am blessed to understand the truth in this. For me, before I came to know Jesus as my Savior, I would have days when I knew I was missing something but I just couldn't put my finger on it. Those are the days I would go shopping looking for that certain something that would somehow simplify my life or bring me a little joy. Sometimes those are the days I would go out to eat because I was looking for something better than what I had in the refrigerator. I think that emptiness we feel is the call to come back home. We just don't have anyone pointing in the right direction. Somehow in our society we have come very far from even mentioning God. Even more so openly talking about Jesus. It's almost still okay to openly discuss your thoughts on God but you have to be schooled on how to approach the whole Jesus subject for fear of how you may be taken. To label yourself as a Christian can get you killed in some places in the world. The united States is not too far from getting a little on the crazy side with the whole same sex issues. When you listen to what the Supreme Court said as far as the opinion one might hold regarding same sex marriage, well, it just sends chills down your spine. His basically said if you have a problem with same sex marriage, you are an enemy of the human race. An enemy of the race! That is a bit scary. I mean let's really get down to this whole issue of what is labeled as sin in the bible and take it to it's most extreme basic idea. We are even warned to not get angry. Allow me to share with you Matthew Chapter 5, verses 21-22:

verse 21: "You have heard that the ancients were told, 'YOU SHALL NOT COMMIT MURDER' and 'Whoever commits murder shall be liable to the court.'

verse 22: But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court; and whoever says to his brother, 'You good-for-nothing,' shall be guilty before the supreme court; and whoever says, 'You fool,' shall be guilty enough to go into the fiery hell.

So, if I warn others that getting angry is a gateway to hell, pardon the pun, am I too an enemy of the human race? I beg everyone, please let us not use the word of God and twist it into a court battle. It is the word of God for crying out loud. How can mere men pass judgement upon it? Why on earth would they believe they are so grandiose? It truly baffles me. I believe that mindset is the work of the evil one, Satan, the father of Lies. By following Christ and walking the narrow path we are in a way helping ourselves stay out of the clutches of the evil one. Think of the bible as a safety manual set up to help you walk through this life with as little theft as possible. Remember the evil one's purpose is to steal, kill and destroy. God wants you to live life and live it abundantly. Jesus came to complete the law and He did just that. This is the message of Grace. God, His Son, His word, it is not something for us to debate over. It is just what it is. It is meant to encourage us not to tear us apart. The evil one is the one that gets in your ear and bends it saying you can not believe in this Most High God for you are '_____' whatever he has labeled you. You must remember he is the father of lies. Protect yourself daily with the proper attire. Trust me what ever really is sin will begin to not feel right to you. You will be convicted by the voice of righteousness that reminds you that you are a holy redeemed saint, you are a child of God and you just simply will begin to know and recognize when you are walking in the flesh. You will begin to mature spiritually. It will happen. However if you put up walls and say that is not for me because I prefer this, well, in the flesh you will continue to walk until you take those walls down. It is a choice. You can talk Gospel and truth to a non believer until you are blue in the face and as it says in the bible, they are blind and deaf to it. It just does not penetrate. All you can do is pray for that person. That way when and if they should seek, others have already intervened on their behalf and it is my belief that they can instantly be 'blinded by the light' so to say. People really can and do change. When they become believers and followers of Christ, they simply become a new creation. You will witness their fruit. It becomes undeniable that they indeed are different. 

Like I said, it is wild Wednesday and I never know what the day will bring. We never do. One of my favorite things (laughing because there are too many favorites to count) is when God suggests that today has enough trouble of it's own so don't fret about tomorrow. Stay in the moment. Great advice. Today I encourage you to stay in the moment. Enjoy life. Seek God. Read a bit out of his word. Get hungry for it. It truly will pump you up and fuel your days and sustain you through the rough times. 

Father, today I pray more and more of us realize what that emptiness inside of them is. A call to come home. I pray that we begin to shake off this slumber and wake up fully. May we crave your word Father and thirst for your direction. Oh Father what a glorious Life we would all live were we to invite you into our lives. I know all you have done for me even when I had walls up Father and you amaze me. I understand the footprints picture even more today. Thank you for carrying me so many times. I am thankful that I have sought you for you are Faithful. It is true. All your promises are true. May countless brothers and sisters seek you Father. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

Wendy, walks with God,

Mom of Many

© Wendy Glidden 2013

Don't Fret, God is Faithful. He ALWAYS Has 'This'

So, my last blog “Convicted by God” was completed Monday night, September 2nd, 2013, while the children played at play McDonalds and while Mike lost his patience with me blogging. Recently, after I read him the blogs “Have You Ever Been Pancaked” and “Suckerpunched”, I asked him what he thought. He looked at me totally deadpanned and said, “You need to find another hobby.” I looked at him totally astonished. “Hobby!” I exclaimed. “My blog is a far cry from a hobby! It’s my calling. You know I have to write. I am a mighty warrior in God’s army and my weapon is the pen!”  I closed my laptop and walked away shaking my head. Admittedly I was stunned by his comment. Me continuing to blog was not sitting well with him. So, while typing my latest blog at Play McDonalds, it was obvious that the longer I typed the more irritated he became. I wondered why he had even bothered to come with us. He knew I was bringing my laptop to get on the WiFi and finish my latest blog post. 

On the weekends we drive our home out into the country and camp out in the back acreage of some friends. It's truly beautiful and peaceful but I don't have WiFi there. So, here we were at Play McDonalds. The children were playing, I was blogging and Mike was losing it. He gave me and the children a 10 minute window to finish up. I laughed and continued to type out my blog. He walked over to my table and glared at me. I looked up and asked what he was angry about. He snarled at me and informed me I better hurry up because I was down to three minutes. Again I laughed and shook my head continuing to type. I was almost to my ending prayer anyway. I managed to save my blog and post it on both my personal page and my ‘YouAreWorthyToo’ fan page on Facebook as he stormed off with the children to get the car telling me my time was up. He pulled up next to the building as I finished up and Tia and I walked out together. Within minutes of publishing and posting my blog on Facebook my world blew up. I admittedly prayed that either God convict Mike or remove him from my life just four nights prior. However, never in my wildest dreams did I imagine it all unfolding like it did. Here is my post from Tuesday on my Facebook page with my link to the blog post “Convicted by God”:

Funny how you think you have things figured out and just when you think you understand God's timing, you find yourself mistaken. I had thought Mike and I would be living in separate homes by the beginning of next year. Less than 10 minutes after I published my post last night, everything changed. I find myself without a home, 6 children in tow and a car that was given back to me late in the evening that is undriveable and needing the help of a mechanic. I refuse to fret. After all it was my prayer to either convict him or have him removed from my life. They say some prayers are answered in a speedy fashion. This seems to be the case for me. It is I that longed to have my relationship work out with Mike. Time and time again God has shown me I never had Mike, Mike had me. It is not the same. K-Loves encouraging word hits home like it often does:

Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing.

~ Psalm 143:10, NLT

Here is my latest blog post . . . I hope it helps where ever you are in your walk with God: http://youareworthytoo.blogspot.com/2013/09/convicted-by-god.html

Today, it is wild wacky wonderful Wednesday, what a crazy day! Here was my morning post on both my personal page and my “You Are Worthy Too” today:

Wild Wacky Wonderful Weds. I opened up K-Loves encouraging word today and this is what I read: "You don't have enough faith," Jesus told them. "I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it would move. Nothing would be impossible."

~ Matthew 17:20, NLT

I used to think this meant literal mountains and I would think to myself ‘Yea right! Impossible.’ Now I see them as mountains we create when we feel overwhelmed and it is true. With my faith I blast them to vapor. I KNOW KNOW KNOW my God always has me. It is undeniable. Come check out my blog! God gave me the gift of writing and called me out to share my story as a way to encourage and lift my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ! and as I often do I posted the link to my blog.

I am blessed to have such faith and even more blessed to know the value of reading God's word. As my days have unfolded how much unnecessary worry I could have busied myself with. I did think to myself early Tuesday morning how sweet it would be if Mike were to go back to Florida and allow me to stay in our RV until my apartment was available, but there was no way I was going to ask him for such a big favor. Low and behold, he called me out of the blue Tuesday on my way back from lunch with Jean, my awesome sister in Christ who I am staying with this week, and proposed exactly that. I simply said, “Thank you. That would really help me out.” I still had no idea what was up with my car as it was in the process of being towed into the shop. Regardless, knowing I would have a place to stay for the next three months was literally an answer to a prayer. God is so good to me! He is good to all who believe and trust in Him.

Late Tuesday afternoon, the Car Clinic called me to update me on what they had found. A broken u-joint and my drive shaft had fallen out. “I lost the drive shaft” I exclaimed. The girl on the other end providing me with the information kind of chuckled and said, “No, the drive shaft was still there but you are very lucky you made it to where you did.” I inquired about how much she thought it was going to cost. She answered they didn’t know yet. I was a little sick, for I had just had the wheel bearings and drive shaft fixed last December right after I had left Mike the first time. I found it funny in an ironic sort of way that I was facing the same type of damage with my car again. Last time, my invoice was just shy of $1500.00. I asked her how often I could expect this to be a problem and that is when she asked, “Well, exactly what happened before the car began shaking?” I filled her in on the events of the night. 

In a gist, Tia and I were the last in the car. My arm and neck were still hurting and Tia had asked if she could carry the laptop for me. I handed it to her as I got up and told her to place it on the box behind the driver seat. When we got in the car and closed the doors, Mike instantly pulled away from the curb and in the process almost hit a car that was coming around the building. He slammed on the breaks and Tia lost her balance. Mike yelled at her. She called him a jerk. He called her a jerk too. She then jumped out of the car and refused to get back in as long as Mike was in the car. I got out of the car to talk with her and then the children all jumped out as well after unbuckling Jeffrey from his car seat. I looked at Mike and said, “Please apologize. As the driver you should have made sure your passengers were ready for you to take off." He refused and drove off leaving all of us behind. I was exasperated to say the least. That is when I realized my money and bank card were still in the car. Mike stopped at the corner and as I walked up to ask him for my stuff, he was in the process of telling me this was the last chance for me to get back in the car. I said, “It’s really my car and it would be nice if you would get out. I’ll meet you at the shop and get your jeep jumped.” Before I could even finish my sentence, he sped off leaving me, Tia and all his children on the side of the road. I looked at everyone and said, well, it’s going to be dark soon, we need to get to walking quickly. We were around the corner from McDonalds in the park with the walking path when my phone rang. I answered and it was Mike asking where we were. I told him where we were and soon he found us. He was still refusing to get out of the car and walk himself and Tia was being just as stubborn. I finally got her to agree to go back to play McDonalds and wait for me to get back. She said that would work. Once she was safely there, I drove Mike to the shop and jumped his jeep.  I thought it was weird that at first he seemed to be following me but when we got to 31, I went South and he continued East of 32. Less than a mile down the road, my car begin shaking. I slowed my speed and began praying to make it back to McDonalds. I was less than a mile away. As I turned the corner I heard a really loud metallic pop that scared me to death. Then, as I pulled into a parking space I heard the more awful metallic sounds. I parked the car and sent Tia a text to let her know we were outside. Without transportation I was really hosed. It was dark. I could no longer walk anywhere. I had no clothes, no school back packs. I prayed for insight and instantly a fellow sister in Christ came to mind. I called her and she is such a true sister in Christ. She and her mom arrived within 15 minutes picked us up and in two cars drove us to her home. Her mother had brought extra ‘instant’ beds and luckily I had pajamas and extra clothes in my trunk for the children. Always be prepared for anything has been my motto for years. I sent Mike a text asking what he had done to my car as well as asking if he would be kind enough to bring the home back up to the shop so I could unpack it all. He agreed to bringing the home and basically denied doing anything to the car. I only told the girl at the mechanic shop about him driving off and then giving the car back to me. She replied, “Well, we aren’t saying this is what did happen, but the mechanic said the way the U-Joint broke indicated that someone was attempting to do damage to the car purposely. She went on to say the only way to break a U joint the way mine was broken would be for someone to put the car in neutral, rev it and then slam it in drive.” This was no shock to me. I already knew Mike had done something to the car. I think I wanted to believe it was him being stupid. Sadly I think it truly was done purposely. He, being a mechanic himself would know better than to do something as brutal to a car as that. I then asked how long she thought it might be before they had the car fixed. She said they were hoping to have it back to me by the next day late in the afternoon. I was amazed and stated that would be great. She told me not to hold her to that but they knew how badly I needed my car and they were going to do all they could to get it done quickly.

Today at 4 pm they called to let me know the car was fixed and I could come pick it up for $150.00!!!!!! Again, I say, I trusted God. I know He has a plan for me. I refused to waiver from my faith. I refused to fret or worry. We are advised against worrying in the bible.God is faithful. Trust in Him. Give it all to Him. Knock on that door and keep knocking. Get into His word. You will discover amazing truths.  You will begin to see how awesome and faithful our Father God is. You will also begin to understand the forces of evil and how to protect yourself. We are in a spiritual battle EVERY day. Don’t you think you would be better off knowing what armor you need in order to protect yourself and your loved ones?

I hope this post causes you to become curious enough to check out my full story. It certainly has been a most colorful one. Here I was thinking I had not lived much of a life myself until God began unfolding it all for me. Now I’m like, “Wow! I’m only 44 years old and I haven’t even told half of my story and really, I myself am amazed at the life I have lived!” I am truly blessed as all believers are. Do not fall for Satan’s evil web of lies. There is NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING you could do that would keep your Heavenly Father from throwing you a party should you decide you are ready to come home like the prodigal son. He came home with the intention of being a slave for his father and that is not how the story ended. Check it out for yourself. Your heavenly father is waiting for your return as well.

Father, I come before you today with such joy in my heart. You amaze me. You are so faithful. I am getting better at trusting in you with all my heart even when the father of lies is whispering differently to me. Thank you for that. It is you that has calmed my heart, given me strength, and seen me through. Why would you do that for all my life and then suddenly stop? The answer is you would not for that is not in your nature. You love all your children. We are so blessed. How blessed we are to call you Father. To have you save the day for us again and again and again. I know I should not have been in the situation I was in for you had confirmed that time and time again. Yet as a foolish girl, I longed for something that was not to be and you did not punish me. You simply waited for me to figure it out. I laugh now thinking why on earth did I not phrase my prayer like that years ago! Who knew you would move so swiftly to show me the truth of my situation. How I love you. I just wanted to say thank you for how much you love me. I feel your love beaming down on me like the sun. It feels wonderful. I could bask in it forever. I will bask in it. What a lovely place to be in life. Thank you Father. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Wendy (walks with God)

Mom of Many

© Wendy Glidden 2013

Walking By The Spirit

Hello everyone! I hope the day has found with with a smile on your face and a song in your heart! Today I find God's love for me miraculous. His desire for me to live overwhelms me some days. In the realm of it all I am here but a moment just like you, yet He sent his son to save us all. What a gift. What a blessing.

I have these flash cards that my church printed up and I flip through them sometimes when I am trying to get in the mood to write. I found these three fitting for the mindset I am in this afternoon. This next weekend is the Women's Cross Roads Great Banquet #45. I attended #44 back in February. My small group is going to attend the send off this week.

Going to the Great Banquet helped me completely get the concept of Forgiveness, Grace and Agape. It is an experience I will never forget. In the simplest form, attending the Great Banquet was Life Changing.

It was while in reflection upon that weekend I found myself reading these flash cards. These 3 spoke to me and I have decided I must share all 3 of them with you.

Beginning with Galatians, Chapter 2, verse 20:

verse 20: I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I that live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.

Next we go to Ephesians, Chapter 4, verse 22 - 24:

verse 22: that, in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit,

verse 23: and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, 

verse 24:  and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth. 

And we end with 2 Corinthians, Chapter 5, verse 17:

verse 17: Therefore if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation; old things have passed away, and look, new things have come.

It is my opinion that if you are not seeking God with all your heart, you are not reading His word. It is by reading His word that you begin to understand exactly what walking in the spirit feels and looks like.

I think many people believe that once a person accepts Christ for their savior they should no longer sin. It is also my belief that Satan planted that lie to cause confusion within the church as well as separation among believers. After all if you are saved and then you stumble how well does that represent God working in your life?

Satan convinced us to hide our shames and failures from one another. My sisters and brothers, we are flesh. We wake up day after day and go immediately into a spiritual battle. As soon as you spread gossip, as soon as you say something with a sarcastic tone, as soon as you react in anger, you have sinned. I don't know about you, but on occasion these fleshly characteristics have a way of making an appearance in my life.

These actions never leave me with a good taste in my mouth these days. My righteousness convicts me of this behavior. It is not what I desire to be and it does not sit well with me upon reflection.

Walking in the spirit means I try to resemble Christ in all ways. Satan knows this. He also knows my faults as well as my weakness in all areas. I am convinced the more one tries to walk in the spirit the harder the evil one attacks in all forms.  Last Sunday one of our members made mention of how he envisioned Satan checking his database for the best way to attack us. I know he is a smooth operator and quite capable of seeing through the cracks in my armor at any given moment. This alone is why it is so important to dress daily for battle.

My life belongs to Christ. I begin my days with preparation. Some mornings I read out of a devotional first thing. Every morning I listen to Christian radio. Singing praises and laughing will always put you in a more joyous, hopeful mood. Each day I have devotionals I read, I go through my flash cards, I check out my alphabet picture with Bible verses on it, I carry my Bible with me and I pray.

It is my goal to walk by the Spirit always. Jesus is my focus. With that being said, there are days when I stumble. Today I no longer convict myself of being unworthy of God's love. I know that is another lie from hell. Now, I get on my knees and pray for more strength, wisdom and understanding. I thank God for sending Jesus who died Once for All sin, including mine. I know I don't need to pray for forgiveness when I have occasion to stumble for I am already forgiven of all my sins for all time. The evil one wants me to focus on my sin and my fear of my sin being too big to be forgiven. God wants us to focus on our righteousness, understanding forgiveness because in doing so, we will actually improve our walk!
I find it ironic that the perfect song just came on the radio to tie up this post. I have been interrupted countless times and it has taken all day to put these thoughts down on paper. I hope they are an encouragement to you.

Father, today I pray more of my fellow brothers and sisters wake up and begin seeking you. I pray they do not allow the evil one to convince them they are not worthy of your love. I pray they discover what your grace is. I pray they come to realize how special they are to you. I pray more and more of my fellow brothers and sisters begin seeking you in greater more devoted ways. I pray together, strengthened by You, we as the body of Christ become bolder. I pray we begin to move as a body moves when agile and healthy. Father I thank you for the strength and understanding you have blessed me with over my lifetime. I thank you for all I have lived through for living through such trials and tribulations has taught me to find the silver lining that always exists in the midst of all storms. I pray that all my brothers and sisters come to realize there is nothing more special about anyone of us when it comes to you and your love for us all. I pray they realize the difference in the relationship between you and all your children merely lies in whether they are seeking you or not as well as how often they seek you. I pray they come to know in their hearts that You are Faithful. You have provided us with a handbook for survival. Today I pray that more and more and more of us begin to get into Your word Father. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Wendy, Mom of Many

© Wendy Glidden 2013

Children of Divorce or Those With Two Homes

I have had to pray long and hard on where my blog seemed to be heading. I had to make sure it was not about me and my hurts but what I am meant to expose from darkness to light. I want you to know I do not despise Jeff at all anymore. There was a time I could not stand him for what he had put me through. Thank God I am beyond that. Time really does have a way of healing all wounds.

I myself am a child of divorce. My father and mother married at a young age due to my conception. My brother followed me by a mere 10 months 10 days. Stress over finances I am sure did not help my parents. My father left us when I was only 3 years old. I did not see him again until I was close to 5. By age 7, I had been informed by my step mother how unworthy my mother was of my father's devotion. In response to something I had questioned, my mother unloaded a few things off her chest regarding my father. My point here is simply this. That was too much for a child!

My grandmother attempted to clear the muddy water for me by pointing out how young my parents were and how out of line Chris had been with her list of faults regarding my mother. I knew by age 10 this was something I never wanted to do to any child of mine should I have the burden of raising a child of divorce. This was such a big deal to me that when newly married to Jeff we had a discussion how if we did not work out, we were promising each other NOT to do this to our child. It is easy to promise something like that when you are getting along. It is harder to follow through when in the heat of the moment.

If you are a parent that has fallen out of love and are pursuing or have already gotten a divorce from your spouse, I beg you, rise above your own hurt, pain, anguish and judgement. You will Harm YOUR relationship with your child if you talk negatively about their other parent. You may win their love by destroying the other parent but it is Love by deceit. It will not last. Time will reveal truths. It does NOT matter how YOU feel about your ex. YOU don't have the right to bring up their weaknesses to your children. Eventually your child will grow up and they will begin to see things through a new lens. Trust me when I say you don't want to be on the end of judgement and anger from  your child because you felt it necessary to spout off about what a jerk, a looser, a cheater, a rotten provider THEIR father or mother was in YOUR eyes. You are doing yourself and your child as well as your ex a gigantic dis-service with this type of behavior.

I had the pleasure of having this confirmed by my oldest son recently. He thanked me for NOT tearing His Father down. He also mentioned how he had felt robbed of his relationship with me in his youth because of what His Father had told him. Turns out my son sees me for who I have always been. Praise God, I have been redeemed of all the lies and deceit and not by my own defense.

I know fully well how hard it is to bite your tongue when your child is informing you of your faults and failures according to your ex spouse. Especially when some of it is so far stretched from the truth that you find yourself biting your tongue til it bleeds. I know how the heat of that moment causes the human side of you to long to get up on your own soap box to defend yourself. I thank God for showing me how detrimental this type of behavior is. I mentioned once in one of my first few blogs how I wrote down what type of parent I wanted to be when God called me at a young age and informed me I would be a mother to many. This was one of the promises I made to myself. No matter how angry I was at the Father of my children, I would not tear him down in front of my children. EVEN if they stooped to that level, I would not. I stumbled a little when it came to the Father of my 4th and 5th babies. Children lurk around the corner. I warn you to guard your tongue and emotions if your children are close by. In time I will share how this made me feel. Let's just say none of it was warm and fuzzy!

I would also encourage anyone going through divorce to not use your children as pawns. Do not get in the way of your child's relationship with the opposing parent. It's not your place. If you have a spouse that is abusive pray for them. Pray they never hurt your child. The courts are not the greatest at protection. Remember you cannot control everything that goes on during visitation but you can keep your eyes and ears open. Keep a journal if you have just cause to worry. Ask questions wisely. Keep your focus on your child and not the other parent.

You should also know children of divorce have an edge over their parents. Yes. You heard me. We have an edge. If you stoop so low as to inform us of how you feel about the opposing parent, we will one day use this to our advantage. We will brag on how awesome the other parent is or how they do certain things for us. Some of it may not even be true. Stand firm in your own parenting and pray for strength. You are going to need it!

As I end this chapter I am going to leave you with this: It has been flashed to me several times that what was too much for Bruce was the craziness that was continuing between Jeff and I where our children were concerned. The last time I saw Bruce was after we had tracked down, found and removed Cassy and Billy from Jeff's new wife's care. They had up and moved during the children's summer visit. It was Jeff's mom that had alerted me to the situation. I will blog in detail what happened soon. I don't know how it took me so long to realize why Bruce ran and blocked contact. I get it today. I am still praying on revealing these shoes I walked in.

I leave you with this favorite phrase of mine. I came up with it when I walked out on Mike last November. I think I am going to use it as a title chapter . . . it is a bit long but I have been saying it for six months now. "You don't have to be beat up to be beat down."

Today I pray for all children of divorce. I pray for all parents going through the process and those still licking their wounds. I pray you rise above your pain. I pray you seek wisdom on the best way to raise your child or children in a split home. I pray you have strength to get through all the situations that come your way. I pray that you are able to resist tearing your spouse down to gain your child's love. Father I come to you today and ask you to meet those in their pain and lift them. Fill single mother's and father's with strength, peace and wisdom. Fill the children with your Love. In Jesus name I pray. Amen

Wendy, Mom of Many

© Wendy Glidden 2013 

Back Flash

What a journey this has been. I knew the pain of my giving Amanda Rose up for adoption was going to be something to relive. I was not prepared for how overwhelming it turned out to be. If I could have cut out my heart, I think I would have. I cried out for relief. Even in reflection it is still so raw my eyes fill with tears and my heart is heavy. I think it is why I have been calling out to others that are in a dark place right now. I encourage you to press on. Find a Friend. I'll be your friend! I'm already your long lost sister! I know heartache. I am familiar with the thoughts that it would be easier to go to sleep and never wake up again. That is what the evil one wants you to believe. It is a lie.

Life always has twists and turns. Aren't you interested what may be around the next corner?

My life has been a roller coaster for sure. So, this is where I was at. In pain. I see the road ahead I'm being called to share and again I called out to My Father. What next? I have had signs. He has shared things with me. Things I had tucked back in the recesses of my brain. Lately I have been that obstinate child saying how do I share that? I know the answer. I listen for the title that He will give me. Once I hear it and type it in He gives me the rest.

Unfortunately, I've been too busy voicing my fears and concerns over what I am led to share to open myself up to hearing my next chapter title. Ever hear the phrase, "I'm dragging my feet."? Yea, that would have been me.

I resolved last night to pray for direction, protection and strength. This morning I was awakened with my next title. As always, it is so perfect. Back Flash. I've been having a lot of them. So funny that I never thought of the title myself. I know it was because I simply was not ready and willing to proceed. I want to thank all those that prayed for protection over me. I felt lighter yesterday and was able to write a blog. I know it was more for me than anyone. It helped me lift my head back up. So thank you my fellow prayer warriors!

In my blog, The Only Baby I Ever Planned, I shared how Bruce had called me saying that this was all too much for him and he had changed his mind. In the heat of writing that blog I was still in the same mental shape I was in the first time. I was confused and full of overwhelming heart ache. I just did not get how he felt it would be better to abandon me and the baby he had begged me to have with him. I was angry at him still. I had never put myself in Bruce's shoes. I allowed him no grace.

Recently I have had many back flashes and they have not been pleasant to say the least. Somehow I knew I'd have to talk about the turmoil I lived through regarding Jeff and our mutual children. I now understand what it was that was too much for Bruce and in my heart I can no longer be angry at him. Allow me to paint the scene.

My divorce from Jeff was far from easy or pleasant and the repercussions of leaving him haunted me off and on until our children were teenagers. Anyone that has ended a relationship knows full well the battle that often ensues do to each parties hurts. This relationship was one of those. I think it happens more in abusive situations than others and if you've read my blog Staring Down the Barrel of a Shotgun you know full well that mine was an abusive relationship.

If you have never been in a physically abusive relationship and you know someone who is currently in one you may question why this persons stays there. Perhaps you wonder why don't they leave? The most asked question is why do they go back?  I know why. You see, I was that girl.

I promised to publish this blog before the end of the day and it is 11:48 pm EST. I am exhausted but know what I am being led to share. I don't care for it. It's not anything I care to relive but I know God is showing me something. Who knows perhaps many of you will figure it out before I do!

Today I come before you Father asking for more strength and clarity on how I am to share all of this. I thank you for getting me through every rough spot I have been in. I thank you for your Grace. Where would I be without it? I stand in awe of how you have led me to writing again. I thank you for all my education over the years. I thank you for helping me find fellowship. I pray Father that anyone secluded from others find fellowship with fellow believers. I also pray for all who are living in an abusive situation. Please lift them up. Fill them with the Faith you filled me with the last time Father. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Wendy, Mom of Many

© Wendy Glidden 2013

My Scarlet Letter

The battle between Chris and I had not gone according to plan. The only thing I had accomplished was turning her into a meaner prison guard. Not only had I proven her right by losing my virginity, I had gone a step further and shown her I was capable of doing dark deeds.

That summer was brutal working for Chris. The only highlight to each day was that I got to talk with Debbie, Bill's wife. Chris disliked her as much if not more than she disliked me. It was her pure dislike of the both of us that brought Debbie and I closer. We had a lot of fun laughing together. She was the only person on earth that could understand the cruelty of Chris completely. One of my favorite Debbie moments would have to be the day I was in charge of 3 gigantic burn piles. I wanted to add some highlights to my hair but doing so was OUT of the question! I had managed to purchase a bottle of this stuff called "Sun In". The gist was it worked on heat and sun. I had sprayed some into my hair that morning and then blew my hair dry. I didn't notice any difference. You could say I was not a believer in the whole works on heat thing . . . yet. I went out and met my father in the yard. He gave me a quick lesson regarding the fires he was setting and how I was to keep them from growing out of control. I worked those fires for hours. It was a hot day and being in the midst of fire piles made it VERY hot. I found myself mesmerized by fire. It seemed alive to me. The way it moved. The crazy way it jumped. I could even hear it breath. I'm sure a fire fighter would agree a fire is just shy of a living entity. It's scary amazing. Anyway, I finally had them down to ash piles and I was more than ready for some lunch. I went into the office and Debbie exclaimed, "What did you do to your hair?!" I was a little confused. I replied, "I sprayed some "Sun In" in it this morning but I didn't see a difference." She couldn't even talk anymore. She managed to say the word Mirror and pointed to the bathroom. I ran. She looked so shocked. I was a little frightened. As soon as I saw myself I screamed. My hair literally looked like a fire itself without any blues of course . . . perhaps you could say my hair resembled a lions mane! I never used "Sun In" again! Oh the scene at the dinner table that night was priceless!
I developed way too fast as a child. My nick name was weed because I would grow in spurts. By the time I made it to the 6th grade I had the body of a woman. Personally I have never been comfortable with my chest. It has seemed to be a curse. In the 6th grade I basically went to bed not needing a bra and by morning my mother had to take me shopping for one. It was so bad I couldn't go to school that day without one. As if that wouldn't be horrible enough had it happened to you, I was called down to the Principal's office that next day. It turns out adults aren't too into instant boobs either! I was told it was unacceptable to stuff one's bra. Let's just say it was one of my first want to ball up and die moments. My nickname was Dolly Parton and Chesty for the remaining year.

I did get a little chunkolicious my freshman year but that weight seemed to drop off over the summer. By the time school was getting ready to start I had slimmed down a lot. Chris was taking me to purchase my school clothes. My clothing budget was less than my brothers. He earned more because he worked out in the field with my father and always had overtime! Since I was obviously a slut who could not be trusted, Chris had decided my clothes should be very lose as not to outline my body. I had to purchase pants that were a size too big and wear them with a belt. It was so ridiculous that if I took my belt off some of my pants would fall right off my hips without even being unbuttoned! The irony was not lost on me.

I could have told her I wasn't interested in sex until I was blue in the face. She would Not have believed me. I was already labeled a liar so what I had to say held no value. I hated my wardrobe and I was not thrilled with my life. Around the first month of school being back in session, I made a failed attempt to end my life. All I ended up doing was sleeping off my abundance of swallowed pills.


I had a pretty tough schedule my sophomore year. All college prep classes. No study hall allowed. Chris was not into idle time at all! She had signed me up for speech class. I was the only sophomore in a class of juniors and seniors. I was terrified. The mere thought of standing in front of these strangers and giving a speech had me trembling so bad I can't even explain it. I did not concur that phobia until 10 years later! Anyway, I decided to take myself out of the class. I forged my father's signature on the withdraw fail form. When my report card came I was in more trouble than I care to go into. The good news is the school had to take the withdraw failure off my record and that move was enforced by Chris. The school never stood a chance with her arguing against them. My grade point average was unharmed. Yippee.

Looking back I realize I was not talking to God daily anymore. I knew he was real. That I could not deny. I just no longer believed he was cheering for "Team Wendy". That year I decided I must have missed something with this whole sex thing. There had to be a reason Chris was so convinced I was into it. I decided the next chance I had to explore this painful activity, I would. As it happened I had a few band friends that Chris approved of. One night we all went out. We ended up at a house in Carmel and this is so awful to say because I don't even remember my "boyfriends" name but he was there. Everyone went into separate rooms and I was in a room with this boy. He had a condom so no worries about babies. I was no more thrilled with the result than I was when I had performed the deed with Danny Joe. Adults, I decided, were crazy. Who in their right mind actually enjoyed this?! The one good thing that had come out of my giving myself to this guy was I received an invite to the Carmel prom. Of course Chris would not let me attend that! Proms produce babies you know! She informed me I would have time to go to a prom my Junior and Senior year. I was much too young to go to one my Sophomore year. Needless to say, my guy was forced to pick another girl to take to the prom and shock of all shocks I never heard from him again. I would like to say I was sad over that but honestly I was not. I never had feelings for him. Just curiosity over sex.

Chris and I had battled numerous times over the year. Once over my opinion of a sitcom. Another time over me loaning a hair dryer to Tami in the dead of winter. We had two of them. The one I loaned her shut off after 10 minutes and you had to wait for it to cool down before it would turn back on. Tami had been drying her hair in front of a wood stove so she really needed a hair dryer. She had that hair dryer for 3 weeks when Chris realized it was gone. I was grounded for my deed. I decided Chris was the most selfish person I'd ever met in my life. One day as summer was fast approaching I asked, "Would you allow me to get a job working somewhere else? I really don't like working for you." By the Grace of God, she conceded. Westfield only had the Dairy Queen back then. I imagine she thought no one would hire me. Unfortunately for her, I was hired! My first real job. She could no longer be in control of my paycheck. Up until my job at Dairy Queen I had never even seen my paychecks!

The craziest thing Chris ever did to me was attempt to get me fired. I showed up for work that evening and my manager Sheila pulled me to the side and informed me that my mother had come in earlier and requested that I be fired for my own good. I was dumbfounded. I didn't even know my mom knew where I was working and why would she want me fired? My head was spinning. I looked at Shelia and said, "My mom, long brown hair?" and I placed my hand at my waist line. Shelia looked completely confused and said, "No, shoulder length and auburn." I was floored. I gasped, "That's not my mom! That's my step-mother!" Shelia said, "Well, I told her we had no reason to fire you. You're the best worker we have." She informed me that Chris was pretty hot when she left.

The next day I called my mom and told her what was going on and begged to come live with her for the summer. I don't know why she caved but she did. Chris was not happy but she did not stop me. I don't think she wanted my dad to know the lengths she had gone to in an attempt to run / ruin my life. I had my mom's car to drive. We had basically the same hours. I would drop her off at work do my shift and go back and wait for her to get off of work and then we'd go home. I was 16 now and decided that perhaps I should look up Danny Joe. I did not want to sleep with a bunch of men. It was bad enough that I had already slept with two of them. So much for saving myself and going through life with only one person. I figured if I wanted to keep that number from growing it would be in my best interest to track down Danny. It took me a couple of hours to find that house again. When I did, it was Danny Joe's sister Tracie that I found. She explained that Danny Joe lived with their mom. She hadn't seen him for a few months but would take me over to her mom's apartment. My heart was pounding so hard on the way over there. I hadn't seen Danny Joe since the day I'd forced him to sleep with me. When we got there Danny wasn't there yet. Tracie introduced me to her mom and the front door opened. In came Danny Joe and another boy who turned out to be one of his step-brothers. Danny Joe was smoking a cigarette. I couldn't believe my eyes. Seeing me standing there, I'm not sure he believed his. He made some snide comment as he walked by me. Something like, "Have you come back around for a boyfriend? That's not how things work. I'm not up for grabs I guess you can have my brother." I told him, "I don't need your help with finding a boyfriend Danny Joe. I'm quite capable of doing that on my own." He went on by and plopped down on the couch. I went into the kitchen with Tracie and her mom. She was fixing us lemonade. I stood at the end of the table glaring at Danny Joe. His mom asked how we knew each other. I said, "We met at a Sunday School class four years ago." His mom seemed surprised. She then informed Tracie that Danny Joe was going to be a dad. I felt the room spin. I don't know how I managed to stay standing. Danny and his brother headed back out after that. I told Tracie I needed to be going soon myself. I explained I had to work a shift that night and I needed to get ready for work. Tracie decided she wanted to hang out with her mom. She walked me out to my car and apologized for her brother. She asked me not to be a stranger. I don't even remember what I said. All I remember was I felt like I had been separated from my body. There was no way I could hang around and watch Danny Joe become a father. That was the last time I ever laid eyes on Danny Joe. It wasn't the last time I thought about him though.

As I drove off I looked up to the heavens and yelled. "Really? Really?" I was so infuriated at the way my life was turning out. I continued on my rant to God. "Danny Joe is having a baby? It's not with me! What about this grand plan you had for me? Hugh? Now I have to find someone else? Do you take great joy in this?"

Again I warn you. Anger is not a wise emotion. It clouds your mind and allows you to do things you would not do under normal circumstances. Anger can turn you into someone you never were. When you feel this emotion taking the wheel in your life, I encourage you to get on your knees and pray.

I must get ready for the day ahead. I can't believe it is already Friday. Soon I will be kicked back enjoying the weekend with my babies. I love the laughter they have filled my life with. Babies are blessings . . . took me a while to fully appreciate that to the fullest! May you have a blessed day my friends.

Wendy, Mom of Many