When Anger Rises, What is Your Game Plan?

Fantastically Fun-Filled Family Friday! I awoke today to discover the place I get all my health food and cleaning, laundry, bathroom necessities, first aid, cough, cold, fever relief, and beauty supplies is offering their annual membership for a mere $1.00 . . . all new customers also get $20 worth of free items to try when they come back for more goodness in their second, third, fourth and fifth month!!!! That's $100 worth of free items to try that I already know you will love. I switched to this store in March of 2011 and have been a more than happy customer ever since. As my friends know I'm a penny pinching momma. The money this store has saved me is mind blowing. The best part about shopping here has been the peace of mind knowing this manufacture cares about health and wellness. Also this is where I have purchased my 'weight loss supplies' so tasty my children won't keep out of them and yummy enough that you actually enjoy consuming them yourself! Oh and if teeth matter to you, they have the best tooth polish on the market, and all their dental and skin care is safe for those going through chemo or anything like that! Switch stores, save money, provide better health for your entire family. Let me know if you want more details! This is the best gift one friend can give to another. I already did my shopping this morning and threw in the items I need by next week. Upon checkout I was offered buy one get one free items and two of them are my favorite 'candy bars' with purpose! I am so excited!! I am telling you this company should have been called the Rocking Fireworks Health and Wellness store because their sales are so spectacular!.

I am looking forward to my weekend with the children. Michael has his first basketball game tomorrow. He is so excited. He woke up today thinking it was game day! I had to deliver the bad news that today was another school day.

When I got into the office and was finally able to check my email, I read K-Loves encouraging word for the day.

A gentle answer deflects anger. ~ Proverbs 15:1, NLT

I had to giggle to myself as I read this truth. If the bible is not a handbook for how to best walk through situations in life, I don't know what is! When I have a child that is angry and another child steps in to comment on the situation, I have gotten into the habit of stopping them short by simply saying, "Please don't throw gas on my fire!" Meaning the situation is obviously volatile and I do not need any of them increasing that intensity. Dealing with someone who is angry is almost as difficult as dealing with someone who is intoxicated. Anger, in my belief clouds the mind and keeps us from making wise decisions. I know this is also why we are advised to steer clear of anger. Hands down, anger is one of the evil one's best ways to get a foothold into your heart and have more control over your thoughts. When you find yourself getting angry you need to have a game plan to calm yourself down. You may even have to have a basket full of ways to deal with your emotions. One for when you are in the car may not work so well out in the public eye! In the car I call for a moment of silence or singing, their choice. I tell the children I need a moment to calm down and I turn the Christian music up a little so that they know I'm serious! At home, I have even put myself in a time out! It's amazing how little ones will quit what they are doing when you tell them you don't trust yourself because you are so angry so you are going to put yourself in a five minute time out so that you can have a conversation with your heavenly Father! When getting angry at a spouse I refuse to fight it out in a moment of anger. I openly admit I cannot think rationally and I don't want to say something I can't take back. I also have threatened and followed through with prayer as many of you know from the blog post 'Convicted by God' that I published in September. Should you find yourself curious to see how that all played out, here are the links to the three posts that play that entire scene out: 

1. http://youareworthytoo.blogspot.com/2013/09/convicted-by-god.html
2. http://youareworthytoo.blogspot.com/2013/09/dont-fret-god-is-faithful-he-always-has.html
3. http://youareworthytoo.blogspot.com/2013/09/better-off-with-god.html

As my grandma said to me when I was younger, "Be careful what you pray for you just might get it." To which I asked, "Why would I pray for something unless I wanted it?" Which she replied, "God has a sense of humor Wendy, you never know how what you desire will be delivered!" Boy was she ever right about that! My advice don't pray in a moment of anger!! I will admit God is wonderful and he uses everything to work good. I have witnessed it time and time again. Even what I am going through right now. I am amazed to see the changes that have occurred in my life over the last two months. I'm like, pinch me. Is this really my life? I know it is. Even in the midst of turmoil I am dancing in the rain. This is the major difference in living life with your own strength and only for yourself and giving your life to Christ and following Him. I prefer an adventurous life. Of course if you have read my blog posts from the beginning you know that much about my story already! The crazy thing is my life has been MORE adventurous since I got on my knees and said, "Your will not mine".

I hope I have peaked your curiosity enough to get you to at least read those 3 linked posts and even more so to dive back to the beginning of this blog and read it all. There are miracles and all kinds of crazy stuff inside! I have been blessed to have been allowed to be a witness to God's glory in so many ways. I still have so many things to share. I am excited to get back to it as what the Lord has been flashing to me takes me back to after the adoption and my near death to some seriously crazy events. I was fearful on how to share and as with all the rest God is giving it to me in flashes and has me laughing. This weekend as my children go to bed, I will begin drifting back in time! I hope you decide to stick around and read more of my life journey!

Father today I come to you with childish wonder. What an amazing Father you are. How blessed I am to have woken up and returned home. How blind I was. How far I ran. Yet when I got on my knees crying and wailing you opened the door again and welcomed me home. Since then you have saved my life, sent me a witness, allowed me to see my current home shrouded in crystals and so much more. I love how you work. Even through pain you flourish me. I love who I am in Christ. Thank you for grace and mercy. Thank you for your son whose name I pray in. It is my prayer that many more of my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ also get on their knees and give in to your will. Had I only understood that your plan is so much more for me than I could have designed on my own. I am sure I am not the only rebel in the family! Call my fellow rebel brother and sisters home. Break them down Father. Stretch them until they know they can only make it through on your strength. While the process may at first feel painful, I know the beauty on the other end and I pray they are able to glimpse it early on so they are not hurt and confused by the events that will take place. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Wendy, walks with God
Mom of Many

© Wendy Glidden 2013

It's Got to Start With Me!

So again this morning, I was stirred awake by a song. As I came to understand the words themselves, I sat up on full alert. This is indeed what I have wanted all my life. I am a vital part of the body of Christ so it only makes sense that I would need to act as such and stop waiting on someone else to take the first step. I wondered what more am I to do?

Here are the lyrics that I heard: "I really wanna change the world / I really wanna sing your song / But I know revival's got to start with me" as I have gotten in the habit of doing, I have located the full song with the lyrics included. I have sung this song when it has been played on the radio, but to get a feel of what I am to share today, I am going to treat myself to watching the video in it's entirety! I hope you take the time to do the same!

  

So, I guess those of us that really want to change the world, including myself, need to always remember that we start on our knees to do this! It is very comforting to also realize that if I try to do something in my own strength, I am doing nothing. Instead of crashing through doors, I need to wait for God to open them. Outside of God, I am just a girl. Nothing more, nothing less. With God at my side, directing my footsteps, while leaning on His strength, I am every bit as mighty as Daniel and David! Now that is good news!

This morning after I chatted with God, I picked up my phone to check the time and saw I had a text message that came through at 1:57 AM. It was from Mike. In a gist it was a pretty big apology text. This is the first one of it's kind. I wondered. Is God working on his heart? When I came into work, I turned on Moody radio and caught an interview from a couple right here in Indianapolis. They had divorced and remained so for 10 years, when by the Grace of God, they were brought back together. I missed some of their interview but I felt my heart moved. I must be honest in saying, I would love nothing more than for Mike to grow spiritually and put Christ front and center, for that is the only way he would ever know how he is to treat me. Even with others saying that they know he is not the one for me, I have pondered the thought, could he ever grow into the one? With that being said, this is the prayer I say at night where Mike is concerned:

I forgive you for all you've done to me. 

I pray for you even though I set you free.

May you grow into the husband I know you can be.

May I remain the one you long to see.

My heart it breaks, it kills me to let you go.

For you may not return to me this I know.

But if you stay you'll never grow

And I can't continue this way you know.

May your heart break, may you come to find

You'd love to follow this God of mine.

The Most High God, Creator of ALL

I pray to your knees you finally fall

And when you lift your face to Him

May you find your true love for me again.

In Jesus name I pray.

So, I would be a liar if I claimed his words did not touch my heart. They did. So, I sent him this text as a reply:

This morning I recalled your embrace.

I pictured your handsome face.

I wondered if I showed you enough grace.

Yet the Lord is showing me truth.

You're caught up in the thoughts of youth.

You're all about you and nothing about me.

And this is why I had to set you free.

I pray one day you will return

but the Lord said with me you'll never learn.

So each night a prayer for you I say

May you be convicted more each passing day.

If and when you have the Lord front and center

Into marriage we can enter.

I pray you are able and willing

For to be in your arms again would be so thrilling.

Until you write me a letter by pen

I shall not text you again.

His reply, "It's in the mail."

Count me floored. Mike does not write. Well, not from the heart anyway. I received a couple of letters during the times he was in jail and they were so unmoving, I threw them all away!

In the mean time, should it take more than a decade, my focus is going to stay on God and His word. I know not where he is leading me, but I know I will follow. I am blessed beyond measure to have such a close relationship with Him again, especially after all I did to ruin it! I am not going to stray. He has let me know I am loved beyond measure. I do not need to wait around weeping for a man. I have a loving Father to carry me through this life. I know not if Mike will ever return to me. I know many most likely think he and I will never be together again. Others might even believe there is another man out there for me. I, however, feel strongly that I tied myself with Mike when I said my vows to him standing before God. We are unevenly yoked right now but God can move those who seek him. I know in my heart Mike is aware of God. Only time will tell if he is strong enough to get down on his knees and allow God to transform him into a new creation. I do know God will not allow me to be deceived again by Mike. My eyes are too wide open and I will continue to pray to keep them open. I will continue to pray for clearer vision. The Lord is front and center in my life and that is the way things will stay. 

My go to verse this year has been from Psalm 46, specifically verse 10. From my MacArthur study bible it reads:

"Cease striving and know that I am God;

I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth"

As I have come to do, I find myself needing more and more and more of God's word. It's almost as if I cannot get enough. There is so much wisdom within the pages though, you need to devour them slowly so that you are able to better digest them. I have read this entire Psalm a few times admittedly. The words themselves energize me in ways I cannot begin to explain into words. With that being said, I feel the urge to share this entire Psalm with you. I may have done this once already but when moved by the spirit I must do as urged. Pslam 46, verses 1 - 11 taken out of the my study bible mentioned above:

verse 1: God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

verse 2: Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change and though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea;

verse 3:  Though its waters roar and foam, Though the mountains quake at its swelling pride. 

verse 4: There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, The holy dwelling places of the Most High.

verse 5: God is in the midst of her, she will not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns.

verse 6: The nations made an uproar, the kingdoms tottered; He raised His voice, the earth melted.

verse 7: The Lord of hosts is with us; The God of Jacob is our stronghold.

verse 8: Come, behold the works of the Lord, Who has wrought desolations in the earth.

verse 9: He makes wars to cease to the end of the earth; He breaks the bow and cuts the spear in two; He burns the chariots with fire.

verse 10: "Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

verse 11: The Lord of hosts is with us; The God of Jacob is our stronghold.

I tell you, this Psalm makes me want to get up and dance with pure elated joy. What a revelation! Today I am so joyous, I can't even put it into words. I can only imagine what I would be feeling right now were I leaning on my own strength. I would be an absolute mess! Satan would have won the battle where I am concerned. Thank God, literally, for coming here so that we may live our lives abundantly. If you are miserable, if you are dealing with depression or even some other mental / emotional issue, if you are in a desperate place, I STRONGLY advise you to begin knocking on that door! He is FAITHFUL!! Should you seek with all your heart, you will find. If you only knock in an attempt to gain something, your knock is not from the purity of your heart but rather from a stance that derives from the desires of this world and God knows your heart, he cannot be deceived. However, when you arrive on your knees, truly longing for peace joy and love, that door will swing open and you will be welcomed home. I am praying for you.

Father, today I pray for all who are in a desperate place. May they find themselves on their knees. For only when we get on our knees do we find you. What a treasure you are Lord. You are everything. How long we search aimlessly filling our empty lives with false treasures. They bring no lasting pleasure. They are empty, dark, void. They are traps set by the evil one. May eyes begin to open and see these illusions for exactly what they are. May my fellow brothers and sisters who are still asleep begin to awaken. May we be shaken to our very core. May the body of Christ come alive and begin to work smoothly together. Let it start with me Father. I am you loving daughter, your humble servant. I am so excited to begin my journey going where you lead, allowing your spirit to work through me. Help me stay out of the way Father, in Jesus name I pray! Amen.

Wendy, walks with God,

Mom of Many

© Wendy Glidden 2013