Sharing a Bend in the Road . . . or Gossip? You Decide

This morning like always I began my day first with reading the encouraging word courtesy of K-Love and then I checked my blog stats and lastly I opened up facebook to see if I had any messages. This is the only message I was greeted with:

Hi Wendy I was quite saddened to read a posting of yours that contained derogatory comments of your spouse. If a husband cannot trust his wife to defend him then what does that say ? The bible gives warning of the destructive power of gossip in several places . Here is one such admonition from Proverbs 18:8 The words of a talebearer are as wounds, and they go down to the innermost parts of the belly." Also Proverbs 17:9 "He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter seperateth closest of friends."Proverbs 17:9. I pray the word of the Lord will speak to you itself. Believe we are living in the days of sifting and where God is separating the true from the counterfeit and one has to show genuineness that they bear the nature of Christ and without mixture. No longer place for lukewarmness , it is either serve God entirely or not at all . As far as friendship here on facebook is concerned our likes seem to be at opposite ends of the spectrum. No ill feelings just must stay true to my convictions or they mean nothing.Shalom.

I have written this person back but have yet to hear back from them. It was a man that wrote this to me. I took the time to make sure I had the word 'derogatory' itself correct in my mind and according to the dictionary, it states that the meaning is: "expressing a low opinion of someone or something : showing a lack of respect for someone or something".

In my heart I do not feel I have committed this crime. As I re-read several of my posts, I see honesty regarding my situation and the truth that often I fall short of the glory of God. I openly admit that I have much progress to make to reveal Jesus Christ to Mike.

It is my belief that in my being open and honest in regards to my life that I am helping others. We are the church. If we hide all of our troubles behind closed doors, pretending all is well, then we are by all rights harming ourselves and in a way blocking any healing we are meant to receive or deliver. I think that is the biggest problem within our churches today. We sit in our pews listening and pretending that we are living perfect lives when the reality is we all face trials and tribulations. I know the full scope of what goes on behind my closed doors so when I read my own words, I truly feel I am being kind and am not gossiping. If I were to tell everything that goes on word for word, verbatim, and trashed Mike that would be one thing. That is not what I do. In a way, by admitting that he falls short due to his lack of faith and knowledge of God is in a way defending him. By openly admitting that he has no relationship with the LORD reveals the truth that he walks in darkness and does not see the truth in himself. 

I pray for Mike daily. When I talk to him, I often come to the table and share scripture. I don't hide what I blog. I ask him about his thoughts. It is in our discussions that I have come to know several things about the Word of God:

Not everyone gets it. They read without understanding if they read Scripture at all. When they do read and listen, they can twist Scripture in ways that reveal how evil the evil one truly is. It can make your Spirit feel as if it's heart were punched out at times. That is the depths of how sad witnessing such deception can be. It is not completely their fault. The devil can blind and deafen a person, cause them to see what is not there and believe what is not true. Their own Free Will often becomes their worst enemy, for God will not force you to succumb to Him.

(2 Corinthians 3:14, NASB) But their minds were hardened; for until this very day at the reading of the old covenant the same veil remains unlifted, because it is removed in Christ. [15] But to this day whenever Moses is read, a veil lies over their heart; [16] but whenever a person turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. [17] Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. [18] But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit. 

(Isaiah 44:18, NASB) They do not know, nor do they understand, for He has smeared over their eyes so that they cannot see and their hearts so that they cannot comprehend.

Because of FREE WILL, one has to desire truth to see and hear it. We can only pray that they begin to desire. I often pray this prayer for Mike, "Lord if he so much as turns to you in flash of curiosity, please reveal yourself in such a way that he cannot deny you are His LORD and Savior. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

I promise you, I have often wished I could take all that is in my heart where the LORD is concerned and transfer it directly into Mike. He would literally be a different person were he to become a believer. I know this because I became a different person. I often say, "You would not like to know me and my thoughts without Christ's input!" 

That is a major reason I also pray for myself! I know that I am a work in progress. I know that since Mike is not a believer the evil one is able to use him as a weapon against me. It is through my sharing my life that often I find myself strengthened through my own testimony for the LORD often takes me to places in the Bible that help heal my soul. 

It is true that often I too fall to the flesh and react instead of turning the other cheek. Those moments do not make me proud, but as I have mentioned before I truly am 'just a girl' walking through life like the rest of you. I am far from perfect. I do my best to wear my armor and to keep my focus on the truth. Being pregnant does not help when it comes to keeping my emotions in check and it is in confessing my own shortcomings that I am able to reset myself as well as forgive myself. 

I refuse to pretend that my life is perfect for I believe in truth. I believe in my heart I have not made derogatory comments when it comes to Mike. I have shared truths from our relationship and truly am curious as to how I am to defend him outside of pointing out the truth that he does not read God's Word, follow Christ, much less believe in Him, and since he does not, how on earth am I to judge him as if he did? It is not my place. I can only pray for him. I can only ask for prayers for him.

I am fully convinced that I am not the only woman who has found herself unequally yoked. I know the battles that are waged when the scale is out of whack. It can be ugly. God takes our ugly and turns it into something pretty. How can He do that if we are all unwilling to share the ugly in our lives? 

When God first called me forth to share my life in written form, I truly was taken aback and downright scared. I had BIG secrets that I didn't want the world to know. After all, 'What would they think of me?' In all honesty, I could not stop myself from obeying the call. Like I literally could not ignore it. The fear of not stepping forward outweighed the fear of what anyone might think of me. Hence, I cared more about how God felt than how I felt. The same remains true today. 

A really good friend of mine told me recently, "God is not calling you to a ministry of normal so what you do is going to look different." 

I have to agree with her assessment. My story is not the norm, but there are chapters that resonate with many. I know in my heart God is using me to reach others caught, who don't have the relationship that I do. How can they get my faith, if they don't understand that I am in their very shoes? There are parts of my personal story that I don't put out there. The LORD has not pulled at me to go into all the tiny details. Since He does not lead me to, I don't. 

It is truly my desire to reveal the glory of God working in my crazy, broken life. It is my prayer that this is what my readers see. I cringe to think I may be viewed as a mere gossip.

If I have offended anyone by the things I share from my life, I apologize. I would suggest that my blog is not for you. I write as I am led by God. It is not the most comfortable thing in the world to reveal my own shortcomings to the entire world. I guess if it was, that would make what I do easy. Sharing my heartache, my shortcomings, my trials and tribulations is often a bit scary, but it is what God called me forth to do. 

Seeing how it is Super Silly Sing Song Saturday and the topic of this blog seems to be on the openness of being 'broken' this is the song I am sharing today:

Broken Together by Casting Crowns:

What do you think about when you look at me

I know we're not the fairy tale you dreamed we'd be

You wore the veil, you walked the aisle, you took my hand

And we dove into a mystery

How I wish we could go back to simpler times

Before all our scars and all our secrets were in the light

Now on this hallowed ground, we've drawn the battle lines

Will we make it through the night?

It's going to take much more than promises this time

Only God can change our minds

Maybe you and I were never meant to be complete

Could we just be broken together

If you can bring your shattered dreams and I'll bring mine

Could healing still be spoken and save us

The only way we'll last forever is broken together

How it must have been so lonely by my side

We were building kingdoms and chasing dreams and left love behind

I'm praying God will help our broken hearts align

And we won't give up the fight

It's going to take much more than promises this time

Only God can change our minds

Maybe you and I were never meant to be complete

Could we just be broken together

If you can bring your shattered dreams and I'll bring mine

Could healing still be spoken and save us

The only way we'll last forever is broken together

Maybe you and I were never meant to be complete

Could we just be broken together

If you can bring your shattered dreams and I'll bring mine

Could healing still be spoken and save us

The only way we'll last forever is broken together

Songwriters

HALL, JOHN MARK / HERMS, BERNIE

Published by

Lyrics © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group

Read more: Casting Crowns - Broken Together Lyrics | MetroLyrics 

Here is a link to the YouTube video for those that would like to hear it:

If you are someone who has enjoyed this post, I invite you to read my book. It is my prayer that this collection of 36 True Life Stories compiled into one complete book will help all who read it. I know God intends to bless many through my story for that is the purpose of Him calling me to write it! 

Purchase your copy of "You Are Worthy Too: The Proof is in the Pudding" today!

Father, I come before you today asking for more grace. Let my words be words of healing and not viewed as words of gossip Please help my book become a vehicle that helps others, encouraging them to seek You and giving them hope should they need that. Father as always, I ask that you unblind the blind and open the ears of the deaf. Alot each person with more understanding. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

Wendy, walks with God, mom of many.

My Dad (AKA God) is My Hero!

Today is fantastically fun filled friends and family Friday! I was relieved to discover the internet at the RV park was back up and working and I was able to read K-Love's encouraging word of the day this morning.

Honestly I almost grumbled when I saw what it was. The reason for that would be the topic of the word itself and the fact that God has been drumming this message home to me for the last three days and it is a message I need, for I am struggling with it where Mike is concerned. As I have mentioned before, I am truly just a girl! It is only in my seeking Christ that I am able to rise above my flesh more often than not.

As many of you know this year has been a brutal one for me where matters of the heart are concerned. Mike has not been 100% faithful, kind, or even polite to me for that matter. While he has not completely crossed the line where faithfulness is concerned, he has lusted after other women and as we that read God's word know, Jesus said that lusting in itself is the same as committing adultery.

In the last week, Mike has done a few kind acts and has been a little friendlier to me than he has for the last few months. I know he does not walk with God. I know he does not believe that Christ is God's only begotten son and therefore he is not saved. He does not seek God's word at all so how can I expect him to act as if he does? Ugh! I cannot. I can only show him the love of Christ by following the advice of the LORD. With that being said, here are the encouraging words I have been given over the course of the last three days.

Wednesday's: Matthew 5:7, NASB ~ "Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy."

Thursday's: Colossians 3:12, NASB ~ So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience;

Friday's: James 2:13, NASB ~ For judgment will be merciless to one who has shown no mercy; mercy triumphs over judgment.

I know God is Love and I know that Jesus came to save the lost. I know that while Mike should know better, he is simply not capable of quieting his flesh and listening to the Spirit. If he were a complete stranger, I would have an easier time putting on a heart of compassion where he is concerned.

Admittedly I often fall to my own flesh and am unable to walk in the Spirit completely when Mike is rude to me. In those moments I have to walk away and I tell him, I simply cannot listen to you right now for I don't trust myself. I have let him know that he is not healthy for me and that his insults infuriate me beyond all reason! How can I expect him to be curious about Jesus if I cannot show him what Christ does for me? It is all so infuriating at times!

Recently I was given some boy clothes and among them was a shirt that says, 'My dad is my Hero'.

When I put it on Jeffrey and read it to him, he cocked his head to the side just slightly and asked, "It's talking about God, right?"

I smiled and said, "Yes. Yes it is."

He grinned from ear to ear and boldly proclaimed that God was his hero and continued to brag about how much God loved him.

I love that he knows that truth. I truly believe the best thing we can do for our children is help them have a strong relationship with the LORD. It truly is what will pull them through the heartaches, trials and tribulations in life.

I don't know where I would be in life right now if I did not have the faith I do in the LORD. I know my mouth would be getting me in tons of trouble if I was not focused on His Word! Anger has never produced much good in my life. Those of you who have read my story know that I point out just what anger has done for me in my past.

This last week, I have been sharing snippets out of my story in hopes of finally achieving my life long dreams of being an author whose books truly help others out. With that being said, here is today's teaser designed to get you to purchase my book: 'You Are Worthy Too: The Proof is in the Pudding'

Chapter Eight

Too Angry to Process the Assault with Love

I warn you to guard yourself from allowing anger to be the leading emotion in your life. First it blinds you, then, it allows you to become self-righteous. There is a time for anger but it is short lived and rarely sweet. Please, if you get nothing else out of this story of mine, get that.

Anger is one of many footholds the evil one needs to have entrance into your heart. You do not want him even getting close to that! So, when you feel anger coming on, I urge you to get down on your knees and give that to God. That looks different than "Giving it to God."

Let me see if I can somehow elaborate on this through my story. Let's begin with this:

Footnotes and Fill-ins from my previous chapter: Grounded for losing my virginity

1. Yes I was grounded for something I did not do, BUT I did misbehave.

2. My punishment did not fit the crime, BUT I brought the trouble on        myself by disobeying, lying and breaking rules I knew were not meant      to be broken.

3. I was angry at God for allowing such an awful thing to happen to me.

4. As a child and here in my telling, I did not give sufficient praise      for the amazing story Mrs. Compton shared.

# 4 deserves more details. It was while I was losing my mind due to being questioned if I was making this entire assault up by Chris, remember, I couldn't talk, “Guy, guy, guy, gun, gun, gun, me, me, me”, was literally all I could say. I could not say anything else. I could barely form those words; anyway, that is when Mrs. and Mr. Compton came to the door. Mrs. Compton was very worried about me. I could hear it in her voice. She asked Chris if I'd told her what happened. I can't remember what Chris said. The numbness was taking over. I heard her tell Chris she was so mad at herself for not insisting louder that they turn around. When they had pulled in their driveway, she shared the fact that she just couldn't get out. She insisted they go back and make sure I was okay. God told her she must. She had obeyed.

Now I am so thankful that God was watching out for me because that whole thing could have been so much worse. I may not have made it out alive. As it was, I was barely touched. Some women have stories that will leave you in absolute tears over their pain.

When they raced off, I didn't realize it was to get this man. He lost them on a high speed chase on the back roads she informed my step mother. He didn't have a license plate on the car so there was nothing more than a description of the car and my description of the man for the police to go on. I couldn't tell the police anything more than he was old and naked and his hand not holding the gun had a flaw. I didn't tell any of them he'd punched me with the gun. They might want to look at me and there was no way I could bare that.

That is it for this little teaser. I truly believe in my heart that my 36 true life testimonies that God called me forth to share in one complete book will help others with their own life struggles. I have walked in so many shoes that I am certain we have shared a pair or two! I know there are also people out there that you may be friends with who need a dose of hope and that is exactly who my book is written for.

It is my belief that my book will bless all who read it. Please consider purchasing a copy for yourself and then pass it on to a friend! Simply click here to be taken to my personal store where you can purchase your copy today for a mere $13.00. I am certain it will be a wise investment!

Father, I come to you today thankful that I am no longer controlled by anger and resentment. I know neither are healthy for my mind or my heart. Thank you for reminding me daily who you are. Thank you for gently nudging me to reach for the stars and be a shining example of how much you love others even when they are the least deserving. For that and so much more, You are my hero! We all have a story. Mine is not full of the prettiest chapters, but I love what you have done with it! Thank you for never giving up on me. Please help me be more focused on Your Word and less focused on the insults that are launched at me from this world! And please Father, bless my book, increase my sales, enlarge my territory, grant me my childhood dreams of helping others trapped in the bondage of deception. In Jesus' name I pray! Amen.

Wendy, walks with God, Mom of Many

© Wendy Glidden 2015

Your Coffers Are Full!

Yesterday I happened to have the rare opportunity to be by myself. Mike, who I guess is feeling a little guilty over the way he has treated me this year, surprised me with the offer of alone time.

I was going to go to Walmart and pick up some deli meat and cheese for lunch the next day and for some reason felt the pull to go to Safeway instead. With no children in tow I decided, 'Why not' and listened to that inner voice wondering what blessing lie ahead. It is not often that I have a moment at the end of the day to 'be still and know that He is God'. (From Psalm 46)

As I walked through the store, I was not thrilled with the prices I was facing but decided to grab a couple of items regardless. When I finally got around to the deli section, I discovered that the least expensive roast beef was listed at an alarming $12 a pound. I quickly turned my cart around and began placing the few items I had grabbed along my way back where I had found them. "Walmart it is." I mumbled to myself.

As I walked to my car, McDonalds seemed to draw my attention and I thought, 'A cup of coffee would be so nice. I wonder if I have enough change to purchase a cup.'

Instantly I heard verbatim, "Wendy, your coffers are full."

I thought, "What on earth? My coffers are full?" The only time I have ever seen that word was when I was in the midst of studying the Old Testament in college.

I shook my head in bewilderment and opened my little bag. To my amazement there were actual dollar bills in my purse. I could not believe my eyes at first and I actually closed my bag back up. I opened it again, smiled and thanked God. I believe that God, in telling me my coffers were full when I thought that I didn't even have enough pennies at the bottom of my bag for a cup of coffee is a sign that my financial worries are unnecessary. I truly believe that He is going to move hearts and minds of many to purchase my book. I have been praying that it would be the vehicle to inspire hope in countless others and help them renew or discover their relationship with the LORD.

Recently I began sharing short excerpts as teasers to try to increase my sales. Seeing how I am clearly hearing God's voice again, I thought it would be fun to share a time from my past when in the midst of a most desperate prayer, God spoke my name:

Taken From The Chapter Subtitled: On My Knees

That evening after work, I was in the bathroom again praying. This time I was actually on my knees. I was crying and praying. It had dawned on me that my first test was likely positive. You see, I had taken the time to actually read the directions that came with the pregnancy test. It turned out that for the test to be positive, the two pink lines did not need to be next to each other. There just needed to be two of them; one in the control window and one on the result side.

As I knelt on the floor believing that God may answer me and perhaps change the results of my test, I began by informing God about the fact that I wasn't strong enough to add another child to my day let alone go through another pregnancy. I told Him I would live with my fate but reminded Him that He could, if it was within His will, take this baby and gift someone else. I told Him I would appreciate that. I admitted that I had already tried the other two options when it came to one being pregnant and I admitted I could not live with those choices ever again. In the midst of my pleading prayer I was shaken by His voice.

“Wendy! This baby is a Blessing! This is how you will put down your cigarettes. Get up off your knees. Your hands will be so busy you will never miss them.”

His voice was so prominent and so matter of fact. I was given such an in-depth answer that at once I did get up off my knees and I stopped crying instantly. I was filled with such a peace and awe that mere words cannot give it justice. At a desperate moment in my life, I was on the cusp of joy. You can only find that kind of feeling next to God.

I grabbed the package and took the second test out and opened it. I already knew I was pregnant. God had told me the child inside of me was a blessing. I only took the second test because I needed proof to show Mike. When I came back into the bathroom, I was greeted with two pink lines again.

When Mike came home, he went straight to our room first without even saying hello. I caught him in the doorway as he was exiting back out. I had the test in my hand and as I showed it to him I said, “I’m pregnant.”

He looked at me completely dead panned and said, “We are not keeping it.”

I replied, “I don’t know who ‘we’ is but as far as I’m concerned there is no choice.” I spun and left him there. We did not talk about it or anything else that night.

It is my hope that this little excerpt has caused you to want to read my story from beginning to end. If that is the case, help fill my coffers as you also help yourself increase your faith and hopefully be blessed in ways that God has planned for you. Simply click here to purchase 'You Are Worthy Too: The Proof is in the Pudding' today for a mere $13.This mom of many thanks you tremendously for your support. Inside my book are many prayers that I am convinced as you say them outloud, together we will be blessed and bless many others as well!

Father, I come joyfully before you today in awe that you speak to me directly. How thankful I am to have been sent back to college by you, for it was in my schooling that I read about coffers in the first place. It is in reading Your Word that I am helped in knowing when you are giving me a message. Only you speak the way you do! How blessed I am. How thankful I am. Again I ask that hearts be moved to seek the message within my story that is for them. Thank you for giving me the desires of my heart. I love you LORD. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Wendy, walks with God, Mom of Many

© Wendy Glidden 2015

A Snippet From Both the Past and Present!

I can't believe it is already Tuesday! Yesterday I had intended to blog but as often happens if I don't do it first thing, my day is gone. That is one of the main reasons I am so adament about spending a moment with God first thing each morning before I put my feet on the ground.

The day comes at me so fast, it often speeds by like a whirl wind! I did accomplish a lot yesterday. I picked my doctor for this pregnancy. I found a midwife! I am excited about that. I received a call from the clinic letting me know that the professional person had taken a look at my ultrasound and by all appearances I am indeed on the path to having a healthy pregnancy! That was the best news of my day!

Another cool part of my day was running into a complete stranger at the Wal-mart. We crossed paths in the aisle and she asked me a question about boy patches. Before I knew it we were talking. She had lost a daughter at the young age of 14 due to an accident so we discussed how blessed I was to conceive at the young old age of 46. We discussed husbands and marriage and the troubles that often take place. She confided that at one point she wanted to take him out for the troubles he had brought their family and yet here they were about to celebrate 36 years of marriage! We discovered that my children attend the school her children did years ago and she pointed me in a direction to get their uniforms in the back of a consignment store run by a friend of hers. We hugged as we parted ways and I just knew God had put her in my path for many reasons.

As the children and I walked away, Michael commented that he thought it was weird how I made friends so quickly wherever we go. I laughed and informed him that often God arranged meetings with fellow sisters and brothers in Christ because they had something to bless us with. She had many blessings for me. I truly almost skipped through the store after our meeting!

Over the weekend I treated myself to the first non-school book in over a year. If you are into reading romance novels but are tired of the traditional ones, I encourage you to check out Francis Rivers. She is a Christian writer and the book of hers I read was 'Redeeming Love'. It bit my rear to read all this man of God went through during the course of his marriage. I laughed and cried and it was good for my soul.

Over the weekend I stayed away from the house just incase Mike happened to be around. It is hard to look at him. It has been hard to be around him. Those of you that have read my recent blogs understand what I am talking about. Anyway, when the children and I arrived back home Sunday after a day at the pool, I walked into the house to discover I had a kitchen sink again. Along with the sink, I received an apology from Mike. Anyone who has read my blogs or my books know that is something Mike does not do. He didn't expect anything from me in return and honestly I did not give him even a word of thanks in all honesty. I did make some comment about how it would be nice not to do dishes on my knees in the shower any longer and I went to bed closing the door behind me. That night I finished my book around midnight feeling a little guilty about my shortcomings compared to this man of God I had read about.

Today this was my encouraging word courtesy of K-Love:

No, O people, the Lord has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God. (Micah 6:8, NLT)

I do know what is right and I do love the LORD's mercy, especially when it comes to myself (laughing). The LORD knows, and so do my readers, I have made bad choices in my life. I have hurt others unnecessarily and I am far from perfect. I don't know what is up with Mike. I almost believe he has found that book 'The Love Dare'. We watched the movie 'Fireproof' a few years ago and it is just weird how he seems to have pulled some switch. I would be a liar if I said that my guard wasn't up and that I don't trust him, because it is and I don't. I do however intend to pray a lot and keep my focus on the LORD. I am trying my best to be still and Know that He is God. I am also deeply grateful that all insults and cruelty have seemed to suddenly cease. I don't know the whys of it all and honestly I don't need to. I will take the cease fire for what it is. 

The best thing in my life is that I understand that God Loves me immensely. At one point in my life, I truly believed He was out to get me. As you know I am pushing for book sales this month as I want to be able to stand independently on my own financially. With that being said, follow me back to a time when my relationship with the LORD was not the greatest. This is an excerpt from my book 'You are Worthy Too: The Proof is in the Pudding':

Chapter 7

I'm learning to be the Light!

I used to shrink inside when people would say something about me being a Saint due to all the children I have had. I truly believed that if they knew the truth about my past, they would never call me by such a name. I felt like such a fraud. In my mind, I was nowhere close to the description of a Saint.

I am my biggest critic. Over the years, I have given the evil one plenty of ammunition to fire against me. There is nothing like helping the destroyer of lives destroy you!

Now, when I find myself shrinking from something or having a moment of fear I swell with confidence. I say, "Oh, Satan, man you are good. You had me for a millisecond. Then I saw my fear for what it was. It is you filling me with fear because you are afraid of others seeing my light!"

If I’m where it’s an option, I turn on some Christian music, or take out a devotional or even search the internet for inspirational bible quotes. Adding a coat of armor is never a bad thing!

I heard a tune today on my way to work that led me to know that today is the day I share one of my darkest moments. The song was talking about how we don't fall in an instant. How what used to be black and white slowly becomes gray. Instantly I was flashing on my past. I didn't change overnight. It was with each bad choice I made that I seemed to drift farther and farther away from who I was.

Over the course of time, as I went deeper and deeper down the road to hell, I convinced myself I could never return to the narrow path. I figured I had done way too much bad to ever be viewed as ‘good enough’ again. I truly believed I was an epic failure.

With that being said, let's get these dark ages of mine down on paper.

Prior to my divorce being approved by the judge, but well after it had been filed, Jimmy and I began seeing each other again. He was working at UPS and going to college, so his time for me was short and usually at crazy hours.

We had been seeing each other for about three months when I called over to his house. His father answered and was kind enough to inform me that Jimmy was on a date with his fiancée. My world reeled.

It is my prayer that the above teaser will prompt you to purchase my book and read my story in its entirety. I know there are countless blessings in between the pages for many in this world. It is my personal prayer that you are blessed by my story that God called me forth to share. Click here to purchase your copy today!

Father, only you know what tomorrow will bring. Today I chose to focus on Your Word and Your promises. I know you are faithful. I am so thankful for the blessings you have provided me with and I am excited for the honor of feeling life flow through my body as this baby you placed in my womb continues to grow. You fill me with awe and wonder much like a child is filled with the things we grown ups take for granted. It is my prayer that my childhood dreams of becoming an author that inspires others with hope transpires into my reality. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Wendy, Mom of Many, Walks with God.

© Wendy Glidden 2015

I Can Say, "It is Well"

This morning is Super Silly Sing Song Saturday. While upon first waking, my heart recalled all the worldly pain that has been launched at it recently and I knew I must get dressed for my day. I pulled up my email and noticed I had a google notification. Someone had liked a post I had made months ago. All it said was this, "Here is the song that caused me to have tears flowing down my face this morning." I had posted this last year, May 2, 2014. The song is by Chris Tomlin, "I Will Rise"

Sure enough as I listened to it, I began crying again. These are not tears of sadness but tears of truth. I truly can say, "It is well." today even through the midst of my most recent storm.

I however cannot help but crying through my pain that seems to come in waves as I reflect upon my life and all the previous times I have become pregnant. I did find myself laughing today as I thought about the truth that I have always wanted to experience a joyful pregnancy. You know the kind where everyone dotes on you and treats you like you are special. Instead, I have been with men that have honestly not been that nice through any of it.

I have decided this pregnancy is going to be the one I have always longed for. I am not going to allow stress and worry or anything like that ruin this incredible miracle for me. Instead, I am going to focus on the promises of God and I am going to believe in His promises of provision and protection.

Long ago, He and I talked about me becoming a writer. All my life it has been my dream. In the last few years I have written 3 books all containing true stories from my life. They certainly have not been pretty, but in the midst, you will recognize the glory of God at work. I have been praying these books would take off but to date they have not. At the beginning of this year, God prompted me to put all three books into one. Just as I finished that task, life came at me full force again and I truly didn't do much with marketing. My most recent life circumstance has prompted me to change that.

I truly believe that this 3 part series in one that God prompted me to publish is going to be the book He uses to provide for me. I find it ironic that this morning the first thing my eyes focused on was Mike's wedding band hanging above my cross on my Great Banquet necklace.

Seeing it there caused me to back flash to 30 years ago. It was the first time I found myself pregnant. I was only 16! Here is a snippet from that chapter in my life:

By Christmas I knew I was pregnant. I could not believe it. Here I'd tried to push that destiny for two straight months and nothing. Yet, when I ran away, I ended up conceiving. I decided life was ironic. I hadn't said anything about being pregnant yet. Chris informed me I was being taken to her doctor to be put on birth control. Still I said nothing. When she took me there I was taken back and her doctor began telling me about birth control options. I looked up at him and said, "Shouldn't you perform a pregnancy test before you prescribe me birth control?"

He stared at me and asked if I thought I needed one. I shook my head yes. 

Sure enough the test was positive and I was taken into another room. He began informing me that it would be in this baby's best interest not to be born. I was shocked. I hit him with two barrels of "How is this upholding the view of 'Saving Lives' and your Hippocratic oath?"

We argued for a moment about the beginning of life and he finally asked me, "Do you want me to give her the news or will you do it?"

I informed him with an hour ride ahead of me I'd prefer to spill the beans myself.

He told me to get dressed and he'd meet me out in the hall. When I left the room he was standing with Chris and they both turned to look at me. I knew in an instant he had already spilled the beans; So much for doctor patient confidentiality.

A family meeting was called and my fate had been sealed. I would marry Jeff. I felt like I'd been thrown into the dark ages.

That particular chapter is actually subtitled, "A Shotgun Wedding". Upon reading in full that title will make perfect sense. So, here I am 30 years later, pregnant once again only this time instead of the father of my baby insisting I marry him against my will, I am with a man who no longer wants to have any part of me. Life is strange to say the least!

I have no idea what lies ahead, but I am certain that God will be right there with me through it all. That was not a belief I had at 16. You will see how that came to be when you purchase my book that God called me forth to publish. With your purchase you will be happy to know that you are supporting a single mom of many and in return, I know that you will be blessed between the pages you read. My life has many twists and turns and the final book is full of faith increasing testimonial stories that will leave you seeking to know God on a greater level. I am blessed to have seen and heard angels in my lifetime and those stories are in this book as well.

Today I come before you boldly asking you to take a leap of faith and drop $13 on a book that will improve your relationship with God no matter where your relationship stands today. Simply click here to be taken directly to the page where you can purchase "You Are Worthy Too: The Proof is in the Pudding". I thank you immensely for your financial support. May you be blessed immensely in return.

Father, I come before you this morning thanking you for being so bold in my life. I don't know where I would be today without your comforting words. I believe in your promises and I know you have me covered in all ways. I thank you for my talents and I thank you for increasing my faith over the years. Please bless my book and increase my sales. Explode my world and reveal Your glory. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Wendy, mom of many, walks with God

© Wendy Glidden 2015

That Was Then This is Now!

Today, my encouraging word was delivered from the book of Romans:

Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory He will reveal to us later. (Romans 8:18, NLT, courtesy of K-Love's encouraging word)

Wow. was all I could think for a moment. Today, my emotional heart is still fragile. How I long to be beyond this pain yet we all know that we don't just fly out of heartache. There is always a healing process. For now I am concentrating on being healthy so that I am healthy in all ways when my blessing from above arrives.

I am thankful that I know that those words of encouragement hold so much truth in them. How many moments in my past would I place under the listing of 'suffering'. Truthfully a lot of them. For instance, I have once again found myself in the shoes of single and pregnant. The first time this happened I was in my 20's and engaged only to find myself pregnant and alone. I ended up giving that baby up for adoption. All of this story is in my book: Here is a tiny excerpt from that chapter in 'You are Worthy Too: The Proof is in the Pudding'

Bruce was supposed to be arranging us housing close to his campus. He only called me a couple times to update me on the progress and to see how the baby and I were getting along before I received the next to last phone call I ever received from Bruce. 

Before I had a chance to even ask how he was doing, he said, "Wendy, I need to say this without interruption so just listen. I love you. I will always love you. This is too much. I'm not ready. My mom has moved and she changed her number, the college has moved me to a new dorm and they have been informed that you are not to have my new information. Don't bother my friends they know not to tell you anything. Good Luck." and he hung up on me.

I was frozen. I think I dropped the phone. Instantly my Aunt knew something was wrong. Through my tears, I shared what Bruce had said.

As that chapter of my life unfolds into the next, you begin to see what life is like when you don't lean on God. I am so thankful that this round I know who I am in Christ. While I am just as shattered to discover that once again I am not loved enough by the man I am with, I also understand that I am loved mightily by my Father in Heaven. I certainly don't understand what His complete plan is for my life, I am trusting in Him this round. 

I know He did not call me forth to share my life in a book just to have it sit in the publishing house. He is my provider. In my sharing my story, He has provided me a way to support my family. All I need is for the word to get out. I believe the time is right for that and it is my prayer that all who are reading my blog today are moved to learn more about what God called me forth to share. In my book you will discover much about me and my walk. I have not always been faithful to God, but He has always been faithful to me. Should you decide to purchase my story today for a mere $13.00, you will be blessing me and in return, I know there are countless blessings for you and others you may share my book with. 

I feel like I'm standing on the side of the road with a sign up saying 'Anything Helps' which is so ironic because I just wrote a blog around that thought recently, but sincerely, anything does help. I don't want a hand out. I want to make it on the talents that God blessed me with. Please consider helping me with that goal by purchasing my book, 'You Are Worthy Too: The Proof is in the Pudding'

In hopes of garnering your attention enough to do that, here is another excerpt from the following chapter:

As often happens when I deliver, things are not in order and it gets pretty crazy. In no time flat I gave birth. The doctor held up my baby and announced, "We have a girl." She weighed in at 9lbs 6oz.

I was taken clear on the other side of the hospital because I had requested not to be in the maternity ward. Lena came with me. When my nurse came to check on me, I asked if it was okay if I walked around.

She said, “If you feel up to it but be careful.”

I said I would. When she left, I looked at Lena and said, "I can't stand it. You want to go see her?"

She said, “Yes!”

We walked out of my room, smiled at the girls at the desk, and went around the corner right into the elevator. We went down and then across to the maternity ward through a tunnel.

The nurse in the nursery was just getting ready to feed her and she asked if I would like to give my baby her bottle. I could not stop myself. I had to hold her. I fed her, I admired her, and I sang to her. I inhaled her newborn sent.

Every fiber of my being wanted to keep her in my arms. Right then I looked up and my personal nurse was looking at me through the glass. She motioned for me to come out. She greeted me with a wheel chair and said, "Child when I said you could walk around, I did not mean for you to take a mile hike. You could bleed to death you know. We need to check your vitals.

** I promise my story has a message of hope for the hopeless, a laugh for those in need of laughter and most likely a tear or two for those in need of that. I have come to learn that crying has healing properties just like laughter does. Please help this mom of many by purchasing my book. In doing so, you will help  not only yourself, for we all have walked similar paths in life, but you just may bless those you purchase my book for as there are countless blessings in my book for those who read it.

Click Here to purchase "You Are Worthy Too: The Proof is in the Pudding" today. 

Father, today I thank you for the faith I have. It is hard to believe I am in somewhat the same shoes I wore 20 years ago. I am so grateful to understand how much you love me today for I did not know that back then. I thank you for opening the door for me when I knocked, what a journey it has been. While I have had moments of suffering, I have also had those moments where I witnessed what you did with that and I thank you for holding true to all your promises. I pray that the next phase in my life brings me to the things we talked about when I was so much younger. Have I really been having babies for 30 years now!?! You weren't kidding when you said I would be a mother to many. I thank you for my many blessings and ask that through my story countless others are blessed. May I be one of the vehicles you use to reach the lost. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Wendy, Mom of Many, walks with God.

© Wendy Glidden, 2015

My Diamond in the Rough

Yesterday I went to a clinic to confirm what I already knew. I'm pregnant at 46. On top of taking another pregnancy test, an ultrasound was performed to ensure all was well. The heartbeat was found, a picture of my 'diamond in the rough' was taken:

According to the measurements taken, my blessing will arrive toward the end of March.

I've looked at this crazy picture more times than I can count. The reality is beginning to sink in. I really am pregnant again. Last year at this time, as some of you know, I miscarried around 6 weeks. Today I am only 6 weeks and 4 days but I know this baby has a heart beat and appears to be developing as it should be. While I certainly don't understand what God has in store for me, I am comforted by His promises, especially ones like this:

Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares for you. (1 Peter 5:7, NLT, courtesy of K-love)

The one thing I have going for me is that God does care for me. I know He is my real provider. Mike had originally promised to give me $200 a week in child support. Today is the second day he has called in sick because he is trying to find a way to make a side income. I tried explaining that he should go to work and get his paycheck and do side work on the side, not during working hours. Anything I say to him only makes him angry and he has begun making repetitive comments about how stupid I am.

I originally thought that I would try to stay here in the RV and survive. Now I know I cannot stay where he can easily swing by. He has become my tormentor. I told him it is not easy to be around him as he searches for other women in front of me. He is not only looking for Heather, it has now been brought to my attention that he is registering on multiple dating websites in search for another partner or at least someone to hang out with.

Today he informed me that I am taking all of this too personally! What can I say, I'm dumbfounded by him. I have to believe that he has drifted so far from God that his view is what is messed up; not me.

Personally I am a little messed up. It is difficult to come to terms that the person you have spent the last twelve years of your life was never truly in love with you! It is crazy for me to listen to him talk about how he is going to strike it big in the next couple of months and then move to either Alaska or Hawaii. I don't know how he can have a baby on the way and not even be interested in that one tiny bit. All of these "Why's?" will not be answered for me and it is not healthy for me to ponder them either. Those questions keep me trapped in emotional turmoil that is not only unhealthy for me, it is also unhealthy for the baby inside me.

I did a little math today and discovered that if I were to sell 1000 books this month, I would be able to move back home and pay for a place to live. If I continued selling books, God would provide for me by allowing me to have the desires of my heart. So, if you are wondering what gift to buy a loved one this year, I would like to suggest my consolidated book "You Are Worthy Too: The Proof is in the Pudding"

With one simple purchase of only $13.00, not only will you gain a great gift that will bless someone, you will also be helping a single mother provide for her children! I know God has blessings in that book for just about everyone that reads it. I have walked in a lot of shoes. When I first began blogging, something close to this was my ad:

"I was called out to tell my story; from running away to dropping out of highschool, to being a teen mom, married and divorced, living through an abusive marriage, having an abortion and giving a child up for adoption, giving birth to 10 babies and so much more. I'm pretty sure I've lived in your shoes at some point! Please come seek the message God has for you!"

The link above is the YouTube video for 'Big Daddy Weave's' newest song "My Story". Here are the words as well:

"My Story"

If I told you my story

You would hear Hope that wouldn't let go

And if I told you my story

You would hear Love that never gave up

And if I told you my story

You would hear Life, but it wasn't mine

If I should speak then let it be

Of the grace that is greater than all my sin

Of when justice was served and where mercy wins

Of the kindness of Jesus that draws me in

Oh to tell you my story is to tell of Him

If I told you my story

You would hear victory over the enemy

And if I told you my story

You would hear freedom that was won for me

And if I told you my story

You would hear Life overcome the grave

If I should speak then let it be

Of the grace that is greater than all my sin

Of when justice was served and where mercy wins

Of the kindness of Jesus that draws me in

Oh to tell you my story is to tell of Him

This is my story, this is my song

Praising my savior all the day long

This is my story, this is my song

Praising my savior all the day long

For the grace that is greater than all my sin

Of when justice was served and where mercy wins

Of the kindness of Jesus that draws me in

Oh to tell you my story is to tell

For the grace that is greater than all my sin

Of when justice was served and where mercy wins

Of the kindness of Jesus that draws me in

Oh to tell you my story is to tell of Him

Oh to tell you my story is to tell of Him

This is my story, this is my song

Praising my savior all the day long

It is my belief that this is exactly what you will find in my story. Please support me today by purchasing my book. Bless this mother of many as you bless those you purchase my story for. Thank you to all that find it in your heart to support this not well known author called forth by God! If you missed it above, this link takes your directly to my store where you can purchase 'You Are Worthy Too: The Proof is in the Pudding"

Father today I pray that my story that you called me forth to share truly does inspire those it was written for. May the talents you blessed me with provide for all the needs my family has. May my blessings be so abundant that I am able to bless countless others as well. Explode my territory LORD, give me the desires of my heart. You know since childhood I have wanted to be one who helps the lost find their way back home. Please Father, set me free from this prison that Mike is trying to keep me in and help me shine my light so brightly it can be seen across the globe! I love you and thank you for the depths of my faith. In Jesus name I pray. Amen!

Wendy, Mom of Many, walks with God

© Wendy Glidden 2015

Extra! Extra! Read All About It!

It is totally Terrific Testimonial Tell All Tuesday and what a Tell All Tuesday it is! I sit here looking at the screen wanting to both laugh and cry hysterically at the same time.

Those of you who have read my story know that I was approached by God as a pre-teen and told that I would be a mother to many. Today, I have the following announcements:

1. 1. Mike and I are 100% over. His heart belongs to someone else. A first love he never got over. He is searching for her on Facebook as of last night.
2. I'm pregnant.
   

This morning I am of course in the midst of a turbulent emotional storm within my heart. It is crazy the waves of emotions that are hitting me. It is almost too much to take. 

I know the only true thing I can armor my heart with is with Words from my father in heaven, so I grab my phone and pull up my email account in hopes that the crumb I find from K-Love's encouraging word will be the one I need. This is my substance this morning:

Don't let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. (John 14:1, NLT)

I wept with gratitude." Don't let my heart be troubled! TRUST in God, and trust also in me." I cannot begin to tell you how those words strengthen me. I KNOW my God. I KNOW He loves me. I KNOW babies are blessings. While I have not a clue of what on earth He is thinking in blessing me at this time in my life, upon reading the encouraging word of the day, I recalled the first verse I clung to:

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. (Proverbs 3:5, NLT)

I am so thankful that I can trust in the LORD today. In times past, I didn't even turn to the LORD while in crisis. I leaned on my own understandings; of course you know that if you read "You Are Worthy Too: The Proof is in the Pudding"

You can bet your bottom dollar that even fully armored today, I will laugh and I will cry. Twelve years is an interesting number and that is exactly how many years I have known Mike. I felt our relationship had come to its end on Sunday and I ended up going to the first Sunday service. 

I arrived late as I had originally planned my morning with the intention of going to the second service. It is my favorite as there is no rush for it to end at an exact time. It is my belief that this allows the Holy Spirit to work more freely. Anyway, after the singing part of Sunday worship ended, a man with a message was asked to come forward and share.This is mostly what he said:

"A relationship full of strife has come to a close today."

I sat in the pew truly believing that was a confirmation for me that Mike and I were indeed over. Full of strife described our relationship to a "T". The man went on to explain that the type of relationship was like Ruth and Naomi and he mentioned another relationship that I can't recall at the moment. I know the story of Ruth and Naomi so I questioned if the message was for me. He then went on to explain that is was more of a mentoring relationship that they were looking for, and I was like, "Oh. That kind of describes our relationship too." Next he mentioned that he believed that this was going to be a new person. That made me question if the message was intended for me again. You see, I am new to first service but not second and I just began going here this summer. He went on to mention that this message was intended for the prayer team so they would be on the lookout for this person. It was his belief that they would be in need of healing. With that I decided the message was for someone else. I reasoned that I would be elated if that message were for me and healing would be the last thing on my 'needs list'. 

Today as the realization that Mike has been in love with another girl for our entire relationship smacked me upside the head, the evil one began whispering awful lies to me and I was quickly sliding down a slippery slope of overwhelming heart break. Here I am pregnant with another child and this family is the last thing in the world that he wants. 

I've known it for a long time. I think anyone who reads my blogs may have thought the same thing a time or two. Some silly part of me thought, "One day. . . " Ugh!

Yes. I am sad and relieved. Worse, I am pregnant. I resent the hormones that make it that much harder for me to stay focused on the truth. God LOVES me. Christ also LOVES me. I am a redeemed child of God. I have a purpose. I need to set my mind on things above. Just what does my oh so humorous Father have in store for me next? Mom of Many indeed! 

I am going to need prayers for healing and strength and I ask for all who are intercessory prayer warriors to pray for me. I need prayers for provision as well. May my books flow off the shelves encouraging countless others to seek the LORD themselves. May the desires of my heart be fulfilled. May the LORD use me to the largest extremes. Expand my purpose. Fill my life with light. Allow my story to touch hearts across the globe. Let me be an expression of hope that brings knowledge of your glory into the darkest corners of the world. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Wendy, Mom of Many, walks with God.

© Wendy Glidden 2015

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