Who knew when I called into the physic line I would really have part my future foretold exactly how it would come to pass. I never really believed in that stuff, but I had three free minutes and life was in an absolute upheaval. I was currently married to a man I'd been with for the previous 4 years. Because of his side business, our lives were turned upside down in a matter of a morning.
I knew in my heart that he had been cheating on me for the last year or so. I simply had no proof. I have never been one to jump to conclusions. I was more of a "give them all the rope they need to hang themselves" kind of girl. So, in a desperate moment, with my 3 minute free physic reading card in hand, I dialed the number listed. The girl on the other end asked me a couple of basic questions. When was I born was one of them for sure. I honestly don't remember what else she asked me. I can vividly remember watching the clock. Next, she informed me she was going to use tarot cards. I think she had me tell her when to stop shuffling. After a moment she said, "I see that you are married. Shortly after Christmas that marriage will be completely over. Before the next month ends, you will fall in love and you will be pregnant with twin girls. You will travel a lot in the first two years and things will be extremely rough on you. If you make it beyond these two years remaining together you will be together". I slammed the phone down. My three minutes were up.
"TWINS!" I exclaimed out loud. Ha! I was not going to EVER get pregnant again. No way. My oldest two were teenagers now. I was a hop, skip and a jump away from finally being able to live my life for myself. The year was 1997. Rodney, my second husband, was currently on trial. His final court date was scheduled in March. He was looking at a lot of time but I had no grace where that was concerned. Had he listened to me, he would not have been in the situation he was in. I did take the time to locate the best lawyer for his case. I also took care of paying the lawyer. I battled his family regarding how they shunned him. I informed his mother that when you love someone you stand by their side through the mess not just the glory. I wanted to believe he had not betrayed me. Even more so when his lawyer said, "Tell me you kissed this girl. It only had to happen once and I can have this case thrown out.", and Rodney swore there was nothing ever between them. His lawyer did a great job and even though he could have been sentenced with a lot more, Rodney was placed on work release for 90 days and sentenced with probation for 1 year I believe. The probation may have been longer. I honestly do not know.
He was about 3 weeks into serving his 90 days when I informed him that I wanted a divorce. I had found and read the discovery report and I was positive he had indeed been cheating on me. He insisted we go to marriage counseling. He swore he had never cheated on me and we just needed to work out my feelings and emotions in a healthy way. I told him, albeit sarcastically, that since the issue seemed to be mine, I would begin therapy on my own and when he got out we could continue together. After a few sessions my therapist said, "You know Wendy, you have a really good intuition. My advice to you would be to listen to it quicker." I looked at her and she continued, "My philosophy is, "If it sounds like bull it usually is."
I took that line and went in to see Rodney at Goodwill in Noblesville where he was the store manager. I informed him that I knew he had slept with the girl he had denied sleeping with because his story sounded like bull. I said I don't want to hear anything else from you unless it's the truth. I am filing for a divorce tomorrow unless you confess everything. I turned leaving him in his office and headed back to mine. Rodney showed up at my office unexpectedly within an hour of me leaving him. He pulled me into another room, closed the door and confessed everything. I listened as I silently screamed in my head. I showed him not one ounce of Grace.This was the second time he had cheated on me. This cheating on me was made worse by the fact he had gone out of his way to beg me to be friends with this girl. That goes way beyond a little white lie. In my heart I knew it all along. My mind did not want to believe it. The best thing about Rodney and I WAS our friendship. I had no idea how I would ever recover so, I refinanced the house, paid him the $5000.00 he demanded to set me free as well as gave him every asset we had collected together, minus the house, for my freedom.
While going through counseling, I was asked why I gave up basketball. I found it an odd question but Sue had a way of getting you to slide back in time. It was the first time I had slid back to that fateful day. The ball echoed in my head so loudly. I explained to her what had happened moment by moment as if in a trance. When I finished, she asked me why at 14 did I tell the man "Look there's my daddy"? I shook my head and said, "No", I said, "Look, there's my father.". She reiterated, "No", you said, "Daddy." she then stated, "I think you were in a similar situation at a very young age and you reacted the same way you did the first time. Can you recall anything happening to you before say age 4?" I shook my head no, but was admittedly shaken by her analysis.
Seeing how I had no recollection of ever calling my father daddy, I went straight to him. I told him what Sue thought. He said he knew of nothing himself but thought I should live in the now and not ponder on things that may or may not have ever happened. You know how your mind works though. Mine did not stop attempting to recall. Needless to say, this led to a flashback. An actual flashback. I was in the room. It was a single flash but it was enough. I was driving around 465 when it happened and I came to with the pedal to the medal aiming at an overpass. I managed, by the grace of God, to get the car under control. I was freaked out beyond words. I drove straight to Sue's and told her what happened. She said I needed to go see my family doctor to get a prescription. She was afraid with my type of recall I might accidentally hurt myself and she needed help with controlling my issues while we worked on my past. She mentioned that she would contact my family doctor herself to fill her in on what was going on with me.
My family doctor immediately placed me on Prozac. This little magic pill created a very nice warm fuzzy feeling at first. Kind of like a "life is good I have no cares" kind of high. I liked it. Sue, however, did not. She was visibly upset when she found out I was taking Prozac. That was not what she had wanted me on. I didn't know why it mattered. I was beginning to see Sue as a possible threat to my puffy cloud.
I had been on a bowling team that year with Kelli, my assistant office manager at the time, and her Aunt. They had a summer two person league opening up and Kelli's Aunt wanted to join it. Another couple that Rodney and I hung out with were bowling in it and I thought it would be fun. I agreed to be her partner. Rodney was still in jail at this time. Cassy and Billy had a couple more weeks of school left before they headed off to their father's for the summer. I thought this would be a perfect way to fill my time. Kelli's Aunt ended up getting ill and could not participate. Terry, the bowling alley's manager, had promised to team me up with someone. That is how and when I met Mark. I was without a care in the world. He seemed nice enough. He fed quarters to Cassy. Honestly, I thought he was a little on the feminine side. When that is your instant opinion, it causes you to put down your guard. I thought he was likeable enough. Over the course of the next few weeks Mark and I got to know each other a little better. He sold me a barrel of lies and I, feeling sorry for him, confessed my story.
Without knowing more than where I worked, Mark showed up at my office the weekend after we had participated in moonlight bowling with my friends that Rodney and I used to hang out with. It surprised me that he took the time to find my office. That was the beginning of our relationship. With my guard down and floating on a cloud, I began to feel sorry for Mark and the life he was living. He portrayed the picture of both a good father and a betrayed husband, a hard worker. He had 3 jobs when we first met. We had just begun dating when there was a close call in the family and the Brooks were heading to Virginia to pay Mark's grandmother a visit. Turned out they could really use my van and I could ride down with Mark and we could have a mini vacation. I went. I enjoyed the heck out of our time on the road. It was the first time I had taken two days in a row off work at Glidden Fence in 2 1/2 years. I was on such a high on the way home, I asked Mark to stay the night with me. He said, "If I stay tonight, I won't ever leave." I said, "That's fine with me." At the time Mark was working 3 jobs. I barely got to see him. I thought this would make things easier.
The next time I went to see Sue, I told her about Mark. She said, "Oh so you have found yourself a night in shinning armor to save the day." I denied what she said and left her office more irked at her than I had been prior. Prozac is a dangerous "cure" for those struggling with emotional issues.
I'm not sure what was the cause to my birth control not working. I often wondered if it had to do with the Prozac. After not conceiving a child through my entire time with Rodney, I suddenly found myself pregnant by Mark. I instantly recalled my fortune reading. I cannot tell you how badly I freaked out when I realized I was pregnant. After all, I left Rodney in March of 1998. I reasoned that March was shortly after Christmas. I had found myself entangled in another relationship by the end of July and granted it was more like two months later that I found myself pregnant, it still sounded eerily close to the truth. After all, I reasoned, those physics aren't exact to a T in what they tell you. As it turned out I was only pregnant with one girl. Not twins. Mark and I did travel a little in the first two years and I convinced myself that if he could just conquer his drinking problem all would be well. Sadly, I honestly thought if I could help him have Faith in God that I would be excused from all my sins. How I wish I knew then what I know now about "works".
Mark putting down the bottle and turning to God never happened. I imagine I will blog on those chapters of my life as well, but for now, I needed to set the scene for how my relationship with Mike came to be. As God led me to blog on both prayers and keeping your focus on Christ, He did the same with my life story. You see with both those blogs, when I sat down to write them, I knew in order to blog on what God had excited me about, I needed to go back a chapter to do justice to the verse. In this same way, God excited me with 4 titles: "Exciting, no doubt about it, God was there" chapters of my life with Mike. Only to discover that when I sat down last night to blog about one of them, I could not jump right in. I was going to have to start with chapters I did not care for. I must admit I am happy to have this part of my life's story mostly behind me. I am sure details will be added later. For now the above synopsis will suffice.
The first day I met Mike was August 3, 2003. He walked through my door with his father. I was informed I needed to get him an application form and a W2. He was our newest employee. Over the next few months we formed a friendship. I often gave him advice! I had no idea he had a crush on me.
That same year, Mark left me for another girl right after Christmas 2003. I honestly had no intentions of getting with anyone. Going from Rodney to Mark after Jeff, Jimmy and Bruce and a couple others I have yet to have even mentioned, had left me convinced men were all the same and not one of them was worth my time. It was January 14th when I awoke from a dream around 3 in the morning. In the dream, Mike had called out to me to give him a chance. He promised he would love me like I deserved. I literally sat up in my bed and said out loud, "Mike?" and went back to sleep. I could not get him out of my head after that try as I might. Every time I heard him in my head I would think to myself he is so much younger. I would tell myself I was delusional. January 17th, 2004, while I was waiting on William and his friend to come out of the hockey arena, I couldn't stand it another minute. I managed to work up 20 seconds of insane courage and I called one of the men to inquire if they knew how to get in touch with Mike. They asked me why I wanted to know and I simply stated I needed to ask him a question. He told me to try Larry, Mike's dad. He thought he hung out there on Saturday night.
I called and Larry answered the phone. I asked him if Mike was there. He informed me he was and gave Mike the phone. As casually as I could, I asked Mike if he'd like to join me at my house to play cards. I told him we needed another player. He said sure but he'd need a ride. I told him no problem, I'd swing by and grab him on my way back to dropping William and his friend off. If he knew I was checking him out, he never let on. At the table our knees hit and I swear a bolt of electricity flew through my veins like nothing I had ever experienced. When the game ended, I offered him the couch. I walked him over to it and when I turned around he grabbed me and kissed me. I literally fell off a cliff. It was like nothing I myself had ever experienced. I swear, the ground fell out from below me.
When the first kiss was over,I asked him, "When were you born?" He replied, "Age does not matter." I informed him, "I don't care about the year, all I need is month and day. He told me and then began kissing me again. I continued to fall. The next day, I looked up his date of birth in an astrology book and discovered his date of birth was one of six dates listed as being compatible with me. My heart was overjoyed. I continued to tumble for the next 10 months. Our relationship had begun. We were together every spare moment after that.
On February 4th, I knew I was pregnant. I had never felt so pregnant in my life. I took a test and sure enough it was positive. I called my OB/GYN and informed them. They asked me about my dates and suggested I come in for a blood test to make sure. The very next day, they called me and asked if I'd come in for an ultrasound. I thought this was premature but they explained it was a normal procedure due to my age and the dates of my cycle. I didn't think much about it and went to the exam myself. I was on the table and watching the screen in front of me when saw the heartbeat. The woman operating the ultrasound equipment move the instrument slightly and said as matter of fact and dry as possible, "That's what we thought. A second heartbeat. You are having twins." I was speechless. Suddenly I recalled my fortune. I knew they were both going to be girls.
I end here because I know what I am meant to share about this event. We are not meant to look in the future. We are meant to trust in God. My looking ahead changed things. I invested in an unhealthy relationship because I knew the first two years were going to be rough. The psychic had warned me about it. I mistakenly believed my fortune was coming true. I know now why we are warned against this type of activity in the bible. I did not know it prior but I so understand the importance today. When you peek into the future, you have no idea of what time frame you are peering into. That lady did not warn me about another failed marriage after the failed marriage I was already in. Who saw that coming? Not me. I considered her a fake by the time Mike walked into my life! After it was announced I was pregnant with twins it all came rushing back. She was dead on. That realization sent shivers down my spine. I no longer look at astrology books or call on psychics. I warn everyone to stay away from them as well. This is for your own protection.
Father, today I come before you and say thank you for so many blessings. I look to the heavens and am dumb founded that you take the time to pay attention to me. I am so grateful. So many of my fellow brothers and sisters are searching for an answer Father. I pray they are kept from searching it out through dark forces. I pray they turn to you Father. Keep them from temptation. Those who are battling past memories or overwhelming emotions, I pray they turn to you. I pray they stay away from these so called pharmaceutical helpers. You are the healer of emotions and heartaches. I pray more and more recognize the void they feel inside is the relationship they are missing out on with you. I thank you for Mike. I thank you for the life we have together. I thank you for his love for me. Even though some days he and I don't see things the same way, with you in the middle, we are stronger. Thank you for answering prayers. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.
Wendy, Mom of Many
© Wendy Glidden 2013
