I'm Just a Girl

Through out my lifetime friends have paid me compliments such as, "You are strong" or "I really admire your strength."   I laugh and tell them, "I'm not strong. I'm just a girl. I have had my fair share of  "in shambles" moments just like everyone else. I just know that my life has changed majorly several times in the snap of a finger. . . who's to say next time won't be awesome? I realize that quality I possess is 'Hope'. How blessed I am to have that within me.

More recently I have begun getting compliments about how brave I am. I am not brave at all. I just discovered the truth. It is so freeing. It is such good news it will cause you to weep with joy when you completely get it. It is so simple. It is the Lord of Air that tricks us into believing it is complex! He will come at you Every Day, in Every Way. His purpose is to steal, kill and destroy.  Remember if it is not of Love, then it is not of God. Recognize the Emotion and Call it for what it is. You Have Within you all you need to win this spiritual battle. You have been given all the outside tools that will best help you remain victorious day after day.

Today is Totally Terrific Testimonial Tell All Tuesday! Yippee! Today my tell all is this:

Happiness Comes. It Also Goes
It's Joy that FILLS you from Head to Toes.
If you want laughter through the mess
Renew your mind it will reduce the stress.

Today I offered a couple of dares / challenges on Facebook. This covers the Renew Your Mind Challenge. Leave me a comment if you are curious to also take the 35 point Dare Challenge . . . it's more about health & fitness. This one is for your mind. Trust me when I say all aspects of Wellness touch on each other. Work on one area and you will begin a flywheel like none other!

I am offering a 30 day Renew Your Mind Challenge.  

For one month I challenge you to turn off the TV. Listen to Moody radio at home and in the car and even at work if you are able. If a program comes on that you feel is not for you, change over to K-Love or another Christian station. I guarantee you will experience a mind change. The more you listen to Moody the better. I cannot begin to count how much I have learned from their various programs. How much I continue to learn. We are blessed to have the privilege to listen to such teachings.

I also challenge you to listen to the teaching on Hebrews that I am listening to. I have not figured out how to add things outside of YouTube to my blog. . . deep sigh . . . one day perhaps I will gain that insight. For now copy and paste this and it will take you there: http://www.ustream.tv/channel/sunday-worship-at-pinheads. From this link you will have awesome access to learning who you are in Christ and how this knowledge will totally change your life.

My final Challenge is to pick up your Bible and Read the Word of God for yourself. If that seems overwhelming at the moment, find a daily devotional you can read daily. Tons of them are available on line.

Anyone wanting to start this challenge, feel free to email me at WendyGlidden123@gmail.com with an I'm taking the 30 Day Renew Your Mind Challenge! You don't have to. It's just there for those of you who want to.

I leave you with one final thought: I am not brave, I simply fear no evil. My God is Bigger. There are a million songs I could post that I sing daily. Today I am sharing this one: Whom Shall I Fear?

Today I pray for all who have lost hope. Father, please meet them right where they are. I also come before you today asking you to watch over and protect all who are out sharing the good news. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Wendy, Mom of Many

© Wendy Glidden 2012-2013

Children of Divorce or Those With Two Homes

I have had to pray long and hard on where my blog seemed to be heading. I had to make sure it was not about me and my hurts but what I am meant to expose from darkness to light. I want you to know I do not despise Jeff at all anymore. There was a time I could not stand him for what he had put me through. Thank God I am beyond that. Time really does have a way of healing all wounds.

I myself am a child of divorce. My father and mother married at a young age due to my conception. My brother followed me by a mere 10 months 10 days. Stress over finances I am sure did not help my parents. My father left us when I was only 3 years old. I did not see him again until I was close to 5. By age 7, I had been informed by my step mother how unworthy my mother was of my father's devotion. In response to something I had questioned, my mother unloaded a few things off her chest regarding my father. My point here is simply this. That was too much for a child!

My grandmother attempted to clear the muddy water for me by pointing out how young my parents were and how out of line Chris had been with her list of faults regarding my mother. I knew by age 10 this was something I never wanted to do to any child of mine should I have the burden of raising a child of divorce. This was such a big deal to me that when newly married to Jeff we had a discussion how if we did not work out, we were promising each other NOT to do this to our child. It is easy to promise something like that when you are getting along. It is harder to follow through when in the heat of the moment.

If you are a parent that has fallen out of love and are pursuing or have already gotten a divorce from your spouse, I beg you, rise above your own hurt, pain, anguish and judgement. You will Harm YOUR relationship with your child if you talk negatively about their other parent. You may win their love by destroying the other parent but it is Love by deceit. It will not last. Time will reveal truths. It does NOT matter how YOU feel about your ex. YOU don't have the right to bring up their weaknesses to your children. Eventually your child will grow up and they will begin to see things through a new lens. Trust me when I say you don't want to be on the end of judgement and anger from  your child because you felt it necessary to spout off about what a jerk, a looser, a cheater, a rotten provider THEIR father or mother was in YOUR eyes. You are doing yourself and your child as well as your ex a gigantic dis-service with this type of behavior.

I had the pleasure of having this confirmed by my oldest son recently. He thanked me for NOT tearing His Father down. He also mentioned how he had felt robbed of his relationship with me in his youth because of what His Father had told him. Turns out my son sees me for who I have always been. Praise God, I have been redeemed of all the lies and deceit and not by my own defense.

I know fully well how hard it is to bite your tongue when your child is informing you of your faults and failures according to your ex spouse. Especially when some of it is so far stretched from the truth that you find yourself biting your tongue til it bleeds. I know how the heat of that moment causes the human side of you to long to get up on your own soap box to defend yourself. I thank God for showing me how detrimental this type of behavior is. I mentioned once in one of my first few blogs how I wrote down what type of parent I wanted to be when God called me at a young age and informed me I would be a mother to many. This was one of the promises I made to myself. No matter how angry I was at the Father of my children, I would not tear him down in front of my children. EVEN if they stooped to that level, I would not. I stumbled a little when it came to the Father of my 4th and 5th babies. Children lurk around the corner. I warn you to guard your tongue and emotions if your children are close by. In time I will share how this made me feel. Let's just say none of it was warm and fuzzy!

I would also encourage anyone going through divorce to not use your children as pawns. Do not get in the way of your child's relationship with the opposing parent. It's not your place. If you have a spouse that is abusive pray for them. Pray they never hurt your child. The courts are not the greatest at protection. Remember you cannot control everything that goes on during visitation but you can keep your eyes and ears open. Keep a journal if you have just cause to worry. Ask questions wisely. Keep your focus on your child and not the other parent.

You should also know children of divorce have an edge over their parents. Yes. You heard me. We have an edge. If you stoop so low as to inform us of how you feel about the opposing parent, we will one day use this to our advantage. We will brag on how awesome the other parent is or how they do certain things for us. Some of it may not even be true. Stand firm in your own parenting and pray for strength. You are going to need it!

As I end this chapter I am going to leave you with this: It has been flashed to me several times that what was too much for Bruce was the craziness that was continuing between Jeff and I where our children were concerned. The last time I saw Bruce was after we had tracked down, found and removed Cassy and Billy from Jeff's new wife's care. They had up and moved during the children's summer visit. It was Jeff's mom that had alerted me to the situation. I will blog in detail what happened soon. I don't know how it took me so long to realize why Bruce ran and blocked contact. I get it today. I am still praying on revealing these shoes I walked in.

I leave you with this favorite phrase of mine. I came up with it when I walked out on Mike last November. I think I am going to use it as a title chapter . . . it is a bit long but I have been saying it for six months now. "You don't have to be beat up to be beat down."

Today I pray for all children of divorce. I pray for all parents going through the process and those still licking their wounds. I pray you rise above your pain. I pray you seek wisdom on the best way to raise your child or children in a split home. I pray you have strength to get through all the situations that come your way. I pray that you are able to resist tearing your spouse down to gain your child's love. Father I come to you today and ask you to meet those in their pain and lift them. Fill single mother's and father's with strength, peace and wisdom. Fill the children with your Love. In Jesus name I pray. Amen

Wendy, Mom of Many

© Wendy Glidden 2013 

Back Flash

What a journey this has been. I knew the pain of my giving Amanda Rose up for adoption was going to be something to relive. I was not prepared for how overwhelming it turned out to be. If I could have cut out my heart, I think I would have. I cried out for relief. Even in reflection it is still so raw my eyes fill with tears and my heart is heavy. I think it is why I have been calling out to others that are in a dark place right now. I encourage you to press on. Find a Friend. I'll be your friend! I'm already your long lost sister! I know heartache. I am familiar with the thoughts that it would be easier to go to sleep and never wake up again. That is what the evil one wants you to believe. It is a lie.

Life always has twists and turns. Aren't you interested what may be around the next corner?

My life has been a roller coaster for sure. So, this is where I was at. In pain. I see the road ahead I'm being called to share and again I called out to My Father. What next? I have had signs. He has shared things with me. Things I had tucked back in the recesses of my brain. Lately I have been that obstinate child saying how do I share that? I know the answer. I listen for the title that He will give me. Once I hear it and type it in He gives me the rest.

Unfortunately, I've been too busy voicing my fears and concerns over what I am led to share to open myself up to hearing my next chapter title. Ever hear the phrase, "I'm dragging my feet."? Yea, that would have been me.

I resolved last night to pray for direction, protection and strength. This morning I was awakened with my next title. As always, it is so perfect. Back Flash. I've been having a lot of them. So funny that I never thought of the title myself. I know it was because I simply was not ready and willing to proceed. I want to thank all those that prayed for protection over me. I felt lighter yesterday and was able to write a blog. I know it was more for me than anyone. It helped me lift my head back up. So thank you my fellow prayer warriors!

In my blog, The Only Baby I Ever Planned, I shared how Bruce had called me saying that this was all too much for him and he had changed his mind. In the heat of writing that blog I was still in the same mental shape I was in the first time. I was confused and full of overwhelming heart ache. I just did not get how he felt it would be better to abandon me and the baby he had begged me to have with him. I was angry at him still. I had never put myself in Bruce's shoes. I allowed him no grace.

Recently I have had many back flashes and they have not been pleasant to say the least. Somehow I knew I'd have to talk about the turmoil I lived through regarding Jeff and our mutual children. I now understand what it was that was too much for Bruce and in my heart I can no longer be angry at him. Allow me to paint the scene.

My divorce from Jeff was far from easy or pleasant and the repercussions of leaving him haunted me off and on until our children were teenagers. Anyone that has ended a relationship knows full well the battle that often ensues do to each parties hurts. This relationship was one of those. I think it happens more in abusive situations than others and if you've read my blog Staring Down the Barrel of a Shotgun you know full well that mine was an abusive relationship.

If you have never been in a physically abusive relationship and you know someone who is currently in one you may question why this persons stays there. Perhaps you wonder why don't they leave? The most asked question is why do they go back?  I know why. You see, I was that girl.

I promised to publish this blog before the end of the day and it is 11:48 pm EST. I am exhausted but know what I am being led to share. I don't care for it. It's not anything I care to relive but I know God is showing me something. Who knows perhaps many of you will figure it out before I do!

Today I come before you Father asking for more strength and clarity on how I am to share all of this. I thank you for getting me through every rough spot I have been in. I thank you for your Grace. Where would I be without it? I stand in awe of how you have led me to writing again. I thank you for all my education over the years. I thank you for helping me find fellowship. I pray Father that anyone secluded from others find fellowship with fellow believers. I also pray for all who are living in an abusive situation. Please lift them up. Fill them with the Faith you filled me with the last time Father. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Wendy, Mom of Many

© Wendy Glidden 2013

Self Control is A known Fruit!

Good morning world! Today the birds are singing, the sun is shining and the day has started off with a blast. If you don't just love your life today, you are who I am praying for! Life. It can be brutal but much much much better than the alternative! I am saddened by the truth that people can be so mean to other people. Stress, depression, suicide, they are All on the rise. Spanning age ranges from the youngest to the oldest. How did that happen? One can't help but wonder, "How did we get to be such a rude, inconsiderate, hateful, uppity, better than, haughty human race?" We have steered so far from Grace it is almost scary.

Today I would like to encourage everyone to pay attention to their emotions! Were you aware that self control is a fruit of the spirit? Did you know that you are warned to steer clear of anger for your own protection? The more I learn about Jesus, The Lord of Air, The fruits of the Spirit, and my armor needed to live the abundant life I was promised, the more aware I am of the evil we face daily. I know I have blogged before on how important it is to realize we are indeed in a spiritual battle and therefore how vital it is that you understand the force you are fighting. I think it is in my blog titled "Why you need to know Scripture". Please do not mistake me for some great teacher when it comes to God's Word. I only know what He wrote on my heart. It was written on yours too. Just because it is there does not mean we all pay attention to it. If that were the case I don't think we'd be instructed to seek God. The more you understand God's Word, the more you will long for it.

One of the first books of the Holy Bible I studied with a small group was Ephesians. I will openly admit I really struggled with my tongue at this point in my life. For that matter, I struggled with the whole "Submit" issue. That was a year ago. Literally. Now I submit to Mike but not how I first thought that meant. When you "get" the beauty of what The Word is actually speaking to you, submitting to your spouse is an awesome thing. That is not to say that Mike and I don't occasionally disagree over something. What it does mean is we know how to communicate now. I submit to Mike because He submits to me. After 9 years I am in awe that we are like newlyweds again. We appreciate each other. I could weep due to the amount of gratitude I have for God's Grace. The Word saved my marriage. The Word is helping me with every element of my life. It is the number one book when it comes to "Self-helpers".

I imagine that fact alone is why the evil one has blocked it's use at every opportunity. It's why he created so many false religions. He is so darn sneaky he will have you convinced you need to work on your sin. Have you ever heard you can only concentrate fully on one thing at a time? It is true. It is why Lamaze works as well as it does. When a woman is concentrating on how to breath that is her focus, not the pain itself. With that in mind, when Satan can get you busy "working on your problem" you are not paying attention to your righteousness. You are focusing on the problem which will always result in making you stumble again and again. Giving the evil one more ammunition to use against you. There is no need for you to live that way. You see, you are already sanctified. If you pay attention to your righteousness and not your sin, you will sin less. Instead of beating yourself up or putting yourself down, listen to the positive voice inside of you.

The Lord of Air came here with one purpose in mind, to steal from you, to destroy you, and to kill you. Jesus came so that you could have life and live that life abundantly. Jesus came here to live out "The Law" perfectly. He was able to do what no human could. He did not have an earthly father. He is God's only begotten Son. He came here to save us. He too was messed with by Satan. He understands our pain, our confusion, our fight. We have an ally in Heaven. Through is fleshly death and His resurrection, we have nothing to fear. Stop crucifying yourself for past mistakes. Not one of us is perfect! Stop asking for something you already have. Forgiveness is already granted for all past and future sins. There is nothing you could do today or tomorrow that has not already been forgiven. Instead of asking for forgiveness, ask for strength!

The Holy Bible warns you about the enemy and gives amazing advice for how to get the most out of life. Stop thinking of it as a Religious book. The Holy Bible is the Word of God. Nothing More. Nothing Less. If you desire a better life, if you long for happier days, if you wish you could become a better person, there is only one book you need to check out. It holds all the secrets to abundance!!! I highly encourage you to get into The Word and to find a small group to study with. We were not meant to walk through this life alone my friends, don't help the evil one seclude you from relationships with fellow believers.

I was prompted by the Holy Spirit to share a song yesterday. No sooner than I had posted it in various groups on Facebook a dear friend of mine replied that she had added it to her play list. She stated that it was right where she was in her walk. With that in mind, I am sharing it here too.

Today I pray for all who are lost, lonely and without hope. Father, I ask you to go to them. Get their attention  like you got mine Father. I know I sought you as a child and I thank you for your Grace. We both know how far I ran from you. Father, those that have never turned to you and those that have run from you, they need you more than ever. I ask you to go to them Father. Lift them up. Speak to their hearts Father. I come to you asking that you turn up the volume. So many of us hear the Lord of Air much clearer and louder than we Hear the voice of righteousness. Teach us to be still Father. Tune in our inner ears. Magnify your word that you wrote on our hearts. Make it clear and undeniable Father. I am so grateful that I know you. I only long for my fellow brothers and sisters know you too. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

© Wendy Glidden, published 5/15/2013

Tomorrow Could Just Be The Best Day of Your Life!

Good Morning World! Today is Wild Wacky Wonderful Weds. Wow!! I have so much to share . . . I need more time to myself . . . Spring has sprung at work and Glidden Fence Company Inc is so blessed this year for we have enough work to keep ourselves all hopping! Feels good after a long winter ♥ Weds are the day that inspired me in changing my mindset! You see, it's the day that I have no help. No lunch break. Some days it's all I can do to get a drink. It's an insane pace but I have made a game of it over the years.

Regardless when going at that pace you are bound to make an error, get yelled at, or have someone get angry with you. I have bawled my eyes out over a customer getting angry at me over something they consider life shattering. Usually it is not an actual life shattering problem, especially when you weigh the matter against the matters of the world, yet I cannot say that to them! 

Today, I pray we all give each other a little more encouragement and slack. I pray we go about our day smiling and being an encouragement to others. Put yourself in someone else's shoes. 

One of my favorite lines from Jesus is when He stepped forward and said, "Let he who has not sinned cast the first stone." I had that stenciled out and on my wall when I was a teenager! One day I will share other items I had up as well!

Anyway, Weds were the reason I wrote the blog "It Starts with Your Mindset" If you struggle with the days of the week and associate them in the slightest negative way, I encourage you to check out this blog. Following this formula has totally changed my outlook! 

Speaking of outlook, on my way to work this morning in the midst of singing praises and just smiling as I belted along with the radio. Chris Tomlin, I lift my hands was on . . . You should check it out on YouTube. I believe many of you will love the words. Next came a song about How much God loves us and I was reflecting on all I had been through over my mere 44 years and I was overwhelmed with God's love for me. Next I flashed on how down some of us are throughout our journey. I don't think there is a human being out there who hasn't had an awful day and wished they could go to bed and never get back up. That made me reflect on the sadness of so many ending their lives when they hit these lows and my heart ached. I thought to myself, "I have had days I too wished I could curl up and die but had I, I would have missed some of the Best days of my life!" Yesterday was admittedly the worst day of my life. This was the message I shared with the world:

A Sad Saturday

With that in mind, I would like you to recall the last "Best Day of Your Life" ANY time you hit the lowest of lows and remind yourself that this moment too shall pass. Please get on your knees and pray to Your Father in Heaven for peace, joy, and strength. He is always there waiting for your plea. Ask others to pray for you. Reach out to your fellow brothers and sisters. Please what ever you do don't play with ending your life. After all, Tomorrow could just be The Best Day of Your Life!

Today I pray for all who are dealing with depression. Father I too have been in this black hole. I thank you for showing me I could turn to you any day any time any where. I ask that you go to those who are in pain and darkness and flicker some light their way. Send a hand or foot of Jesus to them Father. I also pray that those of us who are firm in our faith become more bold in sharing your message of Grace and Glory. I pray Father that we step out of the shadows ourselves and regardless of fear that may attack us from the evil one that we push on, headstrong in the fight. I pray we begin to show each other the Grace you alot us Father. In Jesus name I pray! Amen.

****** In my heart, I believe my story was written to help many who are hurting in some way ~ if you are that person or you know a person, please visit this link "The Proof is in the Pudding!" and buy a copy for yourself or a friend!

Wendy,
Mom of many

© Revised 2014 Wendy Glidden © 2013 Wendy Glidden

My Title to This Blog Stands

Fabulous!!! It is Fantastically Fun-Filled Family Friday!! Can I get a whoop whoop!

 Last week at this time I was attacked by a fellow believer in Jesus. I began a blog last December not of my own will but of God's. If you have read my blog, you would realize most would not willingly tell so much about their life. Honestly, if I hadn't lived the life I have lived, I'm not sure I would be blogging out all my skeletons. Regardless, when you pray for a sign and have a billboard land in your path, well, you stand back and recognize. This was the case for me. I was informed by this person that my blog title was offensive. (I Am Worthy) it bothered me so much I asked for others opinions in every group I am in. The feedback was this. "We love the title. We know Jesus is the reason we can go to the throne with boldness. No explanation needed." My all-time favorite reply came from Nakilah Shannon, she runs the ministry group called Hagar’s Fountain of Hope, here is the link to her ministry page on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HagarsFoH?ref=ts&fref=ts . 

She said in a gist, “Wendy, if God had a problem with your blog, HE would have convicted you. I know you have no problem hearing Him." So, with that in mind, my title is going back to the original "I AM WORTHY" without the tag line that I had added due to my Fear of being mis-understood. After all, Nakilah is right, God put that title in my head for a purpose. Who am I to deny Him that? If you have never read even one of my blogs, what are you waiting for?

This last week has been so crazy. I have been up until midnight every night this week and somehow I still have so much work left undone.  I have not written one blog this week. My study bible has vanished and I have allowed that to drive me insane. I did recognize the silver lining this morning on my way to work. My car is clean, my home is Organized. In my search I cleaned and straightened every corner of my home.  I have resolved to go to the Christian store and purchase another one. I am sure once I do this the original will suddenly appear like a snake ready to strike!

** Update regarding my study bible! It has been found. It would seem someone, while cleaning the car, found my bible too big to belong inside the car! It was placed in the trunk in a box to keep it safe of all places. Shaking my head. Husbands! It would be nice if you remembered what you did when you "cleaned up"! I am so happy to have it back. A regular bible just is not the same!! Plus this one is a lap bible so I can curl up and read. I am amazed at how I see the story unfolding in my head. I can almost hear Paul at times. How incredible it must have been to actually see this man talking about the Glory of God. He must have lit up as bright as the North star!!

I recently figured out how to add you tube videos to my blog. Soon I will know how to make my own! How far I have come!! Anyway, the first time I heard this song it left me in tears. It hit so close to home. I hope you take a moment to listen. It ties in perfectly with this particular blog. I know this is why God gave me this title. The evil one told me I was unworthy for years. You know that if you read my story from the beginning. Enjoy! This won the K-Love song of the year award!

I would like to encourage anyone who has landed on this particular blog to flip your view so that you can see all of the titles of my previous blogs. Over half of these blogs are true life accounts. As I mentioned, God called me to openly share my travels with the world. Some of my blogs are about hot topics like gun control, welfare, bullying just to name a few. A couple posts are just poems or about something I did with my family recently. I suggest you pick a couple titles that catch your interest. If you enjoy them and would like to know my full story, I suggest you start back at the first blog. Ironically titled “In the Beginning” Our Father!! He has an awesome sense of humor. I hope you catch that through my story! Stay blessed. Stay Focused in the Word. We are in a battle my friends! Gather your gear and join me in this fight!!

Today I pray for all who are taunted by the evil one. I pray we recognize Satan’s voice and mute it every time he, The Lord of Air, begins to whisper false truths. I pray for those who remain in doubt regarding Satan and Jesus. May their eyes be opened to the truth, I pray they are struck with curiosity so much so that they begin to read Your Word Father. I pray it speaks volumes to them. I pray for those who spread the good news Father may they do so boldly bringing only Glory to your name. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Wendy, Mom of Many

© Wendy Glidden 2012-2013