It's Got to Start With Me!

So again this morning, I was stirred awake by a song. As I came to understand the words themselves, I sat up on full alert. This is indeed what I have wanted all my life. I am a vital part of the body of Christ so it only makes sense that I would need to act as such and stop waiting on someone else to take the first step. I wondered what more am I to do?

Here are the lyrics that I heard: "I really wanna change the world / I really wanna sing your song / But I know revival's got to start with me" as I have gotten in the habit of doing, I have located the full song with the lyrics included. I have sung this song when it has been played on the radio, but to get a feel of what I am to share today, I am going to treat myself to watching the video in it's entirety! I hope you take the time to do the same!

  

So, I guess those of us that really want to change the world, including myself, need to always remember that we start on our knees to do this! It is very comforting to also realize that if I try to do something in my own strength, I am doing nothing. Instead of crashing through doors, I need to wait for God to open them. Outside of God, I am just a girl. Nothing more, nothing less. With God at my side, directing my footsteps, while leaning on His strength, I am every bit as mighty as Daniel and David! Now that is good news!

This morning after I chatted with God, I picked up my phone to check the time and saw I had a text message that came through at 1:57 AM. It was from Mike. In a gist it was a pretty big apology text. This is the first one of it's kind. I wondered. Is God working on his heart? When I came into work, I turned on Moody radio and caught an interview from a couple right here in Indianapolis. They had divorced and remained so for 10 years, when by the Grace of God, they were brought back together. I missed some of their interview but I felt my heart moved. I must be honest in saying, I would love nothing more than for Mike to grow spiritually and put Christ front and center, for that is the only way he would ever know how he is to treat me. Even with others saying that they know he is not the one for me, I have pondered the thought, could he ever grow into the one? With that being said, this is the prayer I say at night where Mike is concerned:

I forgive you for all you've done to me. 

I pray for you even though I set you free.

May you grow into the husband I know you can be.

May I remain the one you long to see.

My heart it breaks, it kills me to let you go.

For you may not return to me this I know.

But if you stay you'll never grow

And I can't continue this way you know.

May your heart break, may you come to find

You'd love to follow this God of mine.

The Most High God, Creator of ALL

I pray to your knees you finally fall

And when you lift your face to Him

May you find your true love for me again.

In Jesus name I pray.

So, I would be a liar if I claimed his words did not touch my heart. They did. So, I sent him this text as a reply:

This morning I recalled your embrace.

I pictured your handsome face.

I wondered if I showed you enough grace.

Yet the Lord is showing me truth.

You're caught up in the thoughts of youth.

You're all about you and nothing about me.

And this is why I had to set you free.

I pray one day you will return

but the Lord said with me you'll never learn.

So each night a prayer for you I say

May you be convicted more each passing day.

If and when you have the Lord front and center

Into marriage we can enter.

I pray you are able and willing

For to be in your arms again would be so thrilling.

Until you write me a letter by pen

I shall not text you again.

His reply, "It's in the mail."

Count me floored. Mike does not write. Well, not from the heart anyway. I received a couple of letters during the times he was in jail and they were so unmoving, I threw them all away!

In the mean time, should it take more than a decade, my focus is going to stay on God and His word. I know not where he is leading me, but I know I will follow. I am blessed beyond measure to have such a close relationship with Him again, especially after all I did to ruin it! I am not going to stray. He has let me know I am loved beyond measure. I do not need to wait around weeping for a man. I have a loving Father to carry me through this life. I know not if Mike will ever return to me. I know many most likely think he and I will never be together again. Others might even believe there is another man out there for me. I, however, feel strongly that I tied myself with Mike when I said my vows to him standing before God. We are unevenly yoked right now but God can move those who seek him. I know in my heart Mike is aware of God. Only time will tell if he is strong enough to get down on his knees and allow God to transform him into a new creation. I do know God will not allow me to be deceived again by Mike. My eyes are too wide open and I will continue to pray to keep them open. I will continue to pray for clearer vision. The Lord is front and center in my life and that is the way things will stay. 

My go to verse this year has been from Psalm 46, specifically verse 10. From my MacArthur study bible it reads:

"Cease striving and know that I am God;

I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth"

As I have come to do, I find myself needing more and more and more of God's word. It's almost as if I cannot get enough. There is so much wisdom within the pages though, you need to devour them slowly so that you are able to better digest them. I have read this entire Psalm a few times admittedly. The words themselves energize me in ways I cannot begin to explain into words. With that being said, I feel the urge to share this entire Psalm with you. I may have done this once already but when moved by the spirit I must do as urged. Pslam 46, verses 1 - 11 taken out of the my study bible mentioned above:

verse 1: God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.

verse 2: Therefore we will not fear, though the earth should change and though the mountains slip into the heart of the sea;

verse 3:  Though its waters roar and foam, Though the mountains quake at its swelling pride. 

verse 4: There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, The holy dwelling places of the Most High.

verse 5: God is in the midst of her, she will not be moved; God will help her when morning dawns.

verse 6: The nations made an uproar, the kingdoms tottered; He raised His voice, the earth melted.

verse 7: The Lord of hosts is with us; The God of Jacob is our stronghold.

verse 8: Come, behold the works of the Lord, Who has wrought desolations in the earth.

verse 9: He makes wars to cease to the end of the earth; He breaks the bow and cuts the spear in two; He burns the chariots with fire.

verse 10: "Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."

verse 11: The Lord of hosts is with us; The God of Jacob is our stronghold.

I tell you, this Psalm makes me want to get up and dance with pure elated joy. What a revelation! Today I am so joyous, I can't even put it into words. I can only imagine what I would be feeling right now were I leaning on my own strength. I would be an absolute mess! Satan would have won the battle where I am concerned. Thank God, literally, for coming here so that we may live our lives abundantly. If you are miserable, if you are dealing with depression or even some other mental / emotional issue, if you are in a desperate place, I STRONGLY advise you to begin knocking on that door! He is FAITHFUL!! Should you seek with all your heart, you will find. If you only knock in an attempt to gain something, your knock is not from the purity of your heart but rather from a stance that derives from the desires of this world and God knows your heart, he cannot be deceived. However, when you arrive on your knees, truly longing for peace joy and love, that door will swing open and you will be welcomed home. I am praying for you.

Father, today I pray for all who are in a desperate place. May they find themselves on their knees. For only when we get on our knees do we find you. What a treasure you are Lord. You are everything. How long we search aimlessly filling our empty lives with false treasures. They bring no lasting pleasure. They are empty, dark, void. They are traps set by the evil one. May eyes begin to open and see these illusions for exactly what they are. May my fellow brothers and sisters who are still asleep begin to awaken. May we be shaken to our very core. May the body of Christ come alive and begin to work smoothly together. Let it start with me Father. I am you loving daughter, your humble servant. I am so excited to begin my journey going where you lead, allowing your spirit to work through me. Help me stay out of the way Father, in Jesus name I pray! Amen.

Wendy, walks with God,

Mom of Many

© Wendy Glidden 2013

God is Always Good!

Good morning my friends! Today is marvelously magnificent miraculous Monday. What do you consider to be a miracle? For me just this day and the way I can laugh is a miracle. For you see, a small part of me would prefer to be curled up in a corner crying my eyes out. However, I know that that is what the evil one wants for me. His only purpose is to steal, kill and destroy. His desire is to keep me in bondage in the dark buried in misery. Pardon the pun, but I say "Hell no!" to that!! My God came so I could LIVE life and live that life abundantly! He sent his only son to share with us the message of His NEVER ENDING LOVE and GRACE. His only begotten son, doing no wrong, died on the cross and proclaimed, "It is finished." Who am I to say otherwise. I say to you who are down for whatever reason, recognize misery and worry for what they are: Satan's sad attempt to steal your joy, kill your dreams and destroy your purpose.

God is always good. He gave us free will. Satan uses that knowledge against us. He whispers things to us and tricks us into focusing on things of this world. It is miraculous what happens in your life when you change that focus onto God and His kingdom. All of a sudden what is meant to destroy us, loses it's power. Let me see if I can show some examples here from my own life. God knows I've been through one hell of a thirty day storm. Let me recap it all for those of you who have not been following my blog:

July 31, 2013:  My children and mother were having what seemed at the time a battle of wills. She had made a bad decision and in the process my children were removed from her custody by a sheriff and whisked off to the hospital to be examined thoroughly. LONG STORY!

August 2, 2013:  Mike headed off to Florida as his grandfather was on his death bed and Mike, while not close to his grandfather, felt his mother needed him. He had stated, "I've never heard her cry so hard."

August 4, 2013:  By 5:00 pm, Mike had not been heard from anyone. He was driving to Florida on his motorcycle. The last time I had heard from him, he informed me his tire was showing the metal mesh and he was looking for a tire shop. While he was missing in action, I received a call from the sheriff's office. My heart lurched and my mind immediately thought the call was about Mike. However, it was in regards to my 14 year old. ANOTHER long story!

August 5, 2013: While at court with my 14 year old and her father, my phone rang and I was informed that another report had been filed with the department of children. In the process of trying to put all the pieces of this crazy puzzle together, I discovered a great betrayal committed against me by both my mother and my oldest child. Yelp, you know it, yet another long story!!

August 6, 2013: Mike's grandfather was buried. I removed my children from my mother's care permanently. Mike decided he should be back at home and had me wire him money to get back earlier than he had originally planned on.

August 8, 2013: I took the two children in question regarding the 2nd report filed with the department of children for their criminal forensic interview. We were there for three very long hours. I was informed my mother was going to be arrested when all was said and done. I was also informed that the case worker needed to come visit my home and have a safety meeting there with the children, Mike and I. It was scheduled for August 12th, 2013. I left that meeting there leaning on the strength of God.

August 9, 2013: Mike made it back home VERY early in the morning. However, it was quite obvious he would have rather been back in Florida. I enrolled Michael, Marissa, Marie and Delilah into school. My mother was officially arrested and in the process signed a statement saying I knew everything that she had been doing concerning the punishment of my children. I learned about this via a voice mail left on my phone letting me know the investigation was still ongoing and now I was also being focused on for neglect of my dependents.


August 11, 2013: After getting the house in order for the safety inspection, we headed off to Ohio to participate in Faith Day with the Cincinnati Reds and Mercy Me. We had an extra ticket due to Tia still being incarcerated so I brought along a sister in Christ, who witnessed first hand the old Mike. It crushed my heart to witness it myself. I recognized the complete change of heart in him even before she commented on it herself. Not many have seen this Mike in action and those that have always look at me in amazement. Like I said, I have wanted to be loved for so long, I show a ton of grace just to prove what I read about me wrong. (Much of this is in the blog post 'Better off With God')

August 12, 2013: My caseworker called and rescheduled the appointment to August 19, 2013 due to her own illness.

August 14, 2013: The Fantastic Four headed off for their first day of school and I returned to work with my 3 year old at my side. He works with me every day now.

August 18, 2013: I shared at church what I was going through and requested prayers for myself and my family.

August 19, 2013: The caseworker came to my house to interview my children. She was there for an hour and a half. I learned even more about things that had happened under my mothers care. In the end the caseworker said she was not going to substantiate charges against me for neglect but due to the severity of my case, she would have to have that decision confirmed by her superior and the district superior. Five minutes after our meeting ended, it was verified that Tia was being released from custody.

August 23, 2013: The school children rode the bus to school for the first time this year. Because of our late enrollment a bus stop had not been created for them. I praised God for the timing. Mike had scheduled the family car  to be dropped off for a new front control arm and wheel bearing on the driver side. It was supposed to be finished before the end of the day. This did not happen. Imagine a weekend with more children than will fit in one car. Let's just say Sunday morning we drove the house and the jeep to church

August 26, 2013: I injured myself playing with Jeffrey Thomas. I had picked him up and he managed somehow to shove off of me pulling my shoulder out of place.

August 27, 2013: I awoke to not only arm pain, but neck pain. I scheduled an emergency chiropractor appointment and went in to get my shoulder put back in place and realized just what a mess I was. My neck had muscle spasms galore. He managed to make a little headway. I was still in pain.

August 28, 2013: It was becoming undeniable Mike's heart was in Florida. I awoke to pain. It felt like my neck bone was bruised and my arm was on fire like my muscles had been torn.

August 29, 2013: I had come home to find Mike in a mood after bible study and I had had it. In a fit of righteous anger, I got on my knees and prayed, "Dear Lord, either Convict Mike or Remove him from my life. In Jesus name I pray. Amen."

August 30, 2013: I found my Great Banquet Cross Necklace in the process of helping Mike find a sweater. I also had an add for an apartment complex flip on my desk and decided to take it as a sign. I called and reserved myself a 3 bedroom apartment. They thought one would open up in either December or January.  Department of children called to say they were filing their official report and only needed to hear from Mike before they signed off. He of course had left his phone at home but when he got in he called. No one was answering the phones so he left a voice mail saying in a gist, I was told to call, this is my call. As far as I know they never called him again. By nightfall I was in a lot of pain. Typing had not helped my back / shoulder / neck muscles. Mike told me I needed to tighten up.

August 31, 2013: I took the children to play McDonalds and then to the water park. Mike took his defensive driving course. I was waiting for him to finish thinking he'd call me and we'd go have an early dinner together and then I would do laundry. Instead, he sent me a text and took himself out to Broadripple to eat lunch by himself. I was miffed to say the least. The children and I went out to eat alone. Mike called while we were out and informed me he was finally on his way home. The plan was for me to drop off the children and go do laundry by myself. I ended up doing laundry with all the children. I was in immense pain by the time I got home. Mike had promised me a massage when I sent him a text letting him know I was on my way, but ended up yelling at me over some essential oils and the fact that I was not interested in experimenting with them until I took my class with the friend that had introduced the company to me. After that I shared with Mike exactly where I stood.

September 1, 2013: Mike was in one of his moods and decided he was not going to go to church with us. We went without him and then went to the annual cookout with a very good friend of mine. Mike checked on us once around 6pm. I'm sure his only reason for calling was just to get a feel for when I might be home. Amazingly enough my neck began to feel better as the day progressed. The day before it hurt just to hold my head up!

September 2, 2013: The big blow up happened. I left Mike. I was homeless and without transportation due to a broken down car that was running fine just prior to the blow up. This is again another long story and all in my blog.

September 3, 2013: I had my car towed into the mechanic and received the news of what was wrong. (Long story and yes, in the blog.)

September 4, 2013: Mike decided he was going to leave the house with me and move to Florida on Friday. My car was fixed at an amazing low low price. (I also blogged on these blessings)

September 6, 2013: Mike said goodbye when he collected his last paycheck and packed up his Jeep, hooked up his trailer and loaded up his jet ski. He went out to where the rest of our stuff was to finish loading the rest of his belongings, including his motorcycle.

September 7, 2013: Mike went to the Chicago Cubs game with his mother.

September 8, 2013: Somehow Mike had discovered we were at the hotel and he along with his mother showed up after midnight at the hotel I was staying at for the night and surprised everyone at breakfast. He gave me $150 to cover child support for the week. He promised to send me a letter with money every week. He informed me he'd be back in January to ask me to marry him and we parted ways. Me, off to church and him off to Florida. After church I took the children to the store and we bought a wading pool with a slide, a slippy slide that ended in another wading pool, a little air compressor and a 75' foot no kink hose like the one that had burned in the fire pit four years prior. Who'd think a simple hose could cause so many emotions! I think greater understanding regarding why a hose could cause one to cry can be found in the blog "Saved by an Army of Angels". After we set up the pools, I went inside the house and rearranged the furniture and closets.

September 9, 2013: My first day at work knowing I will not be seeing Mike walk through my door anytime soon. I am filled with peace and great sadness all at the same time.

I am here to tell you, this last month would have left someone without belief in shambles. Destroyed. It is my shield of faith, my helmet of salvation, and very much so, prayer that kept me standing. If you don't recognize these articles of clothing, I highly recommend you check out the book of Ephesians!

So, I was looking at my phone the other day, and I was going to delete all my texts back and forth with Mike. I cracked up when I read the oldest text I had sent him. This one from August 4th. I had sent it to him in hopes that he would give me a call. If you have read my blog post 'Suckerpunched' you know about much of this, but I neglected to share the text I had sent him in hopes of getting him to call me before the one I sent asking if he was going to call soon as I was getting ready for bed. I sent it with this picture of the children. I laughed so hard because it happened to be in a somewhat of a poetic form. Cracks me up to see myself in the rear view mirror. Turns out, with Jesus as my guide, I'm turning out to be pretty funny! Here is the picture and text I sent him:

School starts weds.

They got new doos

and new shoes 

and an outfit our two.

Would have gotten a little more

but the police called me while I was in the store. . . 

You could say it's been a fun day

all but you missing and Tia hauled away. 

Seems she ran away from her dad. 

He called the cops on her ... yelp pretty bad.

My point here is simply this. Life happens. Some of it is awesome but a lot of it is filled with the chaos of this world. God does not long for you to focus on all of that junk. He wants you to focus on Him. Read His word. It is full of advice and warnings. Arm yourself. You are in a spiritual battle. Good and evil exist. Within yourself, if you are a believer, you will hear the voice of righteousness guiding you and convicting you when you drift from the narrow road. If you are not a believer, I pray you are simply lost or misinformed, my prayer for you is that you find your way home. To all believers who are being fed the lie that you are no longer worthy of grace or mercy, those of you who believe you have gone to far to ever come back home, read my story. I highly doubt you could be any worse of a sinner than I was. Sin is sin. Today I am a holy redeemed saint. I am a light of hope for others. I am doing my Father's will. He called me to share my life, my story with all who care to read it. I am inspired by much of what I have written and I lived it all! Please, if you are down and depressed or filled with worry, I encourage you to go back to my first post and read my story. I add to it monthly. I think perhaps with less chaos in my life, I will begin to add to it more and more often. There is still so much left to share. May God bless you.

Father, today I come to you with such joy. How clever you are. How blessed I am. Never in a million years could I have put together all you have sown in my life. Thank you for loving me so. In the midst of this brutal storm I felt you by my side. Thank you so much for the artists that sing your praises for the lyrics helped to encourage me through my tears. Songs like, "Whom Shall I Fear" and "Overcomer" just to name two of them! Thank you also for allowing me to see an angel as a child. Thank you for her message. I have clung to that truth more times than you know. Ha as if you don't know! Silly me. I love you Father. Please use me however you like. I am forever your loving daughter, your humble servant. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Here is the song I was led to share with this post. Pretty awesome. I am a lyric girl so of course they are included with this video! Enjoy!

Wendy, walks with God, mom of many

© Wendy Glidden 2013

Better Off With God!

Super Silly Sing Song Saturday. I have been listening to a lot of songs today. I drove around aimlessly as I waited for my hotel room to open up for the night. Mike and his mom went to Chicago to watch a Cubs game so I know they will be coming through Indiana again to grab his jeep on the way back to Florida.

It breaks my heart that he is going to truly be removed from my life. I know it was the second part of my prayer to have him removed should he not be open to becoming a man after God's heart, but seeing him so at peace about leaving me and his children behind and going on with his life hurts so badly it is all I can do to not fall apart.

In the process of singing with the songs on K-Love earlier, as tears streamed down my face off and on, I heard the greatest song. It is by Sanctus Real. Here is the link to the you tube video I managed to find of it.

I decided to get a hotel room tonight so I could have a place to crash on a real bed and honestly so I could also have a place to lay down where I can finally cry my eyes out. I am human after all. I devoted almost 10 years of my life to loving this man that I once fooled myself into thinking was mine. I watch our children play and I just don't get how he couldn't love our life. It is painful to say the least. I would love to go home and sleep in my own bed, but I am afraid to stay at our home until I know he is not going to be coming back for good. I need to stay strong. He called me last night and asked if I would come spend the night with him. I told him no. I have had countless people come forward and comment how light cannot be with dark. I had several women friends share with me that they knew I was not supposed to be with Mike but mentioned they could not tell me for that type of truth one has to discover for themselves for it to be truly received. Deep inside I have known it for a while. I am stubborn. I thought with enough prayer God would intervene. Sadly there is this crazy thing God granted us with. Free Will. Mike has his own free will and it currently has no desire to listen to God's word.

I have also received messages praising me for my faith. Please know I am just a girl after God's heart. The more I learned about His Word, the more I longed to follow Jesus, the more my eyes were opened to the life I was living with Mike. It was out of a righteous anger that I spouted off my prayer late Thursday night before I went to bed. My grandma always told me, "Be careful what you ask for, you just may get it." Boy did I ever get it. I know this is right. I belong to Christ. I am His. Like this song explains, "Whatever You're doing inside of me, It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace." I would type all the words within this blog for they all hit so right on. It's as close as I can put my feelings into words. I don't think I have ever heard this song before today. I was surprised to see it was uploaded onto YouTube three years ago. 

I am ready for God to open up my world. There is a peace in knowing that Mike is not going to show up with his negativity. In the same breath my heart lurches for I know I will not be with Mike again and that fact hits my heart with such a force it takes my very breath away. How can it hurt so bad to know he will move on as if I never mattered. I guess that is my flesh. For my heart tells me in closing this door I am about to have my world open up in ways only the deepest recesses of my heart have been allowed to desire. I have always longed to be a servant of the Lord. I have always wanted to enhance the lives of others. I have always longed to be a ray of sunshine in the dark corners of the world for others to see. God must know this about me for it says he knows all of your heart. If it is true that the righteous will have the desires of their hearts I can only imagine how blessed my life is about to become. Better than anything I could have ever dreamed up. That is what I am trying to keep my focus on. Peace, Hope, Faith, Joy and Love. 

I had this back flash hit me yesterday as I was in the office. It was a memory from two decades ago of me reading a very detailed horoscope book. In a gist my horoscope claimed I would be better off alone as I was difficult to please, love and live with. It claimed I demanded too much out of a partner and few would be able to withstand me. It recommended I stay alone and never marry!

I realized yesterday that there was truth to what that book claimed but there was also a very big lie with it. This book was put together without God's word. It is another reason one should not dally in such things. The lies stick with you for decades. You see, I have come to understand that I may be difficult for those who are separated from God to love but those that live in his truth will always find me lovable enough. The sad thing is there are less and less men interested in being followers of Christ. The majority that are, are already taken. I feel I will be without a human partner for the rest of my life and I am okay with that now. I have given my life to Christ. I belong to him. He is sufficient. He loves me the way I deserve to be loved. The way I have longed to be loved all this time. I have spent so many wasted years showing man after man after man the love I have to offer only to have it be unappreciated almost as if it were unseen. I know with my desire to be loved, I have gone to lengths other partners would refuse to. I felt I had to, being so unlovable. I spent countless years of my life wondering what it was about me that made me so unlovable. Now I know, it is not me, it is the broken empty men that have been thrown into my path to keep me from fulfilling my purpose. My fellow brothers and sisters in Christ love me. God loves me. Jesus loves me. That will have to suffice for I have no desire to devote another minute to another male partner that needs a ray of hope. I will forever show them the love of Christ but nothing more. I will not be snared in a trap again. I will not be waylayed from God's promises ever again. My horoscope may have claimed I was better off alone but today I know I am better off with God!

Father, I do feel as if a tornado is whipping around inside of me. How is it possible to be at peace and feel like my heart is being crushed in the same breath. It is absolute chaos and I ask you to remove the pain. Take away this ache for I know it is aching for what never was. It is aching over the loss of time. It is aching due to being fooled for I have been a most foolish girl thinking I could fill the hole in my heart with a man. Only you can give me my hearts desires of my heart. I am tired of keeping busy trying to keep a man. Fill my life so full of your work that I have no desire to be sidetracked. Keep my focus on you Lord. Keep my hands busy and fill my life with work. Use me for what you created me for. I am ready Father. I am your humble servant. Prepare me for all you have for me. Reveal it. Put me to it. Please do not allow me to be idle. Thank you for removing the obstacles that satan has attempted to use to steal my joy, kill my dreams and destroy my purpose. Thank you for always having me. Thank you for my beautiful babies. I am so sorry I stumbled in my faith and did not accept three of those blessings. I have often wondered would I already have been fulfilling my purpose had I just trusted in you all along. Thank you Father for never giving up on me like I gave up on you. I wish I had known about your word in my younger years. I am blessed to have been enlightened now. Thank you for not allowing me to continue to wander in the dark. While I hurt today, I trust it will not last long. I love you Father. Thank you. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Wendy, walks with God

Mom of Many 

© Wendy Glidden 2013

Don't Fret, God is Faithful. He ALWAYS Has 'This'

So, my last blog “Convicted by God” was completed Monday night, September 2nd, 2013, while the children played at play McDonalds and while Mike lost his patience with me blogging. Recently, after I read him the blogs “Have You Ever Been Pancaked” and “Suckerpunched”, I asked him what he thought. He looked at me totally deadpanned and said, “You need to find another hobby.” I looked at him totally astonished. “Hobby!” I exclaimed. “My blog is a far cry from a hobby! It’s my calling. You know I have to write. I am a mighty warrior in God’s army and my weapon is the pen!”  I closed my laptop and walked away shaking my head. Admittedly I was stunned by his comment. Me continuing to blog was not sitting well with him. So, while typing my latest blog at Play McDonalds, it was obvious that the longer I typed the more irritated he became. I wondered why he had even bothered to come with us. He knew I was bringing my laptop to get on the WiFi and finish my latest blog post. 

On the weekends we drive our home out into the country and camp out in the back acreage of some friends. It's truly beautiful and peaceful but I don't have WiFi there. So, here we were at Play McDonalds. The children were playing, I was blogging and Mike was losing it. He gave me and the children a 10 minute window to finish up. I laughed and continued to type out my blog. He walked over to my table and glared at me. I looked up and asked what he was angry about. He snarled at me and informed me I better hurry up because I was down to three minutes. Again I laughed and shook my head continuing to type. I was almost to my ending prayer anyway. I managed to save my blog and post it on both my personal page and my ‘YouAreWorthyToo’ fan page on Facebook as he stormed off with the children to get the car telling me my time was up. He pulled up next to the building as I finished up and Tia and I walked out together. Within minutes of publishing and posting my blog on Facebook my world blew up. I admittedly prayed that either God convict Mike or remove him from my life just four nights prior. However, never in my wildest dreams did I imagine it all unfolding like it did. Here is my post from Tuesday on my Facebook page with my link to the blog post “Convicted by God”:

Funny how you think you have things figured out and just when you think you understand God's timing, you find yourself mistaken. I had thought Mike and I would be living in separate homes by the beginning of next year. Less than 10 minutes after I published my post last night, everything changed. I find myself without a home, 6 children in tow and a car that was given back to me late in the evening that is undriveable and needing the help of a mechanic. I refuse to fret. After all it was my prayer to either convict him or have him removed from my life. They say some prayers are answered in a speedy fashion. This seems to be the case for me. It is I that longed to have my relationship work out with Mike. Time and time again God has shown me I never had Mike, Mike had me. It is not the same. K-Loves encouraging word hits home like it often does:

Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing.

~ Psalm 143:10, NLT

Here is my latest blog post . . . I hope it helps where ever you are in your walk with God: http://youareworthytoo.blogspot.com/2013/09/convicted-by-god.html

Today, it is wild wacky wonderful Wednesday, what a crazy day! Here was my morning post on both my personal page and my “You Are Worthy Too” today:

Wild Wacky Wonderful Weds. I opened up K-Loves encouraging word today and this is what I read: "You don't have enough faith," Jesus told them. "I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it would move. Nothing would be impossible."

~ Matthew 17:20, NLT

I used to think this meant literal mountains and I would think to myself ‘Yea right! Impossible.’ Now I see them as mountains we create when we feel overwhelmed and it is true. With my faith I blast them to vapor. I KNOW KNOW KNOW my God always has me. It is undeniable. Come check out my blog! God gave me the gift of writing and called me out to share my story as a way to encourage and lift my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ! and as I often do I posted the link to my blog.

I am blessed to have such faith and even more blessed to know the value of reading God's word. As my days have unfolded how much unnecessary worry I could have busied myself with. I did think to myself early Tuesday morning how sweet it would be if Mike were to go back to Florida and allow me to stay in our RV until my apartment was available, but there was no way I was going to ask him for such a big favor. Low and behold, he called me out of the blue Tuesday on my way back from lunch with Jean, my awesome sister in Christ who I am staying with this week, and proposed exactly that. I simply said, “Thank you. That would really help me out.” I still had no idea what was up with my car as it was in the process of being towed into the shop. Regardless, knowing I would have a place to stay for the next three months was literally an answer to a prayer. God is so good to me! He is good to all who believe and trust in Him.

Late Tuesday afternoon, the Car Clinic called me to update me on what they had found. A broken u-joint and my drive shaft had fallen out. “I lost the drive shaft” I exclaimed. The girl on the other end providing me with the information kind of chuckled and said, “No, the drive shaft was still there but you are very lucky you made it to where you did.” I inquired about how much she thought it was going to cost. She answered they didn’t know yet. I was a little sick, for I had just had the wheel bearings and drive shaft fixed last December right after I had left Mike the first time. I found it funny in an ironic sort of way that I was facing the same type of damage with my car again. Last time, my invoice was just shy of $1500.00. I asked her how often I could expect this to be a problem and that is when she asked, “Well, exactly what happened before the car began shaking?” I filled her in on the events of the night. 

In a gist, Tia and I were the last in the car. My arm and neck were still hurting and Tia had asked if she could carry the laptop for me. I handed it to her as I got up and told her to place it on the box behind the driver seat. When we got in the car and closed the doors, Mike instantly pulled away from the curb and in the process almost hit a car that was coming around the building. He slammed on the breaks and Tia lost her balance. Mike yelled at her. She called him a jerk. He called her a jerk too. She then jumped out of the car and refused to get back in as long as Mike was in the car. I got out of the car to talk with her and then the children all jumped out as well after unbuckling Jeffrey from his car seat. I looked at Mike and said, “Please apologize. As the driver you should have made sure your passengers were ready for you to take off." He refused and drove off leaving all of us behind. I was exasperated to say the least. That is when I realized my money and bank card were still in the car. Mike stopped at the corner and as I walked up to ask him for my stuff, he was in the process of telling me this was the last chance for me to get back in the car. I said, “It’s really my car and it would be nice if you would get out. I’ll meet you at the shop and get your jeep jumped.” Before I could even finish my sentence, he sped off leaving me, Tia and all his children on the side of the road. I looked at everyone and said, well, it’s going to be dark soon, we need to get to walking quickly. We were around the corner from McDonalds in the park with the walking path when my phone rang. I answered and it was Mike asking where we were. I told him where we were and soon he found us. He was still refusing to get out of the car and walk himself and Tia was being just as stubborn. I finally got her to agree to go back to play McDonalds and wait for me to get back. She said that would work. Once she was safely there, I drove Mike to the shop and jumped his jeep.  I thought it was weird that at first he seemed to be following me but when we got to 31, I went South and he continued East of 32. Less than a mile down the road, my car begin shaking. I slowed my speed and began praying to make it back to McDonalds. I was less than a mile away. As I turned the corner I heard a really loud metallic pop that scared me to death. Then, as I pulled into a parking space I heard the more awful metallic sounds. I parked the car and sent Tia a text to let her know we were outside. Without transportation I was really hosed. It was dark. I could no longer walk anywhere. I had no clothes, no school back packs. I prayed for insight and instantly a fellow sister in Christ came to mind. I called her and she is such a true sister in Christ. She and her mom arrived within 15 minutes picked us up and in two cars drove us to her home. Her mother had brought extra ‘instant’ beds and luckily I had pajamas and extra clothes in my trunk for the children. Always be prepared for anything has been my motto for years. I sent Mike a text asking what he had done to my car as well as asking if he would be kind enough to bring the home back up to the shop so I could unpack it all. He agreed to bringing the home and basically denied doing anything to the car. I only told the girl at the mechanic shop about him driving off and then giving the car back to me. She replied, “Well, we aren’t saying this is what did happen, but the mechanic said the way the U-Joint broke indicated that someone was attempting to do damage to the car purposely. She went on to say the only way to break a U joint the way mine was broken would be for someone to put the car in neutral, rev it and then slam it in drive.” This was no shock to me. I already knew Mike had done something to the car. I think I wanted to believe it was him being stupid. Sadly I think it truly was done purposely. He, being a mechanic himself would know better than to do something as brutal to a car as that. I then asked how long she thought it might be before they had the car fixed. She said they were hoping to have it back to me by the next day late in the afternoon. I was amazed and stated that would be great. She told me not to hold her to that but they knew how badly I needed my car and they were going to do all they could to get it done quickly.

Today at 4 pm they called to let me know the car was fixed and I could come pick it up for $150.00!!!!!! Again, I say, I trusted God. I know He has a plan for me. I refused to waiver from my faith. I refused to fret or worry. We are advised against worrying in the bible.God is faithful. Trust in Him. Give it all to Him. Knock on that door and keep knocking. Get into His word. You will discover amazing truths.  You will begin to see how awesome and faithful our Father God is. You will also begin to understand the forces of evil and how to protect yourself. We are in a spiritual battle EVERY day. Don’t you think you would be better off knowing what armor you need in order to protect yourself and your loved ones?

I hope this post causes you to become curious enough to check out my full story. It certainly has been a most colorful one. Here I was thinking I had not lived much of a life myself until God began unfolding it all for me. Now I’m like, “Wow! I’m only 44 years old and I haven’t even told half of my story and really, I myself am amazed at the life I have lived!” I am truly blessed as all believers are. Do not fall for Satan’s evil web of lies. There is NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING you could do that would keep your Heavenly Father from throwing you a party should you decide you are ready to come home like the prodigal son. He came home with the intention of being a slave for his father and that is not how the story ended. Check it out for yourself. Your heavenly father is waiting for your return as well.

Father, I come before you today with such joy in my heart. You amaze me. You are so faithful. I am getting better at trusting in you with all my heart even when the father of lies is whispering differently to me. Thank you for that. It is you that has calmed my heart, given me strength, and seen me through. Why would you do that for all my life and then suddenly stop? The answer is you would not for that is not in your nature. You love all your children. We are so blessed. How blessed we are to call you Father. To have you save the day for us again and again and again. I know I should not have been in the situation I was in for you had confirmed that time and time again. Yet as a foolish girl, I longed for something that was not to be and you did not punish me. You simply waited for me to figure it out. I laugh now thinking why on earth did I not phrase my prayer like that years ago! Who knew you would move so swiftly to show me the truth of my situation. How I love you. I just wanted to say thank you for how much you love me. I feel your love beaming down on me like the sun. It feels wonderful. I could bask in it forever. I will bask in it. What a lovely place to be in life. Thank you Father. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Wendy (walks with God)

Mom of Many

© Wendy Glidden 2013

Convicted by God

Superlicious Silly Sing Song Saturday! Here is K-Loves Encouraging word for the day:

And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace.

~ Colossians 3:15, NLT

Does that sound like Heaven or what?!!!!!! I am hanging with the super six at play McDonalds this morning. My lap top is fired up and I'm about to finally write my next chapter I was hoping to get to by Thursday "Convicted by God" . . . I'll post the link as soon as I finish!

Have a Superlicious Silly Sing Song Saturday Everyone!! If you are looking for an inspirational true life story to dig into, I cordially invite you to check out my blog. I've written 87 posts to date. The first one is titled "In the Beginning" I cover things like abortion, adoption, running away, dropping out of high school, being married against my will, being divorced, being assaulted by a stranger, Hearing angels singing, having prayers answered, receiving a message from God, Being spoken to during prayer and so much more.

It was God that called me forth to tell my story. While fearful I stepped out in Faith. I am blessed beyond measure in doing so. Who knew?!? All I ever ask is that you share my link should you find yourself encouraged or inspired www.youareworthytoo.com

This last Thursday on my way to work I was listening to K-Love as my teenager truly enjoys the humor and the songs. Funny how you can hear and sing a certain song 100 times or more and then out of the blue have it affect you so deeply. This is exactly what happened to me! This was my post from Thursday on my Facebook Page also titled You Are Worthy Too:

Tremendously Thankful Thoughtful Thursday. You know how in the mornings it seems your connection to God is sometimes stronger? This morning on my way to work a song I've sang 100 times came on. I am horrible with titles so it will require a google / youtube search. The line that struck me with great emotion was 'I find you when I fall apart'. It got me thinking about this journey of mine. I've had... bumps in the road like anyone else has. Moments I have been on my knees. But I will forever remember the day I fell apart for it was when I was convicted by God. I felt a huge pull on my heart to share how all that came to happen. It is out of order from the current 3 chapters of my life I am blogging on but when the Holy Spirit speaks, I am driven to listen. Look for my next blog I will publish before the end of today. I am calling it "Convicted by God" have a Tremendously Thankful Thoughtful Thursday my friends..

That line, 'I find you when I fall apart' struck a chord and I fell back in time to the minute that God convicted me. He is a loving Father. I have heard of others being convicted and how it changed their life but until I experienced it for myself, I really did not understand. I mean I have been down and out. I have balled my eyes out; I felt like I have fallen apart countless times in my life and honestly I have. But when I truly fell apart was when I was convicted by God. It’s not like He came down and chastised me. No. Nothing like that. It’s more like being moved in a way by the Holy Spirit that causes you to catch a glimpse of yourself and your life through God's eyes while He holds you in His arms as you deal with the truth. I think some have even called this process walking through the fire.

At this point in my life, I was pregnant with Jeffrey Thomas; the baby God had told was a blessing when I was in desperate prayer over my lack of faith in my being able to take on another child. If you are curious enough that post is titled “On My Knees”. I was past the house fire I have also shared under the post “Saved by an Army of Angels” I spent no real time on the internet. I still consider myself the worst googler in the world! The only things I did online involved looking for free ways to advertise for Glidden Fence. I had built a webpage for us on Merchant circle. I blogged on that site and posted fence pictures and I emailed customers for my day job at Glidden Fence Company Incorporated.  I had a Facebook page as well but I didn’t get on that sit very much in those days. Somehow, I found myself listed on a site called LinkedIn. One day about a month or so before my 41^st birthday, I received a message from a childhood friend asking if I was The Wendy Glidden that lived on 71^st St. in Indianapolis as a child.  I was so thrilled to have been found by her, I instantly wrote back.  We began emailing back and forth every week catching up on each other’s lives.

The weekend after my birthday, when I opened my email account, I saw I had an email from my friend. When I first read her letter, I was confused as to who she was talking about. In a gist, she informed me that she hated to deliver the news that Danny had passed away on my birthday. I sat there staring at her email for a minute trying to rack my brain about who on earth she was referring to. What Danny did we both know and know well enough for her to assume I’d know who she was referring to with just the first name. Danny, Danny, Danny. I actually said his name several times and then it hit me like a lightning bolt. She meant Danny Joe. I had introduced them once.  I fell back in my chair as if I had been blown back by an invisible force. I was stunned. I sat back for a moment without moving. How long had it been since I had even thought about him? Danny Joe had been my first love and even more importantly, at a transitional time in my life, he was also my best friend.

I cannot begin to tell you how this news rocked my world. I replied to her email asking if she knew what had caused his death. She informed me there were a few rumors and advised me to read his obituary. I did not stop there, I searched his name. I wondered what had happened to him. In my search I discovered he’d had two children with a girl named Wendy her last name also started with a G. I also discovered he’d never married. I cannot tell you how hard this information caused me to cry. As weird as it may seem I was morning Danny Joe. At one point in my life I had believed he was my one and only.  I wept uncontrollably. I remembered he had a younger sister and I recalled her name. I checked out the page that was posted on the mortuary that was hosting his funeral and I posted a comment. I don’t know why but I also searched him out on Facebook. I was curious to know more about him. I didn’t find him but next I typed in his sister’s name and found the one I though was her and sent her a message asking if she was Danny Joe’s sister. Indeed she was. She invited me to his funeral but I was pregnant and there was no way Mike would have ever been okay with me going.  It was in Danny Joe’s passing that I was forced to see how drastically far from friends Mike and I had become.  I wondered if I was the reason Danny Joe had never married. We were going to get married. That was the plan. I questioned whether me pushing him to sleep with me as revealed in my blog “Forcing My Destiny” was the reason he ended up being a young father. I tortured myself wondering would he have waited for me.  

As I continued falling back in time and seeing things through the lens of truth, I was convicted again and again. It was when I truly felt apart  that I became open to all God had to offer me, including the truth about His Son Jesus. Tracy invited me to hang out with her group of friends that got together once a week and took a deep dive into the bible. This is when I met Tiffany and Jordan. I am the only one out of that original study that still attends the small group. Funny enough we are growing again. I keep inviting friends to come. It is through Tracy that I also found Leavener and began fellowship every Sunday there. Not long after I began going there every week, Rusty began the study on Jesus by following along the gospel of Luke since he told the gospel in chronological order.  I found the ministry of Jesus amazing. Rusty took the time to tie in the Old Testament prophesies and how Jesus fulfilled them leaving no doubt that Jesus was indeed the messiah. I found myself a believer of Jesus Christ.  The full message of Grace did not penetrate my brain until I attended the Crossroads Great Banquet in February, 2013. When I wrote down what I felt were the ‘sins’ keeping me from forgiveness and then nailed them to the cross it all changed for me.

When God convicts you, you are forced to see the truth. You see how He has been with you through trial after trial after trial. You cannot deny how much He loves you. You see how judgmental you have been towards your heavenly Father. Or at least that was how it was for me. I pushed hard questioning where did it all go wrong for me and I suddenly I saw it all so clearly it broke my heart.

Jeffrey Thomas was indeed a blessing. It is a good thing that my father and uncle came up with his name. Mike had no desire to have any input. I asked how he felt about the name Jeffrey Thomas and he said he didn’t care. I gave him a full 24 hours after Jeffrey was born to come up with something. As it has sadly been after the birth of each of our children, Mike was not there for me.

I find it funny that I have come full circle again. I can want Mike to be a man of God all I want. I can see how great he could be, but until Mike wants that for himself, he will never be that man. It breaks my heart to know he has no desire to follow Jesus. He mocks me for as much. My new nickname is often, "Oh Great One" which is crazy. I don't get his cruelty. It has puzzled me for years. 

Last Thursday night, I found myself so fed up with Mike I again went to my Father God in prayer. This time I kept it simple. Either convict this man or remove him from my life. The next morning I awoke and found Mike in one of his moods. While looking for a heavy sweater, he began tearing clothes out of the cabinets on my side of the room. I asked what on earth he was looking for and he said a sweater. I climbed up on the bed, opened the cabinet on his side of the room and pulled out the bottom sweater. When it came out, low and behold, my Great Banquet cross that says “Christ has chosen you” fell out of the shirt and landed on my bed. I have looked everywhere for this cross. I lost it back in May. The last time I had seen it I had taken it off after I had fallen asleep because when I went to turn over I got tangled up in it. The crocheted braid it hangs on is truly long.  I shook my head. If this was not a sign I don’t know what is! When I went to work that morning I remembered I needed to email Marie’s teacher and when I reached for her business card, I flipped over a coupon that was also on my desk. On the other side of the coupon was an advertisement for an apartment complex less than two minutes from where I work. It also just happens to be in the same school district as my children currently attend. I no longer believe in coincidences, I prefer to see them as signs from God. I picked up the phone and inquired about the three bedroom units. Ironically they are less than the cost over a years’ time as I was paying for childcare. There is a waiting list to get into them. As all things are in God’s perfect timing, I know that when my apartment is available the timing is going to be perfect.

This weekend, I informed Mike that my boundaries are set. I let him know I wanted no fake gestures for it was not up to me who he decided to follow. There are only two teams in my mind, Team Jesus and Team World. I am completely on Team Jesus. Mike likes the lusts of this world and that is fine for him. It just won’t work for me. I need a household to raise my children in that has their focus on the right thing. I really do love Mike. He says he loves me but his actions speak otherwise. Who am I to try to get him to see things my way? You cannot force someone to love you and treat you accordingly. They are both capable and willing, or as in Mike’s case, where I am concerned, they are not.

I prayed to see clearer and while the changes that have occurred due to my lack of blindness have been painful, I look forward to the days ahead of me. I have been praying the same type of prayer for too many years now. I have been given signs and honestly have been like, “Okay God, got it. You are all I need. I can make it financially without Mike, but . . . “. This makes me chuckle at myself. Look at how patient our Heavenly Father is with all of us. We pray for answers and signs and even when He gives them to us, it takes us forever to get it through our thick skulls. It is no wonder we are referred to as sheep in the bible.

Mike knows I am leaving when my apartment becomes available. We have an understanding. For the time being we are parent partners. He has 120 days before I leave. Miracles happen every day. I guess he could still find himself convicted by God but honestly I am not holding my breath. I am resolved. Lately I have found myself reflecting on a conversation I had with the girl who returned my wallet. She is still at a point in her life where she does not want to be revealed and her name is unique enough that I will continue to honor her request and not mention it, but one day she asked me about this thought she had had. She said, "Don't you think that sometimes Satan is so determined to keep us from our purpose that he puts people in our lives to keep us from it?"  I have heard her in my head saying that several times in the last week. I cannot help but wonder if that is truly what he is using Mike for where I am concerned. It would certainly seem that is what the Spirit is warning me about. I have another friend that recently had the pleasure of seeing Mike as he has often been when no witnesses are around. There is no denying Mike has worked hard to keep me down. Someone should have informed him, “I’m an Overcomer!”

It has taken me three full days with many breaks taken mid- sentence to write this post. I hope it flows well for you. May you be blessed enough to find yourself convicted by God.

Father God, I come to you today so thankful for how loving you truly are. Throughout my life even when I thought you had abandoned me or were punishing me, you were actually watching over me, guarding me from absolute evil. How foolish I was to deny you, to challenge you, to question you. Thank you for such wise advice such as Trust in You with all my heart and lean not on my own understanding. Thank you for all the wisdom you have granted me. What a loving Father you are indeed. Thank you for such awesome undeniable signs. Thank you for your patience with me. Help me be as awesome as a parent to my own children as you are to me. Help me extend more grace. Help me model true love. Help me laugh through all the craziness the evil one attempts to put in my path. Help me see even clearer. Open my eyes and my ears to all you have to show and say. I am your humble servant Lord. Use me to the fullest. In Jesus name I pray.

Wendy, Mom of Many

© Wendy Glidden 2013

My Savior Lives, My Savior Loves, My Savior's Always Been for Me!

Hello! I hope the day has found you with a smile on your face, a light in your eyes and a bounce in your step! If not, hopefully what I have been given to share today will change that! I was on my way to work this morning listening to K-love and as this song began to play, big as day, I had my alphabet picture blow up in front of my eyes enlarging the next verse I needed to write on. If you have been following my blog you know that I have written on A - H to date. I have read what is under letter I a couple of times over the last few days and wondered when I would be inspired to blog on the verse. Today is that day. I am thrilled to introduce to you first the song that inspired the flash. It is "My Savior My God" by Aaron Shust.

And next, today's bible verse from my alphabet picture above my desk. It is taken from Psalms, Chapter 4, verse 8:

I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord make me dwell in safety.

With the world being in the state it is in, I find much comfort in this verse.  A couple of years ago, when there was much talk about the end of the world as we know it, on a few occasions I found myself in a discussion group with several people.  They were discussing the best ways to ensure their food supply as well as safety should the worst come to pass. In the midst of all these great provisional ideas that were being shared, I would chime in with this: "All that sounds great should we be able to stay close to where we currently are. The likelihood of that being the case is not certain so I'm just going to pray that God throws me some manna from heaven. He's the only true protection I can count on." 

Throughout all the various conversations I have been a part of over the last two years, some have chuckled. Someone once stopped talking and stared at me as if I was speaking in another language. The best response in my mind was when I had a guy high five me and say, "I love that. That's what I'm talking about." He was a fan of Ron Paul. I have been a fan of Ron Paul since I first researched him during the 2008 presidential election. He has written several enlightening books on what goes on behind the curtain. If you are into politics he is hands down someone that should have caught your attention for he stands apart from the majority of representatives we are presented with as candidates especially when you take a deeper look at what he stands for. I find it absolutely hilarious that our news crews called him a kook among other unkind names when he was a Presidential Candidate during the 2008 election. However, once the election was over, they had him on as a knowledgeable source for questions regarding our economy! The irony of the situation did not escape me!

We turned off the TV in our household in April of 2008. Mike and I came to the certain belief that 96% of what came out of the TV had a negative tone to it. Not a good percentage to win 'front and center time' in any household, let alone mine. Today I have no idea how I ever had time to watch it. I know one thing for certain, I don't miss it. You would be amazed at how much your children don't know they 'need' when they are no longer being feed soundbites every day. I often refer to the TV now as white noise. I would encourage you to turn it off for one month and see for yourself if anything changes in your home. 

With all that being said, I end today's post with the acknowledgement of how freeing it is to KNOW 100% that God has this. I don't need to understand everything about God. I don't have to defend his existence. I simply am blessed to have testimonies to share with my brothers and sisters. I too know how dark some of the roads we walk down can be. I've walked many of them myself. I am so blessed to have sought God and His advice, for when you seek, you will always find. The more you seek, the more you find. The more you find the more you seek. Until one day you see things shrouded in Heavenly lights so bright it takes your breath away and leaves you in a state of awe. When you get here, you will experience such a freedom, you will finally understand rest! Brace yourself though for Satan does not want you to remain in that state of mind. He will come at you in ways you have yet to experience. Remember to lean on your Heavenly Father. He is faithful. He will always see you through. 

Today I pray countless begin to seek you Father. I pray they seek you daily. I pray they sing your praises morning, noon and night. I know how faithful you are. May they come to know this as well. How blessed I am to have felt so tangibly your love for me. I thank you for that. I am in awe of your love for me. How I am counted as righteous still baffles my mind. How loving and gracious you are! Thank you. I pray more of my sleeping brothers and sisters awaken and step into action. I pray they hear your voice and recognize the signs you send them. I pray I recognize the signs you flash before me. I pray for more signs! I thank you for past signs. How they caused me to lift my head. I pray for your protection when it comes to those the evil one and those unfortunate souls he has connived, deceived and lied to. As you promise the enemy is crushed under my feet, let me never fall victim to him. Protect my heart and my mind Father as only you can. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.

Wendy, Mom of Many

© Wendy Glidden, 2013

Take up the Shield of Faith!

Wild Wacky Wonderful Wednesday! What on earth do you have in store for me today? I was so blessed yesterday to receive so many encouraging comments regarding various posts others have read. If you've read my story from the first post entitled "In the Beginning" you know my desire has always been to be a helpful servant to the Lord. I am at last the Woman that I Admire! I never, in my wildest dreams, envisioned my life as it is today. I am blessed to be a friend to God again. I promise if you seek Him with all your heart He will answer.

I have mentioned through various blogs an alphabet picture that hangs on my wall above my desk at work. I found it at a Goodwill and just had to have it. One would think in 7 months time I would be beyond letter "H" but alas, that is where I am at today! I am pleased to announce I now have a camera that is good enough to snap a picture it, so without further ado, here is my Alphabet Picture:

** I was hoping it would show up better, but this is the best I can get for now!

So today's letter is "H" and the verse for it comes from 1 John, Chapter 4, verse 4 my picture reads:

He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.

However this morning I heard the entire verse on either Moody or K-Love and I caught my breath. After excitedly grabbing my bible I knew I had to share not only the complete quote from verse 4 but I must also share with you more of this chapter. From my MacArthur study Bible Beginning at Chapter 4, verse 1:

verse 1: Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.

verse 2: By this you know the Spirit of God: every spirit that confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God;

verse 3: and every spirit that does not confess Jesus is not from God; this is the spirit of the antichrist, of which you have heard that it is coming, and now it is already in the world.

verse 4: You are from God, little children, and have overcome them; because greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world.

verse 5: They are from the world; therefore they speak as from the world, and the world listens to them. 

verse 6: We are from God; he who knows God listens to us; he who is not from God does not listen to us. By this we know the spirit of truth and the spirit of error.

I love knowing this truth. Satan may be in this world but I have the Holy Spirit IN me and He is so much greater than the evil one. What confidence this brings. All I have to do is remember this little nugget of truth each time I feel the evil one is coming for me. He cannot destroy me. I am firm in my faith.

I allowed Satan to trick me into believing I was no longer worthy of God's attention once. That will NOT happen again! I read my bible today. I did not read it as a child or even a young adult. I knew what I knew and that was not enough armor. Today, I fully dress for war every day. Do you know the elements of armor you need to wage war against the darkness of evil? If not, you can find it all laid out for you in Ephesians, Chapter 6. I am going to begin at verse 11 out of my MacArthur study bible:

verse 11: Put on the full armor of God, so that you will be able to stand firm against the schemes of the devil.

verse 12: For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places.

verse 13: Therefore, take up the full armor of God, so that you will be able to resist in the evil day, and having done everything, to stand firm.

verse 14: Stand firm therefore, *HAVING GIRDED YOUR LOINS WITH TRUTH, AND HAVING PUT ON THE BREASTPLATE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS, 

verse 15: and having shod YOUR FEET WITH THE PREPARATION OF THE GOSPEL OF PEACE; 

verse 16: in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 

verse 17: And take THE HELMET OF SALVATION, and the sword of the spirit, which is the word of God.

Quite an outfit of protection! I know that not being familiar with the word of God allowed the evil one to trick me. The best protection you can give yourself is reading God's word. This increases your Faith, it gives you understanding and so much more. I encourage you to renew your mind daily. There are many ways to begin this process. I have written a blog about renewing your mind and there is a 30 day challenge in there as well. This is the link to that blog: http://youareworthytoo.blogspot.com/2013/05/im-just-girl.html

Do not ever think your faith cannot be strengthened for I find mine strengthened each day! Picking up the bible does something nothing else can. It is why reading the word of God is such a vital part of your armor. Jesus defeated Satan by quoting scripture. If this was His way of defeating the devil, why would you not think it would be your way as well? 

I hope my post today has encouraged you to seek Him with all your heart. We were all created for a purpose. If you are looking for a more joyous life, God is the answer. This is not to say you will never run into trouble. When you read the bible that truth will stand out. What will happen is you will find joy in every day and getting through the trouble that comes your way will become an easier task for your strength, your true strength comes from the Lord. I know that truth beyond a shadow of doubt!

Father I come before you today with gratitude for the armor you have provided us with. How I wish someone had informed me of such things as a child! I pray the word gets out about the armor we all need for our own protection. I pray I am a vessel for such news. I pray countless begin to carry their bibles everywhere they go. I pray countless begin to read your word and share it with all they know. I pray more and more and more of my fellow bothers and sisters become bolder in their faith and join ranks encouraging one another as we are meant to do. I thank you Father for filling me with your love. I thank you for countless blessings that have been bestowed upon me. I thank you for your Grace. I thank you for calling me home. I thank you for how you are using me to reach others who are lost. I ask you to use me more. My life is yours now until my last breath. Thank you Father. In Jesus name I pray! Amen

Today I thought I'd leave you with a song I heard this morning. It is so fitting for this post:

Wendy, Mom of Many

© Wendy Glidden, 2013